


Stolen Moments

by lisedelorme



Category: Cardinal (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:01:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 46,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisedelorme/pseuds/lisedelorme
Summary: Please enjoy some short stories I couldn’t get out of my head!
Relationships: John Cardinal & Lise Delorme, John Cardinal/Lise Delorme
Comments: 100
Kudos: 73





	1. The Breakroom

He was late... which was strange and completely unlike him. Lise had been on edge all morning. It probably didn’t help that she was unusually early. She just couldn’t sit in that quiet, empty flat any longer. There was only so much she could do to distract herself; laundry, iron, make the bed, do the dishes.. the place was _immaculate_. Eventually she said “Fuck it”, grabbed her coat and left.

* * *

“Still not here, huh?”

She glanced over at McLeod and shrugged, “He probably just slept in or something.”

Cardinal never slept in. The man had an _unfailing_ internal clock.

* * *

A couple of hours later, she was in the break room, pouring her third cup of coffee when she heard the familiar _whoosh_ of the precinct door. She popped her head out and felt her stomach flood with butterflies. He was standing at his desk, visibly out of breath and furiously unwinding his scarf from around his neck.

”Hey,” Lise spoke loudly across the room, with an unreadable smile, “You better have a damn good excuse for being this late.”

Cardinal jerked his head up at the sound of her voice and immediately headed in her direction.

“I should have called. I was on my way back from Toronto and there was a pileup and-”

She lifted her hand to quiet him. After quickly scanning the room, making sure McLeod and Kular weren’t nearby at their desks, she motioned for Cardinal to follow her into the break room. He looked around too, eyebrows raised in confusion but did as he was told. Lise closed the door behind him.

“Wha-“

Cutting him off with a fierce lunge forward, her lips met his, hungrily. He allowed her access instinctively and when she felt his tongue brush against hers a small moan escaped her throat causing John to abruptly pull back at the sound; a sudden reminder of where they were.

“Lise!”

His eyes were full of surprise at her unexpected greeting.

“ _Someone could see_..” he rasped, but his hands were already secured at her waist, flexing his fingers.

She smirked and he shook his head, a mixture of admonishment and amusement playing across his face. They had been together for a little over two weeks now and their _newfound_ relationship remained a well kept a secret. Both were aware if they went to HR with it, they could no longer remain partners and that was a risk neither were willing to take. Not now, anyways. Everything was so fresh and new. They flirted with their eyes all day and made love all night. Lise had never been happier. And Cardinal, well, she couldn’t speak for him but she was pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

“I know, I’m sorry” her gaze dropped to his chest, “I just haven’t seen you since Friday.. I missed you.” she said, quietly.

He used his thumb and forefinger to tilt her chin upwards, returning her gaze back to his.

“You don’t sound sorry at all.” he smiled, “I missed you too.”

Her heart fluttered.

Quickly, he leaned down to steal another kiss and spoke softly against her lips,

“You’re on your break?”

“Mhm”

“How much longer?”

“Fifteen minutes, give or take.” she answered, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“Tell me, Delorme, what’s your stance on _car sex_?”

She couldn’t control the laughter that bubbled from her lips.

“Are you serious?” her accent was thick with amusement.

Cardinal dipped his head to whisper in her ear. His stubble was rough against her skin and she felt a pleasurable ache at her core.

“Wait here for a minute or two and then meet me downstairs.”

With that, he straightened, smirked and was on his way out the door. Lise grinned, biting her lip.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Lise was back at her desk, face flushed and bun slightly askew. She was staring at the computer monitor in front of her which was currently displaying the standard Algonquin Bay PD screen saver. Across from her, Cardinal sat with a folder in his lap but was reading his partner instead. McLeod frowned and shook his head in dismay. They were _detectives_ , when would they realize the whole precinct knew?


	2. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cardinal wants to apologize to Lise for how he reacted when she told him about Toronto. What follows is unexpected...

There's a heavy mix of anxiety and excitement thrumming in his veins when he knocks at her door; it feels good. It feels hopeful. He’s never felt this way before. They don’t do _this—_ dropping by unexpectedly at one another’s place. But he can’t make himself turn around now, not after she’d told him about the job offer in Toronto. He hadn’t known what to say. He was at the wheel so he couldn’t look at her properly and not being able to read her face made it all the more difficult.

They communicated best that way; with their eyes. He had reacted badly and he knew it the second she went quiet.

 _Did she think he didn’t care?_ Because he did, more than he wanted to admit. He couldn’t even imagine going to work every day, not seeing her sitting right there, across from him.

He can hear the hurried sound of approaching footsteps on the other side of the door and he pictures her dressed down in leggings and a t-shirt, maybe. He’d never seen her in any type of wardrobe that didn’t include heels and a pantsuit. Not that he was complaining.. She would look good in a paper bag.

The door swings open and he’s met with a very _wet_ Lise Delorme.

"Cardinal!" She greets in shock.

Her cheeks were rosy, her hair wet against her shoulders and her mouth seemed to be stuck in the shape of an ‘ _O_ ’. He wants to feel bad for interrupting what must have been a shower, but he can’t take his eyes off of her. 

"I'm sorry," He stammers anyways, trying not to stare like a creep at the the thin material of her oversized t-shirt and the way it clings to her damp skin. 

She quickly gathers herself and waves him off.

"It's- _no, it’s fine_. I was almost done anyway."

She looks lovely. Her face fresh and void of makeup, the light smattering of freckles that dot her cheeks and nose more visible than ever. He’s never seen her without makeup before and she looks so _young_. It makes him feel ancient.

_Why would she ever want to be with someone like him? A grouchy old curmudgeon with more baggage than even he knew what to do with?_

She smiles tentatively.

“Did you want to come inside?"

“If- yeah, if that’s okay?”

He internally chastises himself for not thinking this through. He never acts on impulse and _this_ is exactly why.

"Of course it is," She murmurs, stepping back to allow him inside.

Her front entryway is tiny and his tall stature instantly dwarfs her. Being so near to his partner like this was making it increasingly difficult to breathe. The whole place smelled so intensely of _her_ and he felt swallowed whole by it.

She looks up at him, her gaze darting to his mouth and then back up again.

“Um - it’s this way,” She motions awkwardly at the staircase to his left.

He nods and makes his way up the short set.

The first thing he notices when he ascends is how little the place emulates her.

It’s isn’t the most spacious of places, so as he steps into the main area he has quite a good view of the apartment. He notes a few pieces of furniture, a table with folders and papers strewn across it and a small but seemingly immaculate kitchen.

 _Why didn’t it feel lived in?_ It was as if she’d just moved in a month ago. The fact that she’s been a resident of Algonquin Bay for _years_ made it all the more confusing.

She brushes past him.

“I know it’s not much...”

“No, it’s -“

“I’m just.. not here all that often. It didn’t really make sense to decorate and-“, 

“-It’s nice, Delorme” he cuts in, giving her a reassuring smile. 

He doesn’t want her to feel like she owes him any sort of explanation. If anyone understood a place not feeling like home, it was him. His place was bare bones at the moment and had been for a while.

Lise leads him to the table and motions for him to take a seat.

“I don’t have much to drink,” she said apologetically, “but I think there might be some tequila hiding away somewhere...”

He watched her playfully waggle her eyebrows and then smile, her nose scrunched.

She was fucking beautiful like this; so at ease in front of him... It made his insides tingle with a spreading awareness that was all consuming and hard to control. 

“I haven’t drank tequila since I was in my twenties-“, 

So, centuries ago..” She cuts in, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

He shakes his head and smirks, “Tequila’s fine, Delorme.”

“D'accord. Okay.”

She disappears and he can hear her rummaging through the kitchen.

God, he’s always loved the way the two languages she spoke had a tendency of melding together and she never really seemed to notice. Though when she cursed, it was _always_ in her native tongue and the passion with which she spoke was, well _... passionate_. All this time working by her side, he still had no idea what half of them meant.

“ _Ostie_!”

 _See? like that_ , he thinks.

But the pitch of her voice alerts him that something is wrong and he jumps out of his seat, rushing to the kitchen. He’s at her side in seconds and quickly clocks the blood soaked cloth pressed to her shaking hand. There was also a knife and a lime sitting on the counter in front of her.

“Let me see”, He coaxes gently.

She hisses in pain when he pulls back the fabric from her skin.

“It was stupid,” she winces, “my hands were still wet and the knife slipped.”

He holds her delicate wrist in his hand, examining the deep wound low on her index finger and chews at the inside of his cheek,

“You might need stitches, Lise.”

She groans.

“Although... it’s really not as bad as it looks...” he trails, frowning.

She glances up at him, her eyes are glued to his. “What, John?”

Despite the current situation at hand, he can’t control the butterflies flitting around his stomach at the way his name sounds on her lips. He clears his throat.

“Do you have a first aid kit?”

She nods.

“I can stitch you up if you don’t want to go to the hospital?”

Her eyes widen at his unexpected offer.

He quickly explains;

“When Kelly was ten, she choked on piece of candy... and I had to perform the Heimlich Maneuver which I was well versed in, thanks to the mandatory course we take at the academy... obviously she was okay but it scared me,” he admits, “I wanted to.. be prepared for anything after that, so I took an advanced level course...and...” He trails off awkwardly.

She read his face intently, her eyes scanning his and for once he truly had no idea what she was thinking. He can feel her hip brush against his thigh and it forces him to recognize just how close they’re standing next to one another. His face flushes at the minute contact and he pretends to be hyper-focused on her wound instead, praying she‘s not as observant as she normally is.

“Mm, oui.” She quietly accepts.

“Yeah?”

She nods confidently, “Bathroom?”

“Yeah - yes,” he stutters, “If that works?”

_God, why were they so terrible at communicating?_

She leads the way through the double doors just off the living room and he quickly realizes it’s her bedroom. While she’s fiddling with the bedside lamps, it gives him a chance to quickly examine the intimate space. There’s a queen size bed in the center of the room, with a beautiful dove coloured fabric headboard and a simple duvet to compliment it. There’s a vintage vanity with elegant looking bottles lining the top of it and a chest of drawers takes up space on the opposite wall next to the closet. _This_ room feels like his partner; feminine but not overbearingly so, simple yet tasteful and the warm lighting now filling the room made it comfortable. It was the kind of place you would want to spend time in, to relax and decompress.

“It’s just through here” she says, interrupting his thoughts.

He follows her through the doorway of the en-suite and he can see the bathroom has a similar decor; standard shower, his & her sinks/cabinets but his eyes are drawn mostly to the beautiful clawfoot tub at his right; the sight of it instantly feeds his imagination. He tries desperately to tamp down the image of her naked body covered in bubbles, the smell of her shampoo filling the room. She’s rifling through the cabinet under the sink and he’s able to pull himself together by the time she pops back out. She hands him a giant red canvas bag with a white cross donning the front indicating its nature. He directs her to the closed seat of the toilet near them where she can sit while he fixes her up. When she gets herself seated, he notices the way her light grey sweatpants hug her hips and a fierce arousal fills his bloodstream. ‘ _Stop it, stop it, stop it‘_ becomes his new inner monologue. It’s not even just her body that’s driving him crazy. It’s her. _All_ of her. Getting to see this part of her life made him feel like he had finally coveted the missing pieces of the puzzle that was, Lise Delorme.

“You okay..?” she asks, cautiously, obviously sensing his strange vibe.

“What? Yeah, no, I’m fine.”

“Mm. You’re gonna have to sound a lot more convincing than that before you bring a needle around me.”

“I could always call an ambulance if you’re not confident in my abilities..” he taunts, as he's washing up.

She smirks cheekily at him, “I’m going to bleed to death by the time you’re ready to do this.”

He rolls his eyes.

He can feel her watching his every move. Once he’s prepped the necessary tools, he lowers himself to the step stool she’s graciously set in front of her so that he has a place to sit.. although it made him feel a bit like the _Jolly Green Giant._. Realizing he doesn’t have his glasses, he stops short.

“You wouldn’t happen to have any reading glasses lying around, would you..?” he jokes, rhetorically.

“Bottom drawer of the left bedside table.”

He stares at her.

“What?”

“You don’t wear glasses.” he states.

She shoots him an impatient look, “My mom stayed with me a few months ago and forgot them here.”

“Oh.” He’s unable to mask his surprised tone.

 _How did he not know that her Mom was in town?_ He makes quick work of locating the glasses and resumes his spot at the stool. She’s scanning his face with a funny smile and he suspects it it has something to do with the feminine frames resting atop the tip of his nose. Now that they were eye level he silently asks her permission to remove the cloth. She nods.

“I need to sterilize the area.”

“Mhm.”

“It’s gonna burn like a mother fucker.” he warns.

“Cardinal, I’ve been shot at, stabbed, held hostage and almost froze to death. I think I can handle a bit of burning.”

Her accent always grows thicker the faster she talks and he waits her out. Resting her hand face up on his knee, a towel now beneath it, he looks to her once more in question. There’s a hint of wariness hiding behind her eyes but he doesn’t say anything. Softly, he dabs the alcohol soaked cotton pad against her angry wound and she practically jumps off the toilet as if she’s been electrocuted.

“Merde!” she curses, loudly.

“I told you..” he’s trying extremely hard not to laugh but she’s making it difficult.

“Pas drôle!” she frowns, lightly shoving his shoulder with her good hand. “Not funny.”

He mimes zipping his lips but then speaks immediately after doing so,

“You know I can’t numb you, right?”

“Obviously.”

He leans over, rummaging through the first aid kit, searching for painkillers. He finds the tiny blister pack and offers them to her.

“It won’t kick in for a bit but at least you’ll have a head start.”

She pops out two pills and swallows them dry - something he’s never been able to do in his life.

“You jumped at the alcohol. If you jump at the needle I’ll have to tie you to the chair..”

“Will you start already?” she smirks, mocking impatience.

“You sure?”

“Mhm”

He begins pushing the needle through her skin at a 90-degree angle, to the right of her wound. He can hear a sharp intake of breath and can practically feel the pain emanating from her body but she doesn’t allude to it.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.” he answers, smartly as he twists his hand clockwise, bringing the needle up through the other side of her finger.

Her whole body tenses. He halts his movements and glances up at her.

“Okay?” he asks, checking in.

Her eyes hold onto his, her lips are mashed together but she nods.

He lingers though, wanting to be 100% sure before continuing. She reaches her uninjured hand out to squeeze his knee in reassurance. It’s such a small, mindless thing but it makes him feel closer than ever to putting a name to the feeling flooding through him. He holds the thread and wraps it twice around the tip of the needle holder.

“You were going to ask me something,” he prods, quietly, his voice had grown slightly husky with emotion.

“Why did you come here tonight, Cardinal?”

His hands freeze of their own volition and he has to force them to keep moving. Obviously he was anticipating this question to come up but it had momentarily slipped his mind what with the whole unexpected injury thing. He exhales heavily and starts throwing the second suture. He’s buying time figuring out how to properly answer her question. She waits patiently, not seeming to be bothered by his silence. He takes note of her clenched toes below them. She’s definitely in pain. _Why didn’t he just take her to the hospital?_ He moves quicker, not wanting to cause her more discomfort than he already has. By the time he’s pulled his thoughts together he’s throwing the final suture.

“I wanted to talk to you about earlier.. today,” he says quietly.

The sound of the scissors cutting the excess thread is like a bullhorn in the small , tension-filled room.

“I didn’t know what to...what to say.. when you told me about the job offer.” He can’t face her and it makes him feel like a coward. He's focused on securing the fabric bandage around her finger. “What I did, the way I reacted.. I’m sorry.”

“John, look at me” she murmurs.

He does because he couldn’t deny her a single thing if he tried. When their eyes meet, it is intense and heavy and full of unanswered questions. She reaches between them gently slipping the borrowed glasses from his face and setting them on the counter beside her. He can hear his heart pounding in his ears.

“Tell me how you feel.” she whispers and she grasps both of his hands in hers, squeezing them reassuringly - the bandage finger stays raised.

How did he _feel_? How _did_ he feel? He wants her, he knows that. He wants her by his side at work. She’s the only partner he’s ever had that he trusts entirely with his life. He wants her friendship. He wants to be able to sit with her in silence, and feel comfortable; at ease. It was something very few people could manage but it came naturally to them. He wants to have someone he can share his fears and dreams with and he’s always felt safe in doing so with her. Lise took him as he was, which was a miracle in and of itself. She never tried to fix him or mould him. But she has, without a doubt, changed him. She’s made him a better man. Even his daughter told him so at the end of their last visit.

* * *

_He‘s helping Kelly load her bags into the storage unit of the Greyhound Bus when she speaks_

_“Dad, I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything.. I’m just worried. Your apartment is so empty, work is driving you into the ground.. I’m-“_

_“Kell,-”_

_“No, Dad, just let me finish, okay? You have to talk to Lise.”_

_His eyebrows raise at the mention of his partner._

_“I know it’s none of my business but she’s so good for you. Maybe you can’t see it just yet...but I can.”_

_Tears begin pooling at the rims of her pretty blue eyes and all he wants to do is wrap his little girl up in his arms and fix everything.. make it all better.. instead, he just listens._

_“Mom’s gone,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “and she has been for a while. Admitting you love Lise isn’t a betrayal to her. You have to know that.”_

_He shoves his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans and drops his gaze to the the damp pavement. Love Lise? Is that what she thought?_

_“I’m sorry, Kells, for everything. You shouldn’t be worrying about your old man like this.”_

_“Dad, stop.”_

_He feels her small hand find his and he glances up at his daughter; his little girl who wasn’t really a little girl anymore but a beautiful young woman. So smart. So grown up. So much like her mother. He registers the mingling crowd around them starting to queue for the bus and he knows he has to let her go. Kelly quickly swipes at her cheek._

_“Promise you’ll think about what I said said, okay?” she reaches up on her tip toes, smudging a kiss against the side of his stubbly cheek. “I love you, Dad.” and then she was off, heading in the opposite direction._

_“I love you too, Kell” he yells at her back and she turns, grinning and blows him a kiss._

* * *

“ _Admitting you love Lise isn’t a betrayal to her_.” his daughters words now echoed in his head. He looks down at the delicate hands resting in his. The sight of her porcelain skin contrasting against his older, calloused skin made him close his eyes. _She deserves better._ Of _course_ he loves her. Maybe he has since the moment he met her. And maybe that’s why he’s carried a feeling of deep shame alongside his feelings for her. He had never betrayed Catherine but, emotionally? The lines were blurry. He didn’t want to hold Lise back, either. Her career was only just beginning and his was much closer to retirement than he’d like it to be. Suddenly he feels her cool fingers caressing his jawline. It’s tentative, delicate, and he holds his breath as he opens his eyes.

She meets his gaze, with a softness only she could possess. The underlying current of intimacy is growing in size with the reverent way she’s touching him, and he's so caught up in it, so enamored by this newness of their fragile relationship, that he doesn’t think twice when he reaches forward, lightly tracing her bottom lip with his thumb. The steam from her shower is long gone, but the air in the bathroom feels thick.

His body is taut with tension and his slacks are beginning to feel tight. He's waiting for her to stop him, to say she doesn’t want this, that she doesn’t want him, but the only thing Lise does is cant forward, encouraging him. He runs his finger down the pale blue vein of her neck. Slowly, he leans in, closing the gap between them and ghosts his lips at her pulse point. She whimpers and the sound does something to his body he could never put into words. The arousal coursing through him is powerful.

“Don’t stop,” she murmurs, breathlessly.

He gently sucks at the stretch of skin beneath her jaw, laving his tongue. His heart is pounding. He can feel her lips drop to his ear.

“Took you long enough,” she whispers.

He thinks his body might spontaneously combust. She rises to stand directly in front of him. He skates his hands up her thighs and gently tugs her body towards him. When she sinks into his lap, he can feel his erection push against her core. There’s only a few thin layers of fabric separating them and the thought alone makes him even harder. He’s kissing her neck, slowly. He wants to take his time with her. He wants to make her feel _loved_.

He splays his palms at the expanse of her lower back and quickly decides they can’t do this here, on a small stool in her bathroom. It’s not enough for either of them. He rises carefully and her legs latch around his waist as he carries her back into the bedroom, his mouth is still attached to her neck but she pulls away slightly, capturing his gaze. The first thing he notices are her blown pupils. She looks hungry and tightly coiled and fucking _gorgeous_.

Her hands cup his face just before she kisses him. It's soft and careful and he has to pause in the middle of the room to kiss her back, trusting in her grip around his waist to allow one hand to slither up her side, to her neck, then her jaw, where he angles her head to gain deeper access to her mouth. She opens willingly for him and when their tongues meet for the first time, they moan in tandem.

He was turned around, his back to the bed so he shuffles backwards until his ankles hit the frame. He lowers them gently to the mattress, the comfortable weight of her still in his lap. The friction is _so_ good..everything he’s dreamed of. She rolls her hips in his lap, and he feels the reverberation of her small mewl against his mouth. He palms her ass, flexing his fingers and he rocks her closer. The fiery need for her is _all consuming_. It’s washing over him, drowning him. He's hardly touched her, hasn't removed a single stitch of clothing, yet he’s already so far gone.

He shifts them further onto the bed, allowing his back to rest against the large pillows. His hand hovers above her breast and he breaks from their kiss to silently ask permission. She gives him the go-ahead with a quick, impatient nod. He rubs her hardened nipple through the thin material and rolls it gently between his thumb and forefinger. She curses ( _in_ _french_ ). He internally thanks the high heavens that she isn’t wearing a bra.

She moves to pull off her shirt off but he stops her, sliding his hands slowly up her torso, raising her shirt as he goes. He doesn’t want her using her injured finger unnecessarily. He slips the shirt over her head, and lets it fall to the floor. The sight of her half naked form is a work of _art_. She’s panting, her chest is rising and falling rapidly. He presses his palm above her heart, feeling the rapid thrum and then drags his hand down between her breasts, following the smooth path of her sternum. He makes a point of locking his gaze with hers. He can see the desire pooled in her eyes, the way she takes him in, the way she wants him; he feels drunk with lust.

He wants her too, badly. He recaptures her nipple, this time with the heat of his mouth. His tongue deftly circles the rosy skin, evoking a raw keening noise that tumbles past her lips. She grinds herself hard against him and buries her fingers in his hair, tugging lightly. He bites at the mound in front of him and moves to drag his teeth over her sensitive bud.

“So good.” she mumbles.

Her head’s fallen back slightly and her eyes are closed. He laves his tongue up the column of her throat, nipping and sucking, marking her, claiming her. The word “ ** _mine_** ” is heavy on his tongue; territorial. The thought of anyone else touching her has him to growling jealously against her. He forces himself not to say it aloud. She wasn’t his. Lise Delorme wasn’t anybody’s.

She rocks forward and back, rubbing herself along his the outline of his cock. He can feel them both growing desperate. He hums and abandons her breasts, much to her dismay. Winding his arms around her back, he pulls her even closer. He's so hard beneath her, it’s painful. But in the best way possible. He can sense her muscles tensing and tightening as she pushes against the length of him. He curses when her hips begin to crash harder against his. He dips one hand beneath the waist of her sweatpants, slipping his palm over the curve of her ass, squeezing the muscle, sending her jolting forward.

She was whining in a way that could only mean she was right on the edge of letting go. As she moves her hips against his in tight, messy circles, he cups the back of her skull, buries his fingers in her hair and cradles her body against his just as she shatters.

The sounds she’s making almost have him coming in his pants like a teenager. He listens to her catch her breath as he tries to catch his own. Holding her like this, makes him feel whole. He hasn't felt whole in a long time. Her face is hidden in the cove of his neck and her chest is heaving against his, the tangled web of her arms has gone slack around him, but he's still holding her tightly, afraid to let go.

"Cardinal," the husk of her voice startles him.

He glances down and sees the profile of her face, the flushed stain of her cheek and the shy smile, her swollen bottom lip is trapped between her teeth. He wants to free it with his thumb. He wants to run his tongue along the soft pink flesh. The drying strands of her hair have gone curly and he brushes the stray locks from her face, dusting his fingers along the soft skin he's never before had the privilege of touching. She hums and lowers one of her hands from his shoulders, captures his wrist with her fingers and turns her head, laying a kiss to his palm. He swallows, unsure of her and maybe just a little scared. She has the ability to wreck him. He drops his forehead to hers.

“I came here to say I don’t want you to go. To say that -” he can’t push those three little words out. They’re stuck to the roof of his mouth like glue. He decides to leave them there for now. He’ll come back for them another time, if things work out. “I’m not asking you to stay or to feel a certain way.. I just needed you to know how I felt. I just.. Lise, what do you want? If you want anything at all..”

She doesn’t hesitate, not even for a second.

"You," she says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, as if he should have already known the answer. "I want you."

His mouth goes dry. She diverts her eyes to his chin, but he recaptures her attention with his mouth, kissing her hard this time, slipping his tongue past her lips. He gently tugs at her bottom lip with his teeth reclaiming it and he swallows the small sound that escapes her. He can feel her pulling back so he reluctantly surrenders, freeing her lip with an obscene ‘pop’. Her eyes are searching, reading him.

“So I take it you want me too then, _oui_?” she’s smirking but he recognizes a strong vulnerability hiding behind her eyes.

He understands the gravity of what she’s giving him; she’s trusting him with her heart. He wants to promise her that he’ll _never_ hurt her. That she’ll _always_ be safe with him. He wants to tell her that she’s had _his_ heart for a long time now and whatever happens moving forward, she’ll still have it. She’ll _always_ have it because he loves her. But he doesn’t say any of these things. Instead he says,

“Delorme, if you don’t know the answer to that question, I’ll just have to spend the rest of the night proving it to you.” he shrugs.

She grins, her eyes dancing.

“Is that so?” then skimming one hand down his chest, she trails to the front of his slacks and begins working off his belt.

“I think I can handle that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this wasn't really a 'short' chapter.. we'll call it a short-ish chapter..  
> Thank you for reading! I'm enjoying writing fanfic more than I thought I would. I'm not NEARLY as talented as the majority of the writers on here. Y'all are amazing. Feedback? Thoughts? Criticisms? Lemme know down below!


	3. Subtleties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knew trying *not* to flirt could be so hard?

Cardinal had taken a few days off to visit Kelly in Toronto, extending an invitation to Lise to join him and as much as she would have loved to say yes, she figured it might be best for him to spend some time alone with his daughter. It was his intention to tell her about their relationship before he came home. Lise was unsure how Kelly would handle it, having lost her mother not all that long ago.. She silently prayed that Cardinal wouldn’t return harbouring any kind of doubts.

* * *

She’s in the conference room pinning crime scene photos beneath her notes on the murder board, hoping to findsome miraculous clue she’d missed, when she hears a knock at the door behind her... _the door she had purposefully left wide open_.. Frowning, she turns, and there he is; all 6’3 of him, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, smiling at her. The butterflies in her stomach begin waking from their brief slumber.

“Hey.”

She missed that husky voice  _very_ much. 

“Hi.” 

She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth to keep from grinning like an _idiot_. His eyes dance.

“How long have you been there..?”

“What, _here_?” he smirks, coyly “I got back an hour ago, but I’ve been standing here for-” he stretches out his arm to glance at his watch, “-oh, about.. thirty seconds.”

She shakes her head at him as he crosses the room.His hair is damp and she can smell the woodsy, evergreen scent of his body wash. He must have gone home to shower first. The thought has her blushing, memories resurfacing of the first time she joined him..

* * *

_It was in the middle of the night after they had just made love, their skin was sticky with sweat. Cardinal’s furnace hadn’t kicked in yet and they were turning into icicles, so he tugged her to the bathroom and they stood under the stream of hot water, kissing and touching and holding each other, with only the moonlight breaking through the thick steam._

* * *

_Tabernac_.

His eyes have significantly darkened. When he shifts his stance uncomfortably, she’s certain he‘s aware of the path her mind had just wandered down.

Lise doesn’t think any of their co-workers are aware of the shift in their relationship so they make sure to keep things low-key. They maintain their platonic partnership at the precinct, even going so far as to extend it to their carpooling as well, despite the fact that it’s only ever the two of them. Okay, if she was being honest, they  _occasionally_ toed the line. Their hands would sometimes rest side by side on the console and one of them - usually Cardinal - would bridge the gap, gently intertwining his fingers with hers. The way his thumb softly circled her skin always made her blush and he would glance over at her with a tender smile on his face, loving the fact that he could make her feel that way. But that  _truly_ was the extent of it.

When they were strapped into their vests, guns cocked, they _had_ to be at their best; their _sharpest_. Every thought in their mind needed to be on the task at hand. Anything else, and they were putting human lives at risk. The fact is, they are both professionals and they would never do anything to compromise their careers. Thankfully, they have plenty of time  _off_ the clock to spend wrapped up in one another.

They had to be even more cautious around Dyson. If she even so much as  _suspected_ an aspect of intimacy between them, she would be obligated to report them to HR; workplace relationships were  prohibited  and just the thought of severing their partnership was painful for both detectives. 

“How’s Kelly? she asks, anxiously, not able to ask the question burning at the back of her throat - _How did Kelly react when you told her about us?_

Cardinal smiles, warmly. Confidently. And she knows then that it went well. Relief floods through her like a tidal wave.

“She’s good _,_ Lise _. Happy.”_

‘For us’, is what he would have said if he could. Luckily they can read between the lines with one another. 

“Good.” she smiles, softly.

Her accent is thick; it always is when she‘s around him. Heightened emotions tend to drag it out of her. Most of the time it‘s out of her control, although one night when he was thrusting deep inside of her, whispering wanton confessions into the shell of her ear, he expressed how much he loves her accent. How much it turns him on. So she _may _ play it up from time to time..

The way he’s gazing at her now, reading her face and the emotions playing across it, has her heart racing. _This_ is their language. This is how they connect. He wants to kiss her, _badly_. 

Her eyes dart to his mouth, “ _Me too._ ” 

It takes everything in her to stay put.

“Are you here to work?”

He shook his head. “Dyson’s giving me the day to catch up on the case and then I’ll be back at it in the morning.” 

“I can help catch you up.” 

She truly didn’t mean for it to come out in such a suggestive way, but that’s exactly how it sounds. She mentally kicks herself. His eyes are even _darker_ than before.

“When do you get off?” he asks

_ Seriously?  _

His cheeks turn rosy at the connotation. “I should probably go..”

“You  _definitely_ should.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“You’re not leaving.”

“You’re making it difficult to.” 

He gives her that shy, half smile reserved just for her and _God_ , she can’t wait to get her hands on him. He’s been gone for four days but when you’ve only been a couple for a month, four days feels like a century. 

“I’m off at five.”

He nods, saying goodbye with his eyes and turns on his heels, leaving  the room and his partner behind.

A small part of her feels disappointed. He didn’t mention whether they would see each other this evening.

A minute later, her phone pings: 

**Cardinal** : 

“Come over when you’re done, we have four days to make up for. Xx”

She flushes, squeezing her thighs together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the lovely humans who have been so genuinely kind in welcoming me to the Cardinal fanfic world, thank you! You’ve made me feel optimistic about my work moving forward. Some content might be alright and others, not so much. It really depends where my head is at :) I enjoy writing these little stories though, mostly because they’re being enjoyed by others and that’s pretty awesome! So thank you. <3


	4. Building

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lise discovers an unexpected surprise. She isn’t totally sure what it means for her future with Cardinal.

Lise tossed the plastic stick to the floor, watching it clatter near the toilet. Hot tears blurred her vision, overflowed, and fell to her cheeks.  She swiped at them, furiously with the back of her hand and lowered herself to the edge of the tub.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to happen at all. _ Pregnant _ ? They had only been together for six months. They hadn’t even said “I love you” yet. Cardinal was nearing sixty with a grown child of his own and  this had never been the life she had wanted for herself. It was one of the many reasons why her relationship with Josh had imploded. She stared at the discarded test, halfway across the room, willing it to disappear. _When was the last time she even had her period?_ There had been no morning sickness, no change in weight, no cravings. If she hadn’t accidentally ended up in the feminine hygiene aisle at the supermarket yesterday, how long would she have gone without knowing there was a  life growing inside of her. God, there was a _life_ _ inside of her. _A part of Cardinal and a part of her. 

No. _No_. It was just a collection of cells, nothing more. Not yet. She lifted her hand hesitantly, then flattened her palm against her stomach. It was so strange. She felt normal, her body felt the same as it always did, although her mind was in crisis mode at the moment. 

_ Pregnant._ A  baby. A living, breathing tiny human that could one day look like Cardinal; maybe inherit his dark, messy hair or her light smattering of freckles. Maybe _both_. She let out a long string of french curse words under her breath. The overwhelming reality of the situation was settling in like an unwelcome guest. She felt sick to her stomach. Not ‘ _morning sickness_ ’ sick, but an ‘ _everything in my life is about to change from this point on_ ’ type of sick. Nausea, in the form of fear, despair, sadness, anxiety and  _ love._The last one hit her the hardest because how could she  not love something the two of them had created together? That fact alone scared the shit out of her.

A loud ping interrupted her thoughts and she reached over to grab her phone off the counter. She didn’t need to see the screen to know who it was. No one else would be texting her in the middle of the night.

**Cardinal ** :

You awake? X

_More awake than you could possibly imagine. _ Her mind had been scrambled with worst case scenarios, and her stomach, churning with mixed emotions but a single text from her partner had made all of it disappear in a second. He grounded her. As early on as their first few days of being partners he’d had that effect on her.

She sent him the coffee emoji in return, though caffeine was far from the culprit of her insomnia. She felt guilty for even telling such a small lie. 

They weren’t working an active case at the moment so she had quietly asked Dyson for the day off, telling Cardinal she wasn’t feeling one hundred percent. Technically _that_ wasn’t a lie.  She just couldn’t take the test at home with him around. If it ended up being positive, he would know instantly that something was wrong. Thankfully she had made the right call. It wasn’t that she didn’t intend on telling him. _Of course_ she would. She just needed a bit of time to process it on her own. 

She could picture him now, at his desk with his glasses resting at the tip of his nose. It made her smile, softly. The two of them had lost so much time, tip-toeing around what they meant to one another. When things finally came to a head in Toronto, it was more than she could have ever hoped for. She had quickly declined the job offer after that. She no longer  _ wanted _ it. Everything changed the moment theywoke up next to each other. There had been a slow and gradual transformation from partners to lovers and then a comfortable adjustment period where they learned how to balance both. They never really felt the need to discuss it. What they had between them spoke for itself. Some nights they would stay at her place and some nights at his. Until eventually, the back and fourth stopped. She kept her clothes in his dresser drawer and her toothbrush next to his on the bathroom counter. 

One morning when Cardinal had left for his run and she was in the kitchen making coffee, she’d caught something of the corner of her eye; a house key sitting on the table with a note tucked underneath it. At first glance, she recognized his messy scrawl, “It’s yours, but only if you want it.” he signed it “C.” She bit her lip, fronting and pocketed the key. That same day she made a call to her landlord, giving her notice. And that was that. Everything was so  _ easy _ with them. One thing blending smoothly into the next. But this? This little... _ this_? Not easy.  So far from easy. 

She could see the little dots pop up at the bottom of her screen and waited for his response. 

** Cardinal ** : 

Thought so. Go to bed, so it’s warm when I get there. X

She smirked. He always put an ‘X’ at the end of every message. She got up to stretch, and after hearing a few satisfying ‘pop’s’, realized just how long she’d been sitting for. After quickly brushing her teeth and washing her face, she changed into one of Cardinal’s ratty t-shirts - her new favorite sleep wear. He’s 6’3 so the hem rested at her mid-thigh. According to him they had the added bonus of making things “easily accessible”. She had rolled her eyes at that one. 

She darted across the room, pulled back the heavy duvet and quickly crawled into bed, shivering when the cold sheets fell against her bare legs. The house was like a freezer at night. It  didn’t seem to matter how many times Cardinal tweaked the furnace, the cold would always find a way to creep in.

 ** Lise ** : 

I don’t love warming duty. 

** Cardinal ** : 

It’s a tough job but somebody’s gotta do it.X

She bit back a laugh and buried her face into his pillow.  Was tonight really the best time to tell him? Would there ever be a “ best ” time? 

She woke to the sound of his SUV pulling up outside, the tires crunched loudly along the gravel driveway. Sherubbed the sleep from her eyes, adjusting to pale moonlight shining through the cracks of the window shade. She could hear theheavy oak door downstairs creak open and then close. His footsteps padded around the room, turning off the lamp she’d left on for him and grabbed a glass of water. When he was on his way upstairs she could tell he was trying his very best to keep quiet - with his stride, he usually took the stairs three at a time.

She decided to feign sleep, despite how deceptive it felt. Dropping a bomb on him at four in the morning after a long night of work probably wasn’t the best idea. When he crept into their room, he stopped to lock his gun in their top dresser drawer, a fatherly habit he would probably never grow out of, and lightly crossed the room to the en-suite. She laid still, huddled under the blankets until she heard the shower start up. Lies never sat well with her. 

She was curled around a pillow when the mattress dipped and she felt him scoot up behind her, smelling like pine and fresh laundry. He gently pulled her back into his chest and wound his arm around her waist. When his large hand came to rest against her stomach, her heart felt like it might break free from her chest. He didn’t know what he was cradling, and he deserved to.  She slowly rolled in his arms coming to meet his gaze in the dark. He looked exhausted, but his eyes were bright and soft when he took her in.

“I knew you were faking..” he trailed, his voice was deep and raspy. He smudged a small smile against her rosy cheek. 

The way his beard scratched roughly against her skin had her body reacting instinctively. She squeezed her thighs together. He lowered his mouth to capture hers, tenderly and the kiss was slow and warm. When he tugged her bottom lip gently between his teeth, she hummed. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a fantastic bed warmer?” he whispered huskily against her chin, “Maybe you should get a raise.. we could bump you up to full time.”

“You’re not getting out of it that easily.” she smirked

Her cold feet rubbed up against his under the covers and he exaggerated a sharp inhale. She pushed him, jokingly. She couldn’t help that her feet were perpetually cold and his were _always_ warm. She slid her knee between his, latching herself closer. To be honest, there was never really a time when she didn’t want to be wrapped up in him. Most couples probably felt that way within the first year of their relationship but it was just.. different with them. The first time they made love, that night in the hotel room, in Toronto, the way they had fit together... it felt like coming  _ home _ . 

He pulled back slightly to examine her features, reading her like a book. When she did the same to him she could feel the deep emotional tether between them tighten and she knew with certainty, in that moment that he was fully aware she was hiding something. Her breath puffed out shakily.

“Tell me.”

“John..” she swallowed, thickly. 

Every neuron in her brain felt like it was short circuiting so she  tangled her fingers through his damp hair, taming the wild strands behind his ears, buying time, trying to pluck up the necessary courage. 

What if they didn’t agree on the next steps? _Could this end?_ After everything they had been through... _could she lose hi_ _m?_ His hand slid against her back, rubbing against the fabric of her shirt, as if in encouragement, like he could read her thoughts. 

“John, I’m pregnant.” she whispered

The statement had struggled passing her lips.  _ Pregnant _ . It sounded so foreign. Her heart raced for every silent second that passed between them. After what felt like hours he finally responded,

“I know.” he murmured, hoarsely

She instantly pulled back and away from him in shock, opening and closing her mouth like a fish floundering out of water. Every word in the english (and french) language had seemingly disappeared from her memory. Her breathing grew heavier, verging on panting. 

“ _You_ _ know _ ?” 

“Lise-” he reached out to her but she pulled back further.

“I saw the test on the bathroom floor.” 

She squeezed her eyes shut.

“ _You found out I was pregnant from a stick on the bathroom floor_? ”

She slid out of his embrace and off the bed, pacing in front of the large picture window. 

“None of this was supposed to happen.” she choked out “ It wasn’t supposed to happen and you weren’t supposed to find out like _this_.”

Her hands were waving wildly, like one of those inflatable tube things outside of car dealerships. In that moment she hated herself for not just telling him when she suspected it. 

“John, I’m sorry.” her voice shook

“Hey, come here.” 

She turned to look at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. 

“Come here.” he repeated, more forcefully this time, waving her in his direction. 

She relented and crawled back into bed, immediately snuggling into the warmth and safety of his arms. He kissed the top of her head, and tightened his grip around her. She felt her emotions betray her as her eyes welled up with tears and her body trembled against his. 

“Hey, hey, no. Look at me” he husked, pulling away slightly so he could see her properly. 

When their eyes met, her heart _ached_ with the love she felt for this man, and the unbearable fear of losing him.  He cradled her face in his palms, brushing at her damp cheeks.

“Tell me what you want to do and we’ll do it.” he whispered, softly

She mashed her lips together, her expression wrought with anxiety and confusion. 

“This isn’t something you’ve ever wanted, Lise, or something we would have actively pursued. I’m an old man-“ he huffed, then quickly leaned in to kiss the small smile on her face before it disappeared.

She rested her forehead against his. 

“I wasn’t the best Dad to Kelly growing up” he trailed, quietly 

A sharp pain flashed behind his eyes and she wanted more than anything to argue, to say otherwise but she remained silent, letting him speak.

“If we _do_ this, I’ll be your partner. If we _don’t_ do this, I’ll be your partner. You  know that, right?” 

She chewed at her bottom lip and he tilted her chin up with his fingers, returning her eyes to his.

“We’ll be okay.” he reaffirmed.

The fervor in his voice and the confidence with which he spoke, told her everything she needed to know. He _believed_ in them. He was invested in what they had built together; what they would continue to build. _He wouldn’t leave her._

She laid her head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. 

“ _I love you_.” 

And she did, more than anything. 

He cupped the back of her head, holding her closer to his heart. 

“ _I love_ _ you  too_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written fairly quick while I sat in a waiting room for an hour so I’m reeaaaallly sorry if it is t great!! But you’ve gotten this far which makes you a champ in my books. Thank you very much for reading. I love you guys!! This fandom may be small but I kind of think it’s the best.


	5. Hunger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love imagining John and Lise living together, being all domestic and fluffy but also like, fucking in every room of their house. So this is more the latter with a bit of the former..

He watches her pad across the living room, wearing his old Toronto PD shirt. It swallows her small frame, with the hem barely hovering at her thighs. She skirts the kitchen island and moves toward the refrigerator, tugging open the door to peruse its contents. His breath hitches when she bends over because her shirt - no,  _ his _ shirt is currently riding up over  _her_ ass. _Her_ _ bare ass. _

“Find anything?”

She doesn’t turn around but he knows without a doubt that she’s smirking.  He comes up behind her, his fingers skating over the backs of her thighs.

"Trying to decide what I want." 

She straightens slowly, leaning her body back into his and he tugs her flush against his chest. Her ass lands directly into the cradle of his thighs and he wraps his hands around her waist, quickly dwarfing her stature. 

Their height difference frustrates her to no end. Last week, they were in the middle of a heated debate about a case when she had stomped across the room to the staircase, coming to stand on the third step so she could gain leverage over him. It had instantly made him laugh and his mood softened. He stood below her and apologized, wrapping his arms around the backs of her legs and resting his head gently against her stomach. When she ran her fingers through his hair, he took advantage of the distraction and picked her up, carrying her off to the bedroom over his shoulder, serenaded by shouts of “John!” and “Put me down!”

“Are you hungry?”

“Mmm, kind of. Depends on what there is.”  she sighs, nonchalantly, allowing her head to fall back against his chest. 

“What do you _want_?” he murmurs, huskily against her ear

When he skims his hands over the crest of her ribs, she trembles. His ratty t-shirt is so worn and thin it’s as if he’s touching her warm skin instead of cotton.

“What do you recommend?” her voice is breathy and low. 

The way her accent curls around certain words gets him _every_ time. Which complicates things when they’re at work. Say, in the middle of a debriefing, she stands to speak? Yeah, some days he finds himself shifting uncomfortably, readjusting his pants, _surrounded by their colleagues._ Her affect on him has him acting like a geeky teenager sometimes. 

She gasps when his thumbs brush over her nipples, already peaked from his touch, combined with the cool air wafting from the open refrigerator.

“I have a few ideas, but.. I don’t know if you’re going to like them.”

“Tr-  _oh_ ," she stops, her breath hitching at the feel of his open mouth on the side of her neck. "Try me.”

“If you insist.”

“That’s not what I m-

His hands slide lower, fingers twisting into the fabric of her shirt, bunching it up until he can reach the hem. He drags his pinky finger over her hip bone and she leans further into him. When his hand comes to hover above the heat radiating from between her thighs, she spins in his arms. He anticipated this and immediately plants his hands on either side of her ribs, pushing her back, effectively closing the refrigerator door.

Her gaze flicks to his mouth as he leans down. She looks hungry and definitely not for anything in the refrigerator..

She nips at the side of his neck, “I think I know what I want now.”

“That was fast.” he husks

Her hands flirt his stomach, plucking at the loose waistband of his sweatpants but he crowds her space, pressing himself into her abdomen. His hands knock hers away when they slip to her waist, tugging at her shirt until her bare ass connects with the icy door. She audibly gasps. 

He nudges her chin to the side with his, exposing the long line of her throat and drops his mouth to the side of her neck, grazing his tongue over her pulse point, and his beard against her skin. She thoroughly enjoys his beard. The way it feels, the way he uses her like his very own canvas, leaving deep red brush strokes, all across her body; marking her.

“And you, Detective Cardinal?” she smirks, “What are you hungry for?”

He moves his lips to her ear and flicks the lobe with the tip of his tongue. 

“You, Detective Delorme."

Her eyes are dark liquid. Want swirls heavily across her face.

He nods at the counter beside them, tensing his grip around her waist; she jumps slightly as he lifts her up and he smiles, smugly at her eagerness, stepping into the vee of her legs, brushing his hands lightly over the tops of her thighs.

“We have two hours to kill until Kelly and her girlfriend get here and I plan on making the most of them.”

Lise looks up at him through the veil of her lashes, a sly smile tipping up the corners of her lips. He dips down and catches them with his own, sucking her short gaspinto his lungs with the greedy curl of his tongue. Slowly, he lowers himself to his knees in front of her, smiling as she leans down as far as she can, following the pull of his lips.

“Don’t hurt yourself” she smirks, a clear quip at his age.

He grins into the soft skin at the inside of her knee as his hands skim over the curve of her calves, gently tugging her legs apart.

He wraps his fingers around her ankle, pulling it back so he can balance her calf in the crook of his neck. He looks up at her as he drags his mouth over the inside of her thigh, the taste of her salty skin and a sweet lingering lotion is heavy on his tongue. The hard floor is already causing his knees to ache but the scent of _her_ quickly blocks out any pain.

He runs his hands over the outside curve of her thighs and leans in to slide his tongue against the sharp line of her hip. The muscles of her abdomen clench as he uses his teeth to guide his mouth further down the smooth path of her stomach. When his fingers dig into her thighs, she parts them willingly, her bent knees falling open without any prompting. He watches her face when he flicks his tongue against her briefly, her eyes lock onto his as he pulls back, skimming lightly over her trembling inner thigh. She curses loudly in french, her fingers slipping into his hair.

“Always so vocal when I use my mouth.” he teases, hoarsely, planting a kiss to the crease of her thigh, the edge of his lips just barely brushing the outside swell of her lips. 

"Cardinal.” she bites out, a small whimper trailing behind

"What do you want?

"I want your _mouth_." Her hands fist aggressively in his hair, pulling him closer.

"Why?"

He resists, stares up at her; she runs a thumb roughly over his bottom lip. 

"Because you like it just as much as I do." Her voice is husky, dripping with desire. “ I’m not the _only_ one who’s loud." Without breaking eye contact, he parts her with his tongue and they both groan.

“See?" she pants. 

“Because  this -“ he dips back into her and sucks lightly on her clit, his tongue laps up her desire, sending her hips bucking against the marble countertop, "-is for me.” 

She hums in agreement. 

“Look at how _pretty_ you are.” 

He runs his finger through her slick folds, shining from the wetness of his mouth and her want. Even her very core is beautiful. Like a pink flower, blooming just for him. 

When he hears his name on her lips, begging, he can’t help but give her exactly what she wants most. His tongue darts forward, diving into her and he swirls it rapidly against her.

She cups the back of his head, and rocks her hips desperately into his touch. Her head drops back as she rides his mouth, heels digging into his shoulder blades. He drags his right hand around, under her thigh, and slicks his thumb over her, rubbing a rough circle around her clit. Her fingers fall from his hair to grip the counter and he pulls back causing a low whine to fill the room.

"Watch."

A sharp bite to her thigh has her jerking her head forward. Her eyes are hazy when she blinks down at him. She lifts her hips up off the counter when he slides his mouth over her again, a dirty moan thrums deep in her throat. 

“Good girl.”

His beard scrapes over her thighs as he bobs between them, fucking her with his tongue. He watches her mouth, lips parted, unintelligible french trapped within the cage of her teeth. He can sense she’s on the edge so he quickly replaces his thumb with his mouth and sucks on her clit.

She comes, violently, her body jerking against him. The sounds emitting from this beautiful woman - _he’s somehow lucky enough to call his_ \- while she fucks his face, practically has him coming in his pants. He gently works her with his lips, slowing until she’s finished. Her legs quiver against his shoulders and he pulls back, running his hands softly over her thighs.

Her breathing is still laboured but a small smirks plays across her face and she offers him a hand. He quirks his eyebrow.

“Give me your hand.”

He slides his sweaty palm against hers, gripping her fingers. When she tugs, he understands her motives and he laughs, heartily, getting to his feet with her assistance. His knees pop loudly, giving him away.

“Stop reminding me how old I am.” he huffs

She leans in to rest her forehead against his. “Hey, when you make me come like _that_ , I don’t care how old you are.” 

She wraps her arms around his neck and her legs lock at his waist; he lifts her gently off the countertop. Gripping her ass with both hands, he walks them out of the kitchen. She smudges her smile against his and he secretly hopes she can taste herself on him.

“Shower.” he murmurs

She wets her lips, “Uh-uh. Not before we satisfy  _ my _ hunger.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not working right now (thanks Covid! + mental health) so I have waaaaay too much time on my hands and things seem to be getting smuttier and smuttier...?


	6. A Million Little Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Catherine’s death and the way it affected Cardinal and Lise’s relationship.

After his wife died, Cardinal plunged into a deep and dark depression.

* * *

That first morning he awoke in bed, alone, without the warmth of his wife by his side, his heart ached with the loss of her. He punished himself for all of it. The guilt made him physically sick to his stomach. He hadn’t been a good husband, he never spent enough time with her like he should have, without any distractions. He didn’t visit her enough in the hospital. He should have known how she was feeling about her therapist and the way he was affecting her.  The list of reasons went on and on, but one of them in particular nagged at him in a way that the others just couldn’t compare. It was something he had constantly tried to suffocate, to deny, to run away from. But it was always right there, lying just beneath the surface. 

It was the way he felt about his partner. The way he felt about his partner while his wife _was still living_ and the way he felt about his partner even _after she was gone._

* * *

In the beginning, the attraction had been immediate and completely undeniable. He was drawn to her in a way that he hadn’t ever really been drawn to another human being before. The way she looked at him.. it was fucking _intense_. He felt as if she could see right through him or if she couldn’t, she would eventually. He wanted to hate her. He wanted her to go back to her old job and leave Algonquin Bay for good. That’s what he told himself, anyways. The thing is, he had forgotten what it felt like to _want_ someone the way he suddenly wanted this woman. It was as if his body had awoken from a coma. He hadn’t felt desire or want for anyone other than his wife in such a long time and his sex life with her was anything but active, especially after her diagnosis and that had been years ago. Lise Delorme had the potential to _ruin_ him and she wasn’t even aware of it. 

The day Josh showed up at the precinct, Cardinal felt as if he’d been hit by a freight train. The guy was a total- he just wasn’t right for her and it couldn’t have been more obvious. His partner had looked up at him before leaving and as she buttoned her jacket they locked eyes. It was as if she was saying she’d rather stay. With him. _He wanted that too._ It was wishful thinking on his part. As soon as he sat back down at his desk, he chastised himself for feeling jealous in the first place. He was a _married man,_ for fucks sake. Later, he learned much more about their relationship than he would’ve liked to have. He took it out on her one day, telling her not to half ass the job. That maybe that shit worked at home, but not with him. She had come back at him just as hard,

“Because _your_ focus is one hundred percent!” 

“Whatever you think you’re looking for? There’s nothing to find.”

He was inches away from her face when he said it and in that moment, he was certain she was the one investigating him. He had suspected it for some time but having the confirmation right there in front of him.. the betrayal he felt was tantamount. He questioned everything between them up until that point. Was it all just a ruse? Did he fall into the trap of a wily detective, drawn in by her _‘charm’_? He tried to play it cool but eventually, they went head to head in the conference room. She wanted so desperately to know why he did what he did and he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her everything; every single detail. He wanted her to know that it was _eating him alive_ but he had to protect his wife. She was innocent. Lise _begged_ him to explain it, to make sense of it. When he saw that single tear roll down her cheek he knew she hadn’t tricked him. Their partnership was real. 

And in the very end, she saved him. 

After that, they continued building upon a rock solid foundation. They trusted each other. Yes, she kept her personal life private for the most part but that didn’t stop him from wanting to know everything about her. To crack her open like a walnut, shuck the shell and see what she was made of. They would spend hours in the car together; driving, staking out places, eating lunch and most of the time it was all done in silence. They never needed a steady flow of conversation to feel comfortable with one another. They worked well together. They played off of each other. And eventually, they started flirting with one another. It happened in the most subtle of ways; inside jokes, smirks across the desk, bumping shoulders walking down the hallways together. It was _so_ subtle that they could both claim it was harmless. Just ‘partners being partners’. 

Close to the time of Catherine’s death, Cardinal found Lise smoking just outside the precinct and he asked if they could talk. He was beginning to feel like his past and current issues were interfering with her career and he didn’t want that. Maybe it was his way of pushing back. Giving her an out. If she wanted to leave, he understood. Internally though, every part of him fought against it. She had stared at him then, for what seemed like a lifetime. She finally, quietly replied,

“It’s too late for that.” 

The look in her eyes when she said it and the small, sad smile that flashed across her face was all it took to confirm she felt the same way he did. It was mutual. She wouldn’t leave but she also knew nothing could ever happen between them, just as he did. 

After that, he could no longer act as if this was just a harmless crush. He had no idea what to do. Though he needn’t wonder long, with his wife’s demise just around the corner.

* * *

The guilt he felt in those very first days had been insurmountable. He locked himself away and stopped speaking to everyone. Even his partner.  _ Especially _ his partner. He couldn’t bear to look at her. He still cared about her, deeply, despite  everything that had happened. And that was the problem. He hated himself for it.  _ How could he do this to his wif _ _e?_ He hated her for it too.  _ Why did she have to come into his life? Why did she feel for him the way she did?  _

Some nights he would drink himself to sleep and wake up in a puddle of his own vomit. Other nights he would stay up until the crack of dawn, torturing himself with old family videos and photo albums. He rarely changed or showered and when he would occasionally catch his reflection in the pane glass windows or in the leftover milk in his cereal bowl, all he saw was a shell of a man, literally wasting away and it was _exactly what he deserved._

After those first few months passed, he no longer received visitors, attempting to breach his fort of solitude. They stopped knocking. He unplugged the phones in the house. He smashed his iPhone to pieces. He was more alone than he had ever been before. _As he should be._

That is, until the first night she showed up.

He was lying m on the sofa, channel surfing, nursing a bottle of whiskey, when he heard the sound of tires crunching along his gravel driveway. Upon peering through the living room blinds he recognized Lise’s car, and the shadow of his partner behind the wheel. He panicked. His heart pounded in his chest. He couldn’t think of anything else to do other than crouch behind the door like the coward he was. She didn’t knock, or call out to him. _All was quiet._ After he heard her car back down the driveway, he waited a few minutes. His hand hovered above the knob, cautiously, as if opening the door would suck him straight back into the real world. He checked the peephole, reaffirming one last time that he was alone and slowly cracked open the door. No one was there, but his eyes dropped down to the welcome mat where a bag of takeout sat.  _ She had brought him dinner._

He wasn’t hungry but he brought the bag inside anyways and sat down at the kitchen table. The aroma seemed to waft around him the way it did for cartoon characters, awakening his stomach with a hungry growl that rolled all the way through his system. He knew from the logo that the food was from his favourite Italian restaurant. He decided then and there to eat his first real meal in.. he wasn’t even sure how long it had been. 

As he sat there in the dark,in total silence, shovelling food into his mouth, he allowed himself a few minutes to think about her. About the way she smelled and the sound of her voice. The way she would smirk, pulling his glasses off the top of his head when he couldn’t find them himself.  _ Stop,  _ he told himself. That’s enough. 

The next morning, he was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, watching the shadows from the rising sun slowly touch on every part of his bedroom, when he heard the distinct sound of tires crunching down the driveway again, just as they had the night before. He leapt out of bed and crept to the window, only just catching a glimpse of her as she eased the vehicle back down his driveway. Once again, after waiting a few minutes he cautiously opened the front door. There on the mat, sat a travel mug. Not the disposable kind, but the type you buy and use on a daily basis. It was hers. He’d seen her use it before, watched her curse as the dark liquid seeped from the loose lid, staining her white blouse. 

Lise knew he didn’t like coffee made by baristas; that he liked it the “old fashioned way” from a pot with coffee grinds. No pods or fancy milks and sweeteners. A small paper bag leaned up against the mug and he grabbed both before shutting the door. Sitting, once again at the kitchen table, he peeked inside the bag, finding a poppyseed bagel, the kind he grabbed every morning from the cart outside the precinct.  _ She had brought him breakfast._ He was hesitant at first about drinking from the mug. Just knowing it belonged to her and that her mouth had touched the lip of it made it seem intimate, somehow. After consuming the bagel though, he relented and almost groaned at the taste of the steaming liquid even as it burned his tongue. He hadn’t had a sip since Catherine’s funeral and he had forgotten how much he missed the feeling of caffeine zipping through his bloodstream.

She began leaving him things on a daily basis, like little pieces of treasure. Mostly coffee and hot meals but sometimes folders with photocopied papers of the case she was currently working - without him. Her neat scrawl covered the pages and he read her words over and over again. It gave him something to do during the day and he poured over each piece of paper, eventually memorizing every bit. 

One night, she brought him something different.  _Herself_. 

Hearing her car approach his house had become somewhat of a ritual. A routine, if you will.He didn’t know when it happened, but he found himself anticipating her arrival, looking forward to it, as he would listen closely for the sound of her approach.

When he couldn’t hear her feet tread back to the car, or the sound of tires crunching down the driveway, he stood there in silence, waiting. Then he heard a soft thud just outside. After checking the side window, he quickly realized she was sitting on the front step, with her back resting against the door.

“I don’t have anyone to talk to” she murmured 

He gently lowered himself to the floor without making a sound and leaned his back against the opposite side of the door so he could hear her better. After her quiet confession and a heavy pause, she launched into new information about the case. She told him about the interrogation she ran by herself that day and who she liked for the murder. He swallowed up every bit of what she offered him and tried to remember it all so he could add it to the folder later. As he sat there with her, he thought about how the only thing that separated him from his partner was a few inches of plywood. It made his heart ache.

After twenty minutes had passed, she grew silent again and all he could hear was a bit of shuffling, the sound of her feet growing further and further away, and then she was gone, disappearing into the night. He sat there a little longer, letting his mind run rampant. 

_”I don’t have anyone to talk to.”_

He knew that feeling well, although his loneliness was by choice. Eventually he got to his feet - which was becoming increasingly difficult. He really needed to start working out again, stretch his muscles, get his body back to a healthy weight. He missed running in the cold. The sound of his feet hitting the pavement and his breath disguised as puffy white clouds. After she left, he opened the door, and there sat two tupperware containers full of food. He gratefully took his dinner inside. 

Every night after that she sat on his steps and talked. Sometimes only for a few minutes, sometimes much longer. He could hear notes of sadness in her voice or frustration. Most of the time she just sounded incredibly lonely. He could easily recognize that sound now. She didn’t just talk about work, either. She told him about her family, how she hadn’t see her brother in years and how much she missed her parents. Work kept her busy and made it difficult to travel back and fourth from one province to another. She even mentioned Josh one day. She told him how she had run into him at the grocery store. He was engaged. She was happy he had finally found someone who wanted the same things that he did and he knew she meant it. But what did  _she_ want? He never asked.

The next night, as the two of them sat there pressed against the door on opposite sides, she was quiet for a long time. He heard her shuffle, standing up to leave but before she did, he heard her softly murmur his name, followed by,

“I miss you.” 

And then she was gone. 

As he lay in bed that night, he thought about how long he’d been rotting away inside his house for. He thought about how much he missed seeing his daughter. They talked on the phone frequently and he knew she was really worried about him but he hadn’t actually seen Kelly since the day she left for school so long ago. 

He missed working; having a purpose. 

He missed feeling like a human being. 

He also missed his partner. A lot. And he was learning to live with that fact. His feelings for her would never dissipate, no matter how much he willed them to. It was time to accept it. All of it. It was time to move forward. 

The next day, he cleaned the entire house from top to bottom. Every dish piled in the sink, every piece of garbage overflowing in the cans. He showered, trimmed his beard and decided to take a walk through his property. He ran his hands along the snowy birch trees. He stood there and thought about his wife. How beautiful she was with a camera in her hands. He thought about all of the times they’d walked hand in hand through the very forest he was now walking alone. 

Everything was so bright and fresh. It was a little overwhelming at first, which he supposed was to be expected after such a long period of time spent indoors but eventually the cold air cleared his thoughts. He lowered himself to ground, creating an imprint of his body in the snow beneath him and he laid there for a while; until his hands felt numb and his clothes were soaking wet. Then he got up and went back inside, knowing exactly what he had to do next. 

That evening when he heard her car pull up outside, his heart repeatedly somersaulted in his chest. Everything in his body was screaming at him not to do what he was about to do, but he did it anyways, despite the crippling fear. When heheard her boots hit the front steps, he slowly turned the doorknob. She froze when she saw him. It was the first time they had come face to face in such a long time. _Too long._

She was as beautiful as ever, wrapped up in her winter gear; the heavy black jacket he was so used to seeing and a soft maroon scarf wrapped delicately around her neck. Her hair was down, a curly mess that framed her rosy cheeks and her lips were pressed together, anxiously. He had clearly caught her off guard.

She gave him a small smile but didn’t say a word. Her eyes spoke though. He studied every emotion that flashed behind them and he knew there were so many things she wanted to voice in that moment but chose not to. He wasn’t sure whether _his_ voice still worked until he whispered a rough “Thank you.” 

_ For all of it. _

It was the only thing he could manage. She nodded her head, then turned around and walked back to her car. He stood there watching her leave, not knowing what to say or what do. She opened the drivers side door and caught his gaze once more. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow? Seven thirty?” 

He nodded automatically, not even fully understanding what he had just agreed to until she was gone. 

* * *

Opening the door that night had been symbolic. He let her back in. She never spoke about those long months or asked him why he pushed her so far away. In his first few days back at work, she updated him on the case and after that, their relationship sort of just...fell back into place, piece by piece. 

He was a different man, there was no denying that but it didn’t change a thing for her. She learned to adapt. As time passed by, she slowly uncovered her partner again, hiding beneath layers and layers of fresh trauma and guilt. 

A year came and went and with it their relationship went through phases just as the seasons did. _Forgiveness_ swirled around like autumn leaves in the chilly breeze. _Recognition_ of their relationship landed softly and soundlessly between them like the snow that accumulated that winter. Their _communication_ grew and eventually bloomed. They learned how to open up to one another, like spring flowers, revealing the words that had been concealed between them for so long. Finally, the _longing_ , the _want_ , the _tension_ and _desire_ now burned like the summer heat, scorching the very ground they walked on. 

One warm, breezy evening, Cardinal stopped by Lise’s apartment for dinner. He followed her inside and he didn’t leave again until morning, with her by his side. 

* * *

Maybe that day he opened the door, was the moment he truly fell in love with her. The way her eyes smiled softly after not seeing him for such a long time. Maybe it was the way she never said a word afterwards. Maybe it was all of the dinners and all of the coffee’s and the way she _never_ gave up on him.

Or maybe, it was simply the way she made him feel _whole_ , despite being broken into a million little pieces.


	7. Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lise wakes up in the middle of the night just to watch Cardinal sleep (in a non creepy way..)

She loves to watch him sleep.

Savors these rare moments where there are no phones ringing in the dead of night, alerting them to a break in their case, startling them awake too early. The pale moonlight spills in through the windows and skims along the white sheets, paintinghis skin silver. She doesn't know what woke her in the middle of the night but she takes the opportunity to observe her partner. After quietly turning to her side she props her head up on her elbow and drinks him in.

He’s sprawled out on his stomach, his arms flung out on either side of his head.His hair is messy and untamed, but his face is relaxed, so peaceful in sleep.  _God, he‘s so beautiful like this._ No heavy armour weighing him down, no tortured expression, no guilt or sorrow drowning his dark eyes.  She marvels at how strong this man lying next to her is. After everything he’s been through and continues to go through; the trauma, the heartache, the self hatred and guilt - he still allowed himself to be vulnerable with her. To let her inside of his walls. She can’timagine how tough that must have been for him but she’s grateful for his strength. She never wants to be on the outer edges again. 

Their first few nights spent together were...difficult for him. She would sometimes wake in the early morning hours before even the sun began to rise, only to find him curled in on himself, closed up and self-protective. Gradually they made their way here: to a place where he feels comfortable and at ease with her next to him, his long limbs flung out, stretching wide across the mattress. His body open and trusting. Warmth suffuses her at the thought; just knowing that he feels free enough to be himself with her. How much he trusts her even in his most vulnerable moments. 

Her eyes wander across the expanse of his back, his muscles are relaxed but still easily visible, the slight dips of his vertebrae trailing up along the sharp peaks of his shoulder blades. They rise and fall with with his balanced, deep rhythm of breathing.  He’s naked, with only the sheet covering his lower half. They rarely sleep clothed when they’re together; mostly due to the fact that they make love before falling asleep in each other’s arms. His body constantly emanates heat but especially so when she’s pressed against him. Even lying next to him now, she can feel his warmth.

Suddenly, she desperately wants to trail her fingers along the ridge of his spine, and follow the arch and path to the curve of his tailbone, brushing her fingers against the dark, downy hairs. She won't though. She doesn’t have the heart to wake him; not when he’s finally getting some much needed rest.  Instead she watches. Pleasure thrums inside of her, low and heady. She envisions all the ways she can say ‘I love you’ without words when he awakens.

Her eyes linger over each part of him in appreciation. His  eyelashes - those eyelashes were enviable to any woman anywhere. Long and dark, they cast shadows against his skin as he slept. And his nose, she _adores_ his nose. That might be an odd things to say but there’s just something about the slope of it and the upwards tilt of the tip that makes her smile. She yearns to place a kiss right there. Her eyes roam lower to his mouth. Occasionally when they’re at work, sitting at their respective desks, he’ll read something to himself under his breath and she’ll find herself just watching his mouth move. The mouth that he’s pressed against practically every inch of her body. She shivers with want.

When they‘re alone, he smiles differently too. His lips tilt up slowly when she curses in french. He smiles with his eyes when she jumps into bed next to him, squealing at the cold hardwood beneath her bare feet. One quirk of his lips and he can go from adoring to desiring in an instant, leaving her a puddle at his feet.

Right now, his mouth is relaxed, his full lips slightly parted against the pillow. His scent permeates the air between them. It’s strong and woodsy and just... him. _His skin tastes just the same._ She wants to press her mouth to his cheek, feel the coarse hair of his beard against her lips. She imagines lightly grazing her teeth against his chin, her tongue trailing the length of his neck, coming to land at his adam’s apple where she would suck gently and feel the vibrations of his deep groan against her lips, wordlessly begging her for more. She  _ loves _ pulling those sounds from him.

Every day, every moment she spends with her partner, she uncovers something new, something unique and she basks in the knowledge that she gets to bear witness to each and every one.

He shifts restlessly, mumbling nonsense. She presses her palm to the expanse between his shoulder blades. When he’s in the midst of a particularly bad nightmare - a heartbreaking reoccurrence that happens far too often - she’s found that applying slight pressure to his tense muscles with her cool skin against the heat of his, calms him almost instantaneously. He remains unaware of this fact.

Tonight is different, though. His muscles continue to jump under her touch and his eyelids flutter drowsily.

"You okay?" he husks

His words slur against the pillow, still mostly asleep but becoming more aware of her. 

”Mhm, everything’s okay.” she whispers, smiling softly at his concern for her, even as he teeters on the edge of unconsciousness. 

She scoots closer and presses a soft kiss against his shoulder, reassuringly. He hums in response, shifting to his side, so that they’re face to face.  His eyes remain closed, but he reaches out for her, instinctively. She allows him to pull her into the cove of his arms and snuggles in, appreciating his warmth.

"Love you." he rasps, sleepily against the crown of her head.

It hits her like a freight train, all consuming, rushing rapidly through her blood stream, making her body sing.

_ This is the first time he’s ever uttered those words to her.  _

She can barely speak as she succumbs to the overwhelming emotions. They flow from her thudding heart, up her throat and knot there, aching for him. 

“I love you too, John.” she manages to quietly choke out.

And maybe when he wakes, he won’t remember his drowsy confession, but _she_ will and that’s all that matters.

After a few minutes pass and she’s swiped away the last trail of tears from her cheek, she lets the exhaustion tugging at her consciousness, pull her under. But not before she can hear him say:

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i haven’t posted for a few days, i’ve just been emotionally depleted. sometimes life is just really heavy when you’re going through it alone, y’know? but writing this little bit lightened things for a while! :) i really am happy to be a part of such an accepting fandom and fyi, if ever any of you are struggling, i’m here! 2020 has really been something else, huh?


	8. Something To Grab Onto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i’ll let this smutty chapter speak for itself...

Lise drops down to her knees in front him, her fingers reach for his belt before he has a chance to stop her and the bulge in his pants strains for her touch. She palms him, squeezing gently.

“ _Fuck_ , Lise, we can’t do this here we-“

She looks up at him, eyes hooded with lust.

“We’re doing this right here. Right _now_.”

“But-"

She cuts him off, slipping him free from his boxers, curling her nimble fingers around him. She strokes and twists expertly, up and down. When she spreads precum around his slit with the pad of her thumb, he groans, jerking into her palm, involuntarily.

“ _Relax, chérie_.” she whispers against him, pressing her lips to the base of his erection.

If only she knew just the sight of her like this is enough to get him off.

She drags her tongue all the way up his length at a maddeningly slow pace. Her eyes never leave his and it’s fucking perfect. _She’s_ perfect. The way she looks at him like she’s hungry. Like she’s about to devour him whole. He prays to God she will.

Finally, she envelops him into the heat of her mouth, humming. He curses, at the vibration against him, letting his head fall back against the door and his eyes slam shut. Lise hollows her cheeks and sucks, flattening her tongue at the underside of him, moving her hand to cup his balls, massaging them gently. The overwhelming warmth of her wrapped around him makes him feel drunk, hazy, blissed out.

He opens his eyes only to meet hers, watching him.

"Lise,” he growls, her name like a warning.

“ _Shh_ , you’ll get us in trouble.”

_Is she really on her knees, chastising him right now?_

He can tell this is all, somehow, just as good for her as it is for him. The desire in her eyes is more revealing than she‘s aware of. Something Cardinal quickly learned about his partner as a lover, is that she is very much the same in the bedroom as she is out in the field; she likes being in control. And with him, with his body, it gets her off knowing he’s totally at her surrender.

When she starts licking and sucking, pulling him in and out, again and again into the wet heat of her mouth, he drags his fingers through her hair, tugging at the short strands roughly. At this point he’s trying his best not to come like a geeky teenager.

" _Lise_." he husks, begging, pleading, but not entirely sure what for.

When the hand clenching his thigh drops down, he waits for her. He waits, knowing the second her fingers dip into her wet folds, she’ll moan around him.

And she does; low and dirty.

He tries to hold back the buck of his hips against her, but the sounds she’s making paired with her tongue - _fuck fuck fuck_. He watches the way she rides her own hand with hooded eyes and he has to squeeze his own eyes shut. He’s never had anyone work him the way she does. _Ever_.

He can’t help it, his hand fists in her hair and he wrenches her mouth away from him. He curses under his breath when he sees her lips wet with him and her saliva.

“Delorme, you have to _stop_.” He pants.

Her eyes darken at the sound of her surname. Another thing he’s learned about his partner? She highly enjoys intertwining their partnership as _detectives_ and their partnership as _lovers;_ a role playing of sorts. Sometimes the lines grew blurry for him though. She’d brush past him at his desk and he would have a sudden, overpowering urge to tug her into his lap... _in the middle of the precinct_. And then there were moments like _this_ one, where she’s blowing him in the janitors closet, _two doors down from their co-workers._

She looks up at him, frowning, her eyes questioning.

“I can’t -“ he explains, shaking his head, “I’m gonna come.”

She looks at him, confused, “Isn’t that the point?”

 _He loves her so goddamn much_. How can she look _this_ innocent with her accent wrapping so sweetly around each syllable while absolutely _destroying_ him with that beautiful mouth of hers.

“I’m not going to-“

“Come in my mouth?” she smirks

“Fuck, Lise.”

His head drops back to the door while his heart hammers in his chest. She has no idea what she’s doing to him.

It seems his inner thoughts and current reality seem to sync when he feels her reach for his hand - giving it a gentle squeeze. He returns his gaze to hers. 

“You _do_ know, don’t you?”

She nods and presses a gentle kiss to the head of his cock.

He curses. 

”Come in my mouth.”

Her tongue swipes across his seeping slit and she inhales sharply through her nose before she pulls the entirety of him into her mouth, heavy and deep and the second he hits the back of her throat, she _swallows_ and _oh fuck_ \- with one last twist of her wrist and the flat press of her tongue, he spills into her mouth.

It’s hot and it’s perfect and he chokes out her name, a mixture of first and last, laced with expletives. He feels her keen around him, swallowing every last drop while she rides the wave of pleasure unfurling throughout her body. She eventually releases him with a wet ‘pop’ and they remain where they are, chests heaving. When he’s finally capable of half-rational thoughts, he pulls her to her feet, clumsily. She leans into him so they’re chest to chest and their hearts slowly find a steady rhythm, beating flush against one another’s. He leans down to reclaim her mouth with his own and fuck- _she tastes like him_. He drags her lower lip between his teeth, releasing it slowly. She whimpers and he whispers soothing praises against her lips until she parts for him. Their tongues meet in the middle, tangling lazily together.

This is how they always come back to one another. Slowly, gently and quietly. 

With her free hand she tucks him back into his pants, fastening his zipper for him.

“You can’t go back in there looking like-“ she gestures her hand widely, up and down the length of his body, “ _this_.” she smirks 

“S’that so? And what about you?” His eyes dart to her hair.

Her eyebrows tilt upwards in confusion and when she runs her fingers through the tangled strands, she curses in french.

“ _Cardinal_!”

“Well what was I supposed to grab onto? The broom??”

She’s about to burst into laughter but he swiftly cups his hand to her mouth.

“We’re not good at this.” he whispers, “I’m too old for janitor’s closets.”

She kisses his palm before he removes it and begins straightening the knot of his tie. 

“I don’t know Cardinal, I think we’re pretty great at this. _Me, especially_.”

She cocks her head with a soft, sweet smile that makes his heart clench.

“Yeah, well, you’re pretty great at most things, Delorme.” he husks, quietly

”Oui, I snagged you, didn’t I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes the smut just hits you, y’know? at the most random times too! like, hey brain, can you wait until i’m not having dinner with my parents?? ANYWAYS. hi all, thank you for reading and commenting! it’s still wild to me that people genuinely enjoy my writing?? and i definitely want to get to know you guys! before i made my way on here, i felt like one of 3 people who watched this show so to be able to talk to others who are just as crazy about it as i am is the best.


	9. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fluffy pregnancy smut..

_ Denial is a funny thing, you cling to it like a life raft, convincing yourself that it’s easier to hang on forever than to let go and ride the tidal wave of reality. Lise tried to white-knuckle it for as long as she possibly could, explaining away her late period and the sudden aversion to anything citrus, or why her bra no longer fit her swollen breasts. In the end, of all things, it was the crime scene nausea that loosened her grip.  _

* * *

Cardinal held up the yellow caution tape for Lise to slip under while she snapped the chalky, latex gloves to her fingers. The two detectives took a moment to properly assess the scene in front of them. It was gang related, if the motorcycles, tattoos and littered drug paraphernalia had anything to do with it, though she had little time to speculate once the tinny, iron smell wafted around her like a cloud of noxious gas. The blood pooled at her feet brought everything into bright and glaring focus. Her balance grew unsteady and remaining upright suddenly seemed an impossible feat. Had the earth tipped on its axis? If so, no one else had seemed to notice. Her eyes followed the thick crimson stream all the way back to its source; the slit throat of a heavyset man in his mid fifty’s. His eyes remained wide open as if captivated by his very own demise. She watched as a fly landed on the exposed muscle tissue of his throat and it was in that very second she could feel the wave of nausea begin rolling through her body. She swallowed desperately at the saliva pooling in her mouth. 

“Lise?”

Her name bounced around her skull like an echo. “ _Lise_? Lise?  _ Lise_?” Ricocheting. Never landing. She launched herself across the street, only  just turning the corner of an alleyway before emptying the contents of her stomach into the cracks of the pavement.

“The flu”, she explained, upon returning to her partners side moments later. The words sounded lame even to herself. Cardinal hadn’t pushed any further but she could feel his eyes trained on her for the rest of the day. 

* * *

Standing there, alone in her bathroom that night, she stared at the two pink lines, not the least bit surprised by the results. With the test as physical proof, she had called Cardinal over, sat him down and broke the news, sliding the plastic stick across her kitchen table to him for further evidence. He didn’t look shocked so much as  grave. She understood and stifled the twinge of disappointment demanding to be felt. This gigantic unplanned bomb dropped on the both of them by mother nature herself was a lot to digest. 

“What are you thinking?” she’d murmured quietly.

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, never taking his eyes off of those two pink lines. She decided to give him a bit space and disappeared into the kitchen to make them both a cup of tea. She was hesitant to return and felt a surge of relief when he came to her. He had leaned against the counter with his hands shoved in his pockets and took his time finding the right words, carefully explaining his reaction to her and how it was due more to the knowledge of how upset  _ she _ would be by this curveball. The fear was something they both felt deeply but it turned out that they shared another very strong feeling as well, a  _ want _ for this life growing inside of her.

So, she moved in with him.

The interior of his home went through a few minor changes but her body went through more.

She was terrified by all of the big and small ways their baby was making space for itself within her body. The stretching, the weight, the exhaustion.. truthfully, she worried Cardinal would no longer find her sexy. That he would look at her and see something... maternal. During a moment of overflowing hormones and self consciousness, she expressed these fears to her partner and he had been quick to quell them. He told her how in awe he was of her body and the way it was changing to accommodate this small life they had created together. That she was just as beautiful now as she had ever been before.

* * *

It was a chilly autumn evening when he returned home from work, shedding his jacket at the door.He trudged upstairs finding his partner in the nursery, folding tiny pairs of pants. He leaned against the door frame just to watch her. From behind, you would never guess she was pregnant. It was like an optical illusion when she turned around. This taut round belly carried entirely in the front somehow didn’t seem physically possible on such a small, slight frame and she still had months left to grow.

It’s difficult for him to remember Catherine’s pregnancy. He was relatively young, busy climbing the ranks from police officer to detective. He missed out on a lot of the little things like swollen ankles and strange cravings. Technology had evolved as well, so when he sat beside Lise at her second ultrasound and saw his son for the first time, he could hardly wrap his mind around it. They could count each tiny finger and toe, watch as their child readjusted himself in the small cocoon Lise’s body had created just for him. Tears burned behind his eyes at the sight and he leaned down to press his lips to hers.  _They were really doing this._

He watches her hold up the smallest pair of overalls he’s ever seen. 

“What do you think?” she asks, turning to greet him, smiling softly. 

He never has to make a sound, she always seems to sense his presence. 

“I think if our boy takes after me, he’ll need more leg room.”

“Mm true.” she laughs, “How was work?”

He crosses the room, gravitating towards her. 

“Dull. I miss my partner.”

Hovering behind her, he waits for her to lean back into him and when she does, he dips his head to kiss her neck, savouring the smell of her perfume. 

He reaches across her, snagging a microscopic pair of Hunter boots sitting on the edge of the changing table and he smirks, holding them up in question. 

“This kid will be growing up in Algonquin Bay, Cardinal. That’s the first of  many.”

“Sure, but how do they even make them  this _small_?” 

“You tell me. This is child number two for you, remember?”

He hums against her neck.

His hand strokes gently over the firm curve of her belly, dislodging one of the thin straps of her flowy nightgown and it slides down her bicep. She holds his hand in place against her. 

“He likes your voice.” she murmurs, absentmindedly guiding his hand in soothing circles around her belly, “He was so restless until you spoke. Now he’s happy.”

_ So is Cardinal.  _

He worried in the beginning that her pregnancy would somehow eclipse Catherine’s or vice versa. He worried that he would be a better father to this child than he was to Kelly and she would feel cheated - or what if he was _worse_? He worried he would fall into a bout of grief for his wife over the many regrets and missed milestones he hadn’t even recalled until now. 

But the ease with which his partner moved with each ebb and flow of change helped him to do the same. If she could carry their child and remain level headed, he owed it to her to do the same. For the first time in God knows how long, he was letting go of the things he no longer had control of and instead spent his time focusing on the blessings he had right here in front of him, with Lise. With their son and his daughter. _His_ _ family._

He can feel Lise drop her head back to rest against his shoulder and her bump rises with the stretch of her body. His eyes drift over her curvaceous form, stirring a deep need in him.  She must feel his body responding to her because she hums in reply.

Her sexual appetite has been insatiable since she entered her second trimester and it’s one symptom neither of them have any issue with. 

His lips work slowly over her bare shoulder, teasing his teeth against her flesh as his fingertips trail the other strap down her arm, spreading goosebumps over her skin. She sighs, reaching back to slide her fingers through his hair, stretching up to kiss his mouth, softly.

"Bed." she mumbles

* * *

He pulls gently on the elasticated top half of her nightgown so that it slips easily over her bare breasts, and he shimmies the whole thing over the rest of her body until it pools at her feet, leaving her in just her underwear. 

Her breasts are full and heavy, so sensitive to the touch. Her nipples have slightly darkened and enlarged already and she loves having him touch them, suck on them until she begs him to stop, shuddering against the wet heat of his mouth as her nails claw at his back.

Now, she bows her head over her chest, looking down at her own body while she sweeps her fingertips lightly over her belly, stopping suddenly, as if listening to some inner conversation.

"Is he moving?" Cardinal murmurs

He’s felt even more attuned to his partner than usual throughout her pregnancy; he anticipates her needs with astounding accuracy and she loves him all the more for it.

"Mmm," she smiles warmly, taking his large hand in her small fingers, laying it firmly above the spot on her belly where the fluttering originated from.

“Feel?" she asks, raising her eyes to find his, both of them filled with wonder.

He smiles back at her, his eyes light up when he feels the soft kick of his child's foot under his fingertips. Their son seems just as eager to meet them as they are to meet him.

She reaches behind her to cup the back of his neck, turning, her mouth on his so needful and urgent, demanding his attention and stirring him to action with her strong desire for him.

"Are you sure?" 

He always wants to be mindful of her space and comfort. If she needs a break or isn’t feeling well; though her morning sickness ceased early on in her first trimester, he’s still just as careful. He can’t imagine what it must be like carrying another human being with needs and wants while also having needs and wants of your own.

She turns to fully face him, “I’m positive.” 

He kisses her deeply then.

“Let's take these off, then.” he mumbles against her mouth, running his thumbs around the back of her underwear, dipping them deeper when he reaches her hips and lowering them down over her thighs until she can step out of them herself, one hand braced on his shoulder for balance.

He watches her face and chest flush with pleasure when he slides one thick finger between her folds, finding her slick and aroused.

" _You’re so wet,_ " he husks, sliding his finger in and out, not entering, just working her up a little; watching her eyes close and her hands grip his biceps as she lets herself go with the sensation, she ruts her hips back and forth over his skillful, outstretched fingers, the graceful arc of her belly meeting and parting with the inner curve of his arm.

She begins plucking at the sleeve of his dress shirt and tugging at his belt, needing to feel the warmth of his skin against hers.

He helps her back onto the bed. "Lie on your side, Lise," he tells her.

He sheds his clothes and climbs onto the bed to lie beside her. They have favoured positions now, that  help her body instead of making it all the more difficult for her. He settles her down on the comforter, a pillow tucked under her bump for support, and spoons her from behind.

"Draw your knees up a little," he murmurs, waiting patiently until she curls her body in around her swollen belly. 

He rocks his hips against her ass, feeling his arousal grow strong. It’s silly but there’s just something about seeing the masculinity of his body wrapped around her soft, feminine one that gets him rock hard. He strokes soothing circles on her belly while she flexes her hips back against him, moaning when she feels his erection moving against her, teasingly.

" _Se sent bien, bébé. Ne t'arrête pas_.” she whispers, breaking the cocooning silence of their bedroom. 

He hears“arrête” which he’s sure means ‘stop’ and he does, abruptly. 

“What’s wrong?” she asks, self consciously 

“Didn’t you say stop?” 

“I said  _don’t_ stop,” he can hear her smile, “Hold on. _Are you learning french behind my back?”_

It makes him smirk since he’s quite literally behind her back.

“I, uh- I just catch certain words.. here and there.” 

“Do you know what  ‘ _j t’aime_ ’ means?”

“I do.”

“Bien.”

She reaches behind her to capture his length in her hand and runs her thumb over the soft, glistening swell of his sensitive tip.

“I’m ready.”

Cardinal lets out a long, controlled breath through his nose as he trails his fingers lightly down her belly to the crease between her hip and thigh, before dipping lower to stroke through her slick folds.

"You  _are_ ready," he agrees, removing his hand. He lifts her thigh slightly to open her up. She arches her back further. He takes his cock in hand and slowly pushes past her entrance.

It takes a couple of tries at this angle but they work together to perfect things and eventually his erection slides all the way home. She sheaths him with her extraordinary heat, letting out a long, shuddering sigh.

"Okay?" he checks, kissing her neck and shoulder, curling around her frame as they begin to move slowly together.

" _Very_.” she murmurs, quietly

Cardinal rocks his hips upwards into her and she pushes back against him, driving him deeper. He cups her breasts, feeling their increased weight in his palms and works each nipple lightly until she curses with a hiss of incoherent expletives, shuddering under his touch.

He holds her hips, arching up a little more, careful not to cause her any discomfort and thrusts into her gentle and shallow.  She whimpers, breathily, turning her head back, sweeping her tongue hotly into his mouth, stroking feverishly against his. 

“You’re so tight.” he murmurs against her skin, running his fingertips in a wide sweep over her belly that has her crying out and grinding against him with a tight, desperate hold and a high-pitched needy whine.

"Touch me?" she pants, a bead of sweat runs down between her breasts and her face is flushed with her controlled exertion and a deep-seated need for him.  _As if she needs to ask.._

Cardinal strokes her from behind, where they’rejoined and Lise curls her knees up as high as her bump will allow. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got it.“ 

He doesn’t want her pushing her body to a point of discomfort to get what she wants.

He reaches through his own legs to touch her with light, sure strokes, spreading arousal where their bodies meet making them moan in tandem. 

He can feel her need building, the tension and concentration it's taking to hold herself back and make the experience last.

"Honey, let go.” he whispers, brushing his lips against the nape of her neck, feathering her damp skin with his warm breath. "Let go, I will too." he promises, sincerely.

She does what he tells her to do. He strokes deep inside her with his length and his fingers trail lightly over her swollen clit, urging her over the edge. 

He feels it, the second she lets go - the broken rhythm when she jerks back against him, the clenching and then the tremors while she lets her orgasm break over her like a wave. He feels the rushing wet heat of her arousal increase around him and holds firmly to her hips as he spills his load inside of her – throbbing, thrusting, stopping, stilling, jerking and then aching. _Always_ aching for her. 

She drops her head back against his damp, heaving chest, letting out a quiet, satisfied sigh of breath. 

“I spent the whole day thinking about this.” she murmurs shyly, the smile in her voice makes his heart thump to its own special rhythm, one designed solely for her.

"Me too," he tells her, and it's the absolute truth. How could he not? 

He wraps her up in his arms, dwarfing her body with the scale of his and buries his nose in her hair, making her giggle.

"You’re going to be an _amazing_ mother, Lise.”

She grows quiet.

"I don’t know, John.. I hope so."

"You already are. You won’t be perfect, you’ll make mistakes; _a lot,_ but that’s the reality of being a parent. Lise, our boy loves you so much already.” He presses his palm to her belly reassuringly and as if by magic, their son presses back from the inside.

" _Cardinal_ ," she whispers quietly, in awe.

“See? He’s telling you himself.”

She runs her fingers up his arm, nails scratching lightly through the dark hairs.

"Je t'aime à la folie. I love you, madly. Both of you.”

They fall asleep that way, two warm palms pressed to the soft curve of her belly, cradling their son. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I *know* Lise doesn’t want children so this is a bit out of character. Not every woman wants to be a mother and there’s not a single thing wrong with that. I, myself am still very unsure of what I want down the road. I guess I just wonder if Lise did find herself pregnant whether she would change her mind. Anyways, if you aren’t into it or just didn’t like the vibe of this, I totally get it!!


	10. Wake Up Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lise can’t help herself sometimes..

Cardinal was a sound sleeper if ever there was one; dead to the world the moment his eyes slid shut. Lise had always been the opposite, rising with the sun, eager to begin her morning routines. In warmer weather, she would trudge past the thin white birch trees lining the Cardinal property with her yoga mat rolled under one arm, locating the perfect spot for stretching her body out, in the presence of mother nature herself. But on that very morning, it was the middle of winter and the ground outside was frozen solid, snow piled up like small mountains. She reluctantly slipped from her partners warm hold and watched as he huffed in his sleep at the inconvenience. She smirked, even in unconsciousness he could still be a grump.

She set up her space in the center of the living room, rearranging a bit of furniture here and there. The big picture window directly in front of her provided enough morning light and a perfect view of the chilly outdoors for her to still feel connected and at peace with her surroundings. After an hour or so of concentrated stretches and breath work, she set off to conquer the long overdue piles of laundry both she and Cardinal had been putting off for days. Neither one of them were enthusiastic about housework. By the time the final load was in the dryer she had decided to rejoin her husband. 

She softly padded back into their bedroom, immediately recognizing Cardinal was at half-mast, like most mornings. It was hard for her to turn down an opportunity such as this and her scheming mind quickly had her plucking at the drawstrings of his pyjama pants before she could even fully think through the act. Once his cock was freed from the flannel, she wrapped her fingers around him and began pumping slowly.

* * *

If anyone had asked her before she slept with her partner how much she thought about sex, she would have answered honestly with, ‘very little’. She had never had a lover who made her body  _yearn_ before. Of course she enjoyed getting off, but after the fact her brain quickly flitted back to more important matters, such as serial killers and missing persons..That wasn’t so much the case anymore. Cardinal had made her an insatiable lover. After their first time, she felt ravenous.

On difficult days, he could be rough and mercurial. Every inch of his body felt tense and keyed up. She offered up her own body in return as a conduit to his grief.

After close calls, ending with a bullet lodged in her vest, he was slow and emotional, touching her with such reverence it felt as if it may very well be their last evening spent together.

When jealousy struck, he would wait until they were behind closed doors to reclaim her, possessively marking every inch of her with his mouth. 

The first time she told him she loved him, he had hugged her body close to his, rocking into her with long and measured strokes, with his face buried in her hair. It was his way of sharing the sentiment, no words necessary. 

He asked her to marry him seconds before making her come. Her body writhed beneath his mouth as his tongue lapped maddeningly at her release. She had answered with a long drawn out ‘Yeessss!’

He would hand her the reins when she wanted them and pull them taut when she didn’t. They weren’t much for role playing but she would buy racy lingerie online from time to time and surprise him when he least expected it. One morning he had found her in the kitchen, flipping pancakes in a tiny, silky, lacy little black thing he had never seen on her before, and they had fucked right up against the fridge, rough and desperate. The pancakes burned but it was worth it. Later, over their respective bowls of cheerios, she chastised him for ripping the flimsy fabric but secretly she didn’t mind all that much. It gave her an excuse to find something new he might enjoy enough to ruin.. 

Basically, sex with John Cardinal had destroyed her, in the best ways possible.

* * *

She tied her hair back in a messy bun and leaned over him, pressing a wet kiss against the hot skin of his bare stomach, never pausing in her lazy strokes. As she kissed her way down past his belly button and the line of coarse dark hair, she could feel his body shudder beneath her, but still he never woke. Not even when she sucked a path up his shaft from hilt to tip. She smiled against him knowing he would be moody at the fact that he had missed the show.

He moaned when she pressed down over the head of his cock, letting it slide between her lips at a torturous pace. He was halfway down her throat when her nose met his pubic hair and she felt his fingers tangle in the loose knot of her hair. Her name fell from his lips, breathily as she pulled back up exposing his wet skin to the chilly morning air. 

_ ”Lise.” _

“Morning,” she replied quietly, before taking him back into her mouth, bobbing down on his length again .

She knew he was still in that hazy place between awake and dreaming. His words slurred, thick with sleep and rough from the long night. 

God, he tasted like sweat and woodsy body wash and just... _him_. 

She wrapped her hand around his base the next time she came up and paid close attention to the sensitive patch of skin on the underside of his cock. She licked and nibbled at the soft flesh, relishing in the way it made him stutter on an exhale. 

_”Li-se.” _

Her name came out as a hiccup, breaking in the middle and barely audible. He was trying not to buck up into her mouth as she took him in again, and she was aware how difficult she was making it for him.  The slide of her lips and the teasing way her tongue swirled had him choking her name out one more time and she lightly toyed at his balls. 

_ ”Lise.” _ he rasped, softly 

She sucked and pumped and twisted and licked and rolled and tasted until her name was the only word he could say, until it was just a string. Until he was chanting her name like a blessing and a curse.

She knew he was close then, and she worked him faster until the sticky, salty, thick ropes of his release met her tongue. She pulled away from him when he stopped pulsing and swallowed what was left in her mouth; something she had never been inclined to do with any of the men from her past. It was amazing the effects one person could have on another, changing them in the biggest and smallest ways.. 

Her hands are gentle and soft when she tucks him back into his pants.

“ _Hi_.” It's reverent, the way he speaks, a complete juxtaposition from the rough way he hauls her up the length of his body to kiss her with everything he has left.

“Bonjour.” She smiles against his lips and kisses him, soft and chaste. She loves the sensation of his scratchy beard against her chin. She loves the sensation of his scratchy beard _anywhere_ on her body.

“ _You. are. so. beautiful_.” he  mumbles against her mouth, voice still thick with sleep, before quickly flipping them. A giggle escapes the confines of her throat at his eagerness and she can’t help but watch and wait with anticipation as he slithers down the length of her torso.

The last thing she remembers hearing before seeing stars is the husky wash of her name over the damp fabric of her underwear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, *throws random smut out of nowhere*, this was stuck in my brain and it had to come out and yes, it’s sloppy but alas, here we are regardless..I also may be procrastinating starting the next chapter of By Night..


	11. Holiday Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, aeryn_sun gave me the Christmas bug with her recent fic so I dedicate this chapter to her and her lovely brain.

Strings of Christmas lights bathed the precinct in soft reds and greens, strips of garland decorated the door frames and wreathes hung in every window, turning the precinct into a festive cocoon for that years office Christmas party. Dyson had even rounded up a Christmas tree which stood proudly in the corner by the entrance. Instrumental holiday music filled the air and everyone seemed to be having a great time. 

Everyone except for Cardinal.

Lise took a sip from her eggnog, spiked with a bit of liqueur. She didn’t intend on getting drunk at her place of work, unlike practically every other coworker around her.

Lise had noticed Cardinal nursing a tumbler of whiskey all evening and he hardly seemed to be enjoying the party at all. She excused herself from the conversation she had been barely paying attention to and slipped away to the break room where her partner stood. He was staring off into the distance with tired eyes and hardly acknowledged her presence as she sidled up.

“Hey,” she greeted, quietly, leaning up against the counter beside him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” he replied, much too quickly and diverted his eyes down to his glass. “Nice to see McCleod’s finally letting his guard down.”

She glanced across the room at their uptight coworker, dressed head to toe in Santa gear, plastered and hitting on someone else’s date. She smirked and nudged Cardinal with her shoulder.

“It’s okay, you can admit you’re jealous.”

He traced the condensation on his glass with his thumb, the ghost of a smile lingered briefly before disappearing entirely.

“Talk to me.”

Cardinal’s eyes flickered up to meet hers, his brow creased at her words before straightening, a sigh breaching his lips. 

“I just - I’ve never been a big fan of Christmas and with Catherine gone, it’s not..” he trailed off, unable to find the words to continue.

She didn’t need to hear anymore in order to understand and she definitely didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by pushing any further. He opened his mouth to say more, but his eyes cut to the Christmas caroling officers at the tiny makeshift bar to their left, his courage dwindling.

“We can talk somewhere private, if you want?”

He stared at the hand she’d extended to him and chewed at the inside of his cheek, considering her offer. After a few seconds, she could feel his rough fingers curl around hers and she guided him through the crowd, their clasped hands loose but still together, and through the locked door leading down to the conference room. He released her hand once they got there and he curiously assessed their surroundings. She wondered if he was remembering the last time they were there, standing across from one another in the very same spot she had confronted him about Kyle Corbett. That moment felt like a lifetime ago now.

He wandered over to an old love seat someone had pushed up against the wall in what she guessed to be an attempt at storage. But she was hesitant to join him, not wanting to overstep when he was clearly going through something personal. She eventually relented and took a seat at the opposite end of the couch. 

“So..?” she prompted

She drew her legs onto the couch, curling them in close and balanced her head against her hand, her elbow propped atop the cushioning. Just then the corner of Cardinal’s lip twitched and she wasn’t entirely sure of the cause but she was happy to see it all the same.

He looked so soft in the dim lighting, with his hair styled just a bit fancier than his usual messy, ‘just climbed out of bed’ look. He wore a dark suit that complimented his long limbs and broad chest and the moment she had watched him enter the office earlier that evening, her body had reacted before her mind had a chance to. She wished she could lean in and kiss him now, fit snugly into his warm embrace... Christmas always elicited far too much wistful thinking from her. 

“Catherine loved Christmas. She always went crazy with the decorations..” his eyes were downcast, the fringe of his dark lashes kissed his cheeks. He was so handsome, even as his words split her heart with the realization.

“Now that it’s rolled around to that time of year, I just.. I don’t want to look at any of it but at the same time, I don’t want to ruin it all for Kelly.”

The _I’m sorry_ was already on the tip of her tongue, but she knew how little an apology like that meant. It was a knee jerk reaction anyone with a shred of empathy seemed to be equipped with and she hated it.

“I get it,” she offered softly and she did, in a different sort of way..

Lise had always loved Christmas; the festive spirit, the lights, the snow, the way everything just seemed..lighter and airier. But her parents had never shared the same feelings. They never bought a tree..they never decorated the house.. In fact, they worked through most of the holiday season, leaving her to her own devices. Lise would add a few small knickknacks to her bedroom, still wanting to feel that Christmas spirit. She hung a string of lights she’d found discarded on someone’s lawn above her bed, and bought a little Charlie Brown tree at one of the stands around the corner from their house. She celebrated on her own. It wasn’t like the movies. It was lonely.

She noticed the relief that her small words had brought Cardinal and she was sure he must have seen her face and knew the sincerity behind them. It seemed to eradicate some of the ever present weight from his shoulders. 

“You don’t have to stay.. I’m sure Dyson wouldn’t care if y-“

“No,” he interrupted with the beginnings of a gentle smile, “I want to.”

She unfurled her knees from the furniture to rise to her feet and held her hand out to him, tugging him up from the sofa and out the door. He made what sounded like an exaggerated, old man grunt and she laughed. His eyes no longer looked dull and muted beneath the layers of grief and she noticed the flecks of gold were alive and glistening amidst the swirls of blue. 

“Thank you,” he murmured

“Lets get back out there, and watch McCleod put the moves on that poor woman.” she said

He chuckled and she could feel herself beaming behind his back at the sound, following him up the stairs. But then he came to a sudden halt at the top step and she stumbled into him.

“What-”

All she had to do was follow his gaze, up to the little shrub of mistletoe hanging from the top of the entryway to figure out what had stopped him short. She had seen it when she first arrived, imagined standing beneath it with him but never actually entertained the possibility.

“Oh, we don’t - It’s-” her heart was pounding in her chest and she could feel her cheeks flushing a deep crimson.

“Mistletoe?” he finished, turning his back to the door to meet her gaze with arched brows. 

Lise climbed the last step to join him at the landing, her hand reached for the door, but his fingers caught her wrist. 

“We shouldn’t break tradition..” he murmured, his voice sounded huskier than usual.

_Did John Cardinal want to kiss her under the mistletoe?_

“Are you sure?” she whispered, deflecting, swallowing hard as his eyes fell to her lips.

Because he had just been talking about his dead wife and he’d had at least one drink that evening and maybe he wasn’t entirely serious..

“Yeah.” he replied, his hand was still coiled softly around her wrist, and she felt his thumb circle above the throb of her pulse. 

She gave in too easily to the gentle tug of his hand. 

“ _Cardin_ -“

The touch of his hand to her neck silenced her, steadying her even as her heart began to hammer and her lungs threatened to collapse as he leaned in, brushing the carefullest of kisses to her lips. But even the whisper of his kiss evoked a spark, starting a fire in her blood, and when she didn’t move, remained hovering there with her mouth so close, he cradled her face in his hands and kissed her the way she’d always imagined him to. Her body rose into his, the echo of a quiet groan, low and maddening, rang through her ears while she fused her lips to his, whimpering in response into his mouth. But he tore himself away all too soon, and pressed his back against the wall, lifting his hand to his mouth, dusting his fingertips along the swell of his lips and over his beard.

“I’m sorry, I-”

She knew this would happen. She should have seen it a mile away. It was too soon. He got spooked.

“It was just a mistletoe kiss,” She reminded him, mollifying him, painfully lying to them both. “Just a silly Christmas tradition.”

Every part of her wanted to deny it, the protest flared in her eyes, but eventually, he nodded, allowing her to spin the story a different way. 

“We should get back,” she murmured, but he tentatively breached the space between them to fix a strand of hair he had disrupted, the tips of his fingers grazed the heated plane of her cheek as he lowered his hand. She chewed on her bottom lip, shifting anxiously in front of him. Every bone in her body felt conflicted.

“I just- I need a little bit of time before I dive into anything.” He rasped, quietly.

She nodded, not exactly sure where the line of conversation was going, but dying to hear the rest.

“When the time comes.. I don’t know, maybe we could…talk?”

Her brow hitched, “About what..?”

His gaze was level with hers and his eyes flicked to her mouth and back up again.

“About meeting up under the mistletoe more often.

“I’d like that.” She smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this will tide you over until the next chapter of ‘By Night’ is finished!! I’m a Christmas fiend so even thinking about the holidays gives me the warm and fuzzies. Poor John and Lise🥺 Thankfully they’ve got each other...


	12. Ex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This most definitely is _not_ a short chapter, yet here we are.. 
> 
> I dedicate this little story to Canadian_nights, for giving me the ‘jealousy bug’! Go read her fic “Green Eyed Monster” right now! It’s _so lovely_. Truly. This won’t compare in the least so pleeeease lower your standards!!!

“Delorme, can I see you for a moment?"

Lise’s eyes are zeroed in on the clock in the corner of her computer screen, noting that there’s only five minutes left of her shift. _Five_. She fights back a sigh on the way to Dyson’s office.

Standing in front of the desk, she waits patiently, hands clasped in front of her.

Her DS got straight to the point with a seriousness Lise wasn’t used to. It’s obvious her superior has had a long and frustrating day, herself.

"It seems you have a fan, Detective."

 _What_?

“The officers down in Robbery are having a hard time getting some information from a suspect in one of their current investigations. The lead detective has asked for some assistance, from you. By name.”

Lise carefully masks her growing unease as general curiosity.

“May I ask who the lead detective is?”

She has a sense of who it _could_ be but she can’t be sure.

Dyson laces her fingers together, her attention squarely on the woman in front of her, watching carefully.

“Detective Delaurier is heading their efforts..." She says, noting the way Lise’s eyes widen slightly, her nostrils flaring. It’s just enough to be missed by most but not by a seasoned DS.

“I take it you’re familiar with him?"

“Mm,” Lise nods, “I worked with him on a case, six years ago in financial.”

Hedging her information, she holds back the exact nature of her prior history with the robbery detective for the moment.

“Okay, well.. since you two have previous experience working together,” Dyson’s tone suggests she’s suspect to bits and pieces of important information being purposefully withheld from her.

“I'm going to ask that you join them on this. Detective Delaurier has requested that you be assigned to help them with an undercover operation to obtain necessary information for their warrant.”

The sinking feeling in her stomach intensifies.

“Lise. Is there something I’m unaware of?”

“I was engaged to Benette Delaurier six years ago.”

“Oh..I see.” Dyson’s surprise is more than evident with her brows raised to her hairline and her mouth shaped in a small ‘O’, she stares at Lise with intrigue. Lise is far from an open book but _very_ few people were privy to her engagement to Benette and she was grateful for that since it had ended up being a short lived one.

“Lise, can you handle this?” The woman’s tone softened a great deal in genuine concern for her detective.

”Yes. Absolutely.”

_A little forced courage never hurt anyone.._

Lise attempts to get their conversation back on track, asking the question that’s been preying on her mind since she heard the word 'undercover'.

"When do they need me, and what is my cover?"

* * *

“John?” Lise calls out, her voice tight with frustration as she gets out of her car, slamming the door harder than necessary.

Her chest eases slightly when her eyes land on her partner chopping wood out by the shed.

“What’s wrong?” he replies, concern evident in his tone.

He watches her walk the curving front path of his property noting her tense gait and anxious demeanour before she’s even close enough to touch. He rests the handle of the axe over his shoulder.

“I got called in for an undercover op with robbery, five minutes before heading out." she huffs

Undercover ops were part of the job but it was unusual for robbery to request a helping hand from homicide. For some reason the thought of Lise being roped into another division's operation just... rankled him.

“They need me downtown and in place by seven.”

He watches her closely, sensing there’s a lot more to the story.

“I need to shower, but I-“ she swallows, “We should talk before I head out."

He holds her gaze, examining her anxious features.

“Okay.”

A man of few words.

He centres a piece of cedar on the chopping block in front of him, pulling the axe back over his head, before heaving it down, cleaving a perfect split. After taking a few more gentle hits to the crack, he separates the remaining wood into a small bundle.

Lise thinks he makes the perfect lumberjack, with his thick greying beard, broad shoulders, long limbs and _of course_ the token flannel sweater. She’s begun to notice his muscles toning out after only a few weeks into retirement. The atmosphere of the cabin and the woods surrounding it has been so good for him. He’s relaxed in a way she’s never seen him before and completely in his element. Chopping wood, building an ice shelter by the lake for fishing in the winter. He even made them a fire pit to sit around in the evenings, snuggled up together under the blankets, sipping wine. He’s happy. They both are. Being so active and bulking up a bit has given John a proper dose of confidence. Which Lise takes advantage of whenever the opportunity arises.

Her body has reacted to his change in appearance in a primal way.. all it takes is the sight of him hauling wood inside the cabin for her to feel that all too familiar pleasurable ache between her thighs.

In the present, her partner seems quieter than usual, and it gives her pause about telling him... everything. But they don’t lie to each other and she isn’t about to start now.

“I’ll see you inside?”

He nods, stopping to watch her walk away.

* * *

Lise is wrapped in a towel sitting at the edge of the bed, as she pulls her new outfit from the shopping bag at her feet. She doesn’t have the right “ _style_ ” for this evening’s _events_ so she was forced to make a pit stop on her way to Cardinal’s. She hesitantly holds up the short, tight black skirt, barely long enough to cover her ass. Tearing the price tag off she lays it on the bed beside her, next up is the top, which she examines critically with clenched teeth.

_Sitting there in the light of the bedroom, it looked a lot worse than it had in the shop._

With the scrap of soft material running between her fingers, she realizes that the top will barely cover her breasts and ribs, only a small strip of shiny gold, held together by a few ties that would leave her back entirely bare, as well as her stomach. Grimacing slightly, she knows that with an outfit like this, she'll have to forgo a bra for the evening.

* * *

Cardinal knocks lightly at the bedroom door and the sound kickstarts her heart into a frantic and frenzied rhythm. She opens it hesitantly, but before he has a chance to take in her outfit, or what little there is of it, she closes the distance between them, her arms snaking around his waist as she snuggles into his chest. Her cheek rests against the soft flannel sweater, he smells like pine and sweat and just.. Cardinal.

She hugs him tightly, relaxing only when he wraps his arms around her, the gentle press of his lips against the crown of her head, soothing her frazzled nerves. Holding each other, they stand there for several moments, his presence as solid and reassuring as ever.

“Let me see.”

Lise loosens her grip on him slightly, tilting her head back to meet his gaze. His face is calm, his eyes gentle and supportive.

She takes a few steps backwards, feeling more self conscious than she ever did as a teenager.

“Wow.”

His eyes are alight with wonder but there’s something else there too. She can’t read it.

He must sense her unease because he reassuringly slides his arms around her waist, fingers finding their way across the exposed skin of her back. She melts into his embrace, a soft sigh leaving her lips. The gentle pressure of his fingertips urge her towards the bed and Lise goes easily, letting him walk her over, his hand never leaving contact with her skin.

Sitting down, she shakes her head, dragging her fingers through her hair. She carelessly tosses her bag to the floor to make room for him next to her. Looking up, she meets his eyes again, her voice subdued.

“Delaurier called Dyson, just before I left.”

Just his name causes Cardinal’s brow to furrow and his body to tense up. His eyes narrow slightly in displeasure and she reaches out, lacing her fingers through his, her thumb caressing him as she explains. The nerves return in full force as she can see the flash of jealousy stab through his expression.

“Apparently, they are having trouble with an operation, and needed my assistance...”

"With a robbery case?" he asks, skeptically

“DS said that Delaurier asked for me by name because he’s ‘ _worked with me before_ ’...” she trails off with a grimace.

Her eyes drift downwards, staring at their clasped hands.

John swallows. He knows that working undercover is part of the job sometimes but he isn’t there anymore, working alongside her. And there was just something about the way Delaurier had ‘ _requested_ ’ her that set his teeth on edge.

Bennette Delaurier was a young Quebecois with a million-watt smile who looked like an actor playing dress up with a badge. He carried himself with an air of arrogant confidence, seemingly unshaken by nothing and no one. Cardinal had only ever crossed paths with Lise’s ex a handful of times, all of them pre-relationship. He didn’t like the guy then either. John tamps down the surge of jealousy sweeping through him and studies her face, listening to every detail as she explains.

“The suspect is a regular at a club downtown, they want us to go undercover there, see if we can get enough out of him when his guard is down to hold him and get the warrant.”

Her words hang in the air between them for a moment, before she raises her head, looking him in the eyes.

“It’s a strip club...” she sighs, her mouth twisting in distaste, she she continued, "I'm supposed to go in there as Delaurier’s ' _escort_ ', and then try to get close to the mark."

He grits his teeth at the images she’s painted for him. This job would require her to put herself in a vulnerable position, half-naked in the presence of her ex and god knows how many other scumbags.. Lise can take care of herself, he knows that but it’s still difficult for him to think about. He takes a slow, deep breath, holding it for several seconds, letting it out gradually. He looks at her and can see the same emotions visible in her eyes as well.

Her free hand rises to cup his cheek, the rasp of his beard coarse under her palm, keeping her eyes locked on his, Lise holds him there, searching his features, waiting for him. After a moment, he blinks, his focus returning to her fully. Slowly, she tilts her head and kisses him, working her lips across his, pouring everything she feels for him into it.

Lise breaks away briefly to speak, her accent thick with emotion.

“You know I wouldn’t have taken it if Dyson hadn’t pushed.”

“I know.”

“John, you and I..we’re _new_. We’ve only _just_.. started this- _us_. I don’t w-“

He shakes his head, cutting her off.

“Lise, it’s a _job_. I’m not worried. I trust you, I always have.”

Cardinal can feel the hard knot in his chest ease at his own words and he holds his partner close, losing himself in her.

He seals his lips against hers again as he kisses her. Lise slides her free hand up his arm, gripping his bicep tightly. Fingers digging in, she lets his need wash through her, taking it in and letting her own certainty flow back through their connection.

Keeping their lips together, she swings her leg over his thighs, so that she is snuggled right up against him in his lap. His hands slide down to her ass, leveraging her body even closer. Her fingers curl through the soft hair at the nape of his neck. With a soft sigh, Cardinal cups her cheek tenderly, a gentle swipe of his thumb across her cheekbone. Resting his forehead against hers, he lets the tips of their noses brush lightly as their lips part.

" _Stop_ _worrying_..." Cardinal whispers hoarsely. He can feel it emanating off of her.

Closing her eyes, she takes a moment to absorb the reality of his presence underneath her.

The clean scent of his hair filling her nose, her skin tingling softly with every little movement of his fingers against her. Drawing the sensations deeply into herself, she lets him ground her, winding _them_ tighter around her heart.

She’s startled out of her intense focus by the gentle yet demanding pressure of his fingers under her chin. Tipping her head back, she meets his challenging look. He wants her to say what she’s thinking. Her gaze locks with his, and she speaks, low and firm.

"I’m _happy_. What I had with Delaurier.. I didn’t want that life. Not with _him_.” Lise pauses, letting her words sink in.

She leans in close, her lips brushing his, kissing him, full of promise and hope. Smiling against his lips, she pulls back and watches the true meaning of her words settle around them. That the life she wants is with _him_. The crystal blue of his gentle eyes sparkles as he leans in for another kiss.

The two jump when the alarm of her phone goes off, shattering the silence in their intimate little bubble. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Lise reluctantly slides off his lap and stands, smoothing the barely-there skirt over her hips as she does so. Reaching down, she opens her bag and digs around inside for a moment, fishing the still-beeping phone out, she stabs at the screen with her thumb. Dismissing the alarm, Lise unceremoniously dumps it back into the bag and turns back around to face Cardinal, brows furrowed.

“I have to go...”

Holding her hand out to him, she helps him up. With her free hand, she scoops up her bag once more and walks slowly towards the door, reluctance seeping from every pore.

Almost there, she feels him tug on her hand, the gentle movement is enough to halt her. Using his grip to spin her around, he steps closer, the warmth of his presence soothing her, filling her senses even as her hand rises unbidden to rest directly over his heart.

Sliding his fingers free, he seeks her hip with unerring accuracy. The heat from his palm soaks into her skin, the thin fabric of her skirt no impediment at all. Lise tightens her fist in the soft material of his shirt bunching it between her fingers. His grip is firm as he pulls her close, spreading the breadth of his hand across her lower back. Tracing the curve of her spine with the tip of one fingernail, he swallows the small moan she lets out with his lips, devouring her mouth with expert skill.

Lise lets her eyelids drift half-shut, helpless as her partner maps a trail past the corner of her jaw, alternating wet, sucking kisses with the scrape of his teeth and beard over her skin as he marks his way down her neck.

Her breath is rapid and she hooks one leg around his hips grinding into him without thought, gasping as his hand slides from her back to her thigh. He dips under the hem of her skirt and fills his palm with the curve of her ass. His gravelly groan is loud in the quiet bedroom, as he yanks her hard against his body, stepping forward pressing her up against the door, the fingers of his free hand digging into her shoulder.

Sliding his hand up her neck, he weaves his fingers through her hair and she grips him tightly as he kisses her hard, fast, brutal.

Pinned in place, Lise hums as her body responds swiftly, heat licking through her stomach as she loses herself in the rising tide of sensations. Keeping their lips in contact, Cardinal traces the inside of her mouth with his tongue. Then he eases his hips away from hers and slides his hand from her backside, following the edge of her panties with the tips of his fingers.

Pressing them to her core through the thin material, he finds her already drenched, her desire soaking through as she grinds into his fingers, panting and mewling, seeking more friction.

Cardinal nips at her, pushing more firmly, his fingers parting her lips and bringing the damp fabric into contact with her clit. Jerking her hips, she gasps, one hand slipping between their bodies to grasp his, pressing, guiding. He lets her grind into his fingers for a moment, then breaks off the kiss to drag her bottom lip between his teeth. His voice thick with need, he husks,

“You’re so wet.”

She nods quickly, still bucking her hips for extra pressure, looking him full in the face, dark eyes hooded with lust.

“Because of you.”

Cardinal thrusts his fingers once, twice, then rolls his fingertips, sliding under the edge of her panties, dragging them through her wetness, stroking her lips.

Lise senses the moment when his mood shifts, the air seems to thicken around him as he returns her gaze, his eyes a maelstrom of heat and possessive pride. Watching her intently, he unwinds his fingers from her hair to wrap them gently around her throat.

“Remind him who your _partner_ is.”

Lise feels a jolt of desire strike her hard; he is barely restraining himself from giving in to his baser instincts. Her stomach clenches, knowing that this isn’t going to be the tender lovemaking she's used to.

Thrilled, not used to this side of Cardinal and also to surrendering control; she’s excited. She’s never been one to give in and let herself be claimed in that manner but with him, she’s ready and willing. Her body practically hums with the electricity flowing between them. She swallows hard when he gets down on his knees in front of her.

His fingers quickly find her lips, parting them and diving deep without warning. Her body clamps around him reflexively, his face presses up to her heat and inhales her scent.

Rolling her hips, Lise can feel her skirt bunch around her hips as he sucks her hard into his mouth, curling his fingers inside her, stroking before thrusting them rapidly into her core. The flood of sensations swamp her, her legs sag as she swallows again, needy and desperate, she lets out a keening whimper, her hands weave through his hair, gripping hard. Judging his moment to perfection, Cardinal stops just shy of where she needs him, holding her teetering on the edge.

Pulling his face away from her, he looks up the length of her body, his fingers still, buried inside exempt of one, as he traces a small circle against the slickness of her walls with the tip.

"Je suis...à vous-" she pants, desperately sucking air into her lungs, “- _fuck._ I’m _yours_.”

His low growl vibrates through her body in a wave of pleasure. Pressing her further, he licks her skin, tracing circles into the crease of her hip, the soft lace of her panties tickling the edge of his tongue.

He swallows, tasting the tang of her sweat mixed with the heady aroma of her arousal. Cardinal twists his fingers inside her, using the altered angle to press the pad of his thumb against the edge of her nub, the damp material of her underwear sliding over the bundle of nerves. The sudden stimulation shoots through her, and Lise curses in french, trying to contain the words threatening to spill from her lips.

"Merde..” she grinds out, unable to control the frantic gyration of her hips.

He pulls his fingers free of her heat, her whimper of loss, unmistakable. Her arousal runs down his wrist, he spreads her lips with his fingers, holding the edge of her panties in place, then runs the broad thickness of his tongue along her. Dipping into her entrance, he holds her open, exposed to the cool air as he methodically laps at every trace of her arousal. He pauses, looking up at her again, letting his fingers caress her slowly before gripping her hip, his thumb stroking the edge of her lips.

Frustrated, Lise gasps as he darts his head forward, teeth flashing as he nips at the delicate skin along her inner thigh.

She’s almost positive she can hear him mutter ‘ _mi_ _ne’_ before biting harder, sucking, her femoral artery pumping wildly between his teeth as his tongue laves at her skin. A wanton groan rips from her lips, her hips bucking into him wildly, she manages to force his name out.

"Fuck, _John_ -"

He slides two fingers into her heat, curling them as he works her, the scent of her arousal filling the air.

“ _Please._ " She whimpers, begging as her legs shake at the flood of sensations sweeping through her body.

Nudging her legs wider with his shoulders, he thrusts deeper, letting his thumb slide over her nub with each pass. Speeding up, he can feel her walls start to clench around his fingers, gripping tight as he slides into her core. Pausing, he draws small circles inside her as he speaks again, voice thick with need.

" _Tell me again_..." he devours her, the needy moan she lets out only spurs him onwards.

" _Mnmm_..” her head fall forwards as she looks down the length of her body, meeting his gaze as he laps at her.

“ _Only yours_..." She chokes out, driving her hands into his hair, tightening her fists almost to the point of pain. Her back presses hard against the wall, she lifts her leg and drapes it over his shoulder, opening herself further to him.

Digging her heel into his spine, she flexes her calf, urging him deeper. Possessive pride flaring inside him at her words, Cardinal lets his inner caveman rejoice. Sliding his fingers into her wet heat once more, he spreads her lips with the pad of his thumb and flicks the tip of his tongue over her clit, swirling and then drawing the sensitive flesh between his lips.

The warmth of his mouth spreads through her like liquid fire, sparks of pleasure shooting through her veins. She bucks her hips helplessly, grinding herself against his lips, the rasp of his beard on her inner thighs winding the coils of need tighter inside her.

“You are _so_ beautiful..” he trails, his voice husky with desire

He reaches around, sliding his hands over her ass, filling his hands as he works the lacy material between her curves. Pinning her in place, he tips his head back and runs the flat of his tongue along the length of her lips, parting them as he draws her wetness into his mouth, savouring the taste of her. He works his way over her slowly, lavishing every inch of her with attention. Looping his index finger around the bunched lace of her underwear, Cardinal tugs it upwards, letting the material slide between.

He lifts his hand in time to his suckling, nipping at the apex of her thigh, he soothes the tender flesh with his tongue, the vivid love-bite already visible even in the dim lighting. Mewling, keening, Lise throws her head back, unable to stay focused on the sight of his head between her legs, intent on drawing it out as long as she can.

Cardinal presses his face hard into her, his fingers wide as he spreads her cheeks, tongue circling her entrance before sweeping across her nub, the rough breadth dragging over her once, twice then pressing against her hard.

Nearly whiting out from the sheer intensity, Lise can feel the edge of her orgasm start to lick through her.

With her eyes scrunched tightly shut, her own breathing hoarse and rapid, she misses the sound of Cardinal’s belt hitting the floor, his pants slithering down his thighs, joined an instant later by his boxers. Standing, gripping his erection in one hand, he seals his lips to hers and kisses her, hard and fast. Teeth grating against each other, he slides his tongue past her lips as he ravages her mouth, his free hand sliding down her thigh.

She wraps her fingers around his hard, impressive length, pumping once, twice before hitching her leg around his waist. He assists her by using the back of his knuckles to push aside her soaked panties, brushing the head of his cock against her, coating it in her arousal before burying himself into her core in one smooth stroke.

Stretched, filled, Lise gasps at the sudden pressure.

 _“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”_ she mumbles, mindlessly

Grinding, frantic, she pushes off the ground with her other leg, to wrap herself securely around his waist, her ankles locking. Cupping his face, she kisses him back with a fervour that ratchets their desire higher, her tongue slipping between his lips, duelling with his own as she tastes her own essence, mixed with the lingering after-taste of the espresso he'd obviously been drinking earlier.

Her breath leaves her lungs in a rush as Cardinal responds, cupping her backside with both hands before he pulls almost entirely out of her, then slams back, his pelvis meeting hers with a wet slap. Hard and fast, he pounds up into her, the rhythmic impact exactly what she needs, the shock-waves from each thrust travelling through her entire body.

Breaking free of the brutal kiss, she tilts her head, her lips brushing the shell of his ear as she whispers to him, her voice dripping with sex.

“ _La tienne est la seule bite que je veux...”_ She draws his earlobe between her teeth and nips hard, repeating her words in english, “Yours is the only cock I want." Placing her lips against the corner of his jaw, she opens her mouth, sucking as she grazes her way down the side of his neck.

The predatory growl that slips from his mouth vibrates his throat, the sensation meeting her questing lips as she bites down firmly, her teeth sinking into the top of his shoulder.

Running her tongue over the trapped flesh, she purrs with satisfaction as he mimicks her movements, the slow series of bites working their way down her neck, his abs hunched, hips pumping steadily. Increasing his pace, he feels the tingling at the base of his spine that signals his rapidly approaching climax.

Leaning back, he uses the additional leverage to push deeper inside her core, marvelling at the way she grips him with her inner muscles, clenching in time to his thrusts. Raking his eyes down her body, he notes the way her too-short skirt bunches around her small hips, her sodden panties pushed aside by his erection, the lace edging, caressing him with each stroke, the hem of her shirt spilling free, glimpses of her sweat-slicked stomach peeking through.

He could clearly see the trail of tooth marks down her neck, and the reddening of her delicate flesh where his stubble had rubbed against her.

Watching his length sink between her lips, coated with her desire, he nearly loses it. His eyes black with lust, he meets her lidded gaze as her head falls back against the wall. Panting, her hands lock into place behind his head, she keeps their connection intact, the tremors building within her as his rhythm starts to falter.

Curling her fingers through his hair, nails raking his scalp, Lise fights to keep her eyes open as her orgasm rips through her, her walls clenching tightly around him, gripping him as she draws him as far into herself as she can. The guttural moan she lets out only spurs him on to new heights as he slams into her again and again, almost feral with need.

Her eyes roll back into her head, Lise flexes her biceps as she pulls him close with each rock of his hips, urging him on, faster, harder, deeper. Beyond conscious thought, she mutters thickly into his ear between thrusts.

" _Yes, yes, fuck, yesss..._ "

The spasms of her climax barely subside before they’re overtaken by her second. Lise bucks against him, gasping with each wet slap of their skin.

She keens, a high-pitched sound that echoes around the cabin’s walls as she shatters around him, her entire body tensing for an instant before going bonelessly limp as she feels the hot gush of his come inside her, scalding wave after wave he pours into her. His hips slow gradually, and he lets out a shaky breath, his legs quivering with the strain of his exertions in addition to holding her up. Blinking lethargically, he lets his head fall forward gently, resting his forehead against hers.

Still semi-hard inside her, Cardinal shifts to ease the burning in his thighs and Lise inhales sharply at the movement setting her walls pulsing around him once more.

The slow clench of her muscles trigger a small aftershock, she uses her grip around her partner's neck to drag him down for a kiss, slow and deep, but curiously tender after such a frantic, and primitive coupling only moments before.

Her soft moan of pleasure is swallowed by his lips gliding against hers, Lise rides out the wash of sensations, her hips still rolling reflexively against him. Eyes lidded, she lets out a shaky breath, her throat tender from all of the keening.

Relaxing her thighs, she slithers down the length of his body, feeling him slip free from her core. Curling her nails through the hair at the top of his neck, she leans against his chest, resting her ear above his heart. Tucked into his warmth, she feels her lips curve upwards in a shy, satisfied smile at the rapid beat of it, thrumming against her cheek.

Cardinal wraps his arms around her, one hand resting at the small of her back, the other splayed across the expanse of skin between her shoulder blades.

His breathing slowly evens out, he places his cheek against her hair and inhales the delicate scent of vanilla, now mixed with the tang of their sweat and the distinct aroma of sex.

Unable to contain the surge of affection that fills him, Cardinal strokes the back of his fingers down her cheek, cupping her jaw tenderly. Lowering his lips to hers, he kisses her softly, so content to just hold her as he wordlessly lets her know how he feels.

They’ve worked incredibly hard to get to where they are now and he loves her, deeper and more thoroughly than he ever thought possible. For her, words are barely sufficient to express her emotions.

They haven’t said those three little words yet but they didn’t have to.

It was obvious to anyone and everyone in close proximity to the two. They exuded pure adoration for one another. It was palpable. She felt a bone-deep happiness surge inside her every time she so much as thought of him. Neither of them had come right out and said it, but they'd already found their forever in each other.

Needing to speak, yet hating to break the moment, Cardinal lets his lips glide softly over hers once more before whispering,

“You _really_ have to go now.”

“Do I though?” she whines, sliding her arms around his waist

She hugs him tightly before stepping back, the sudden draft of cold air between them enough to send a brief chill across her skin. Finally summoning the energy to get moving, she takes another step backwards and drags her fingers through her hair, attempting to neaten her thoroughly-mussed locks. Giving up on a lost case, she decides that the spare brush in the dashboard of her car will have to sort that mess out.

Straightening her top, she runs her palms down her sides, still enjoying the pleasant ache low in her belly from their activities only moments ago. Shimmying her hips, she smooths her skirt back down, her hand darting underneath briefly to drag her panties down and off her legs.

Her fingers trace delicately across the sodden material, well aware of the fact that her own essence isn’t the only fluid staining the lacy underwear. She’s grateful that the flush in her cheeks from her recent orgasm hides her brief moment of embarrassment.

“Will you save me some dinner?” She asks, grabbing a clean pair of booty shorts from her dresser drawer. She refuses to wear a thong to this ‘ _excursion_ ’.

He nods, watching her ease the fabric up her lithe legs.

“I’ll wait for you. We can eat together.”

His voice is husky in the cool air, sated from just having had her so thoroughly. They both move simultaneously, arms snaking around each other as they kiss again, slow and sweet.

“Until then.” she whispers against his lips before slipping from his grasp

Crouching, she picks up her bag and stands, turning to shoot him one last heated look before leaving the room.

* * *

A pleased smile lights Lise’s face as she heads down town, her earlier nerves completely gone as she contemplates her eventual return to the cabin and to Cardinal. _Her partner._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is jealous Cardinal such a turn on??? I mean, any version of Cardinal is a turn on but I like the idea of him being somewhat possessive of Lise. Not in a toxic way.. Once again, as always, thank you for reading!!! 
> 
> (I should mention that Josh is non-existent in this world..)


	13. Delorme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cardinal contemplates his partner.

Cardinal leaned against the wall of the hospital’s corridor, restlessly lifting his hips off, waiting for his partner to show. He looked down at his phone for the hundredth time, checking his messages.  _ Where the hell was she? _

* * *

_ One hour earlier... _

All of the roadways were covered in hidden patches of black ice, making the drive to the hospital more treacherous than usual. When he rang Lise, Cardinal sent the call directly to to bluetooth, avoiding any distractions.

“Delorme!” she yelled into the phone

Cardinal winced at the volume of his partner’s unusually loud voice, blaring through the car’s speakers. 

“Are you out?”

“ _What_?”

_Christ_.

“Listen, I need you to meet me at ABGH,” Cardinal quickly briefed her on the little information he had been given on their new Jane Doe case.

Lise made a poor attempt at covering her phone before further raising her voice to an unknown third party.

“I have to go, I’m sorry!” pause, “I know, me too. Another time.” 

Cardinal felt himself growing irritated with her. _Could she not do this after they’d ended their call?_

“Are you still there?” she asked 

“Yeah. Are you good? You haven’t been drinking?” 

“Non.” 

“Just.. get here as soon as you can.”

“Yep. On my w-” 

He flipped his phone shut with unnecessary force. 

He really shouldn’t care what she did in her spare time. It wasn’t any of his business. But he _did_ care and maybe that was what bothered him the most. He couldn’t help but wonder what her plans for the evening would have consisted of, had he not gone and interrupted all of the fun...

* * *

Despite the closeness of their relationship and the many trials and tribulations they’d been through together, a large part of Lise Delorme remained a mystery to Cardinal.

The truth was, his partner and intrigue went hand in hand. It had been that way from the very moment he met her.

He liked to think himself a decent detective and figured reading his new partner, would be a breeze but when Dyson had introduced the two, he quickly realized this woman would be an enigma.

She was adept at finding a way beneath your skin in the most disconcerting manner.

It verged on off-putting. 

Those large dark eyes, examining him like some sort of scanning sensor... 

_ What was she looking for, anyways? _

Even when he challenged her, meeting her gaze head on, she never faltered. Never even flinched. 

But just as much as she rattled him, she intrigued him. He liked her instantly. 

To this day, there were still so many things he didn’t know about her. He’d never seen her with friends, he didn’t even know if she was seeing anyone. After Josh, he had just assumed she would remain single. _Why_ he had assumed that, he wasn’t entirely sure... She was a beautiful and intelligent young woman, talented beyond belief. Maybe it wasn’t so much of an assumption but rather a manifestation of sorts..

Where Cardinal knew so little of her, she seemed to know everything there was to know about him. He was as transparent as saran wrap, whether he liked it or not. _He didn’t like it one bit._

She met his daughter early on in their partnership and the two connected immediately. Kelly like to pop by the precinct for lunch and she would always stop to visit Lise. The two women would chat away like old friends. He prickled at the notion that his daughter might know more about her than he did. 

Later, when he was alone he would curse his infantile jealousy. 

Lise knew about Catherine too, despite his intentional silence. It wasn’t her fault. People in small towns have big mouths and a tendency to regale newcomers with tales of the past. The bigger the shock value, the better the story. It just so happened that his wife’s suicide was one of those stories.

Cardinal lost his wife two years before he started working with Delorme. She suffered with her mental health for years. He did everything he could for her but it was never enough. When the doctors cleared her to go back home, Kelly was ecstatic. Cardinal was worried. Two months later, the headlines would read: “Seasoned detective’s wife kills herself with husband’s service weapon.”

He didn’t like to talk about it and thankfully Lise had never broached the subject with him. He knew she never would. She would wait for him to come to her and maybe he would one day. But for now, that day remained far into the future. 

Cardinal really did try in the beginning, to peek beneath the surface of his partner’s dark waters; to sift through the murk and silt and find out why she was so guarded, why she worked someticulously to keep herself shrouded in secrecy. Cardinal figured that similar to his own past, eventually, over timeshe might feel confident enough to show her cards.

‘ _You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.’_

Despite Lise’s complicated nature, hers was an easy partnership. 

Sitting in the car with her for hours on end, never feeling the need to fill the empty silences with small talk was a blessing for a man like Cardinal. 

He may be older, he may have far more experience on the job and he may dwarf her petite frame with his tall stature but Lise was anything but small. She carried herself in a way that automatically gave her an air of seniority. To anyone on the outside, she held rank. He didn’t mind all that much. He liked to watch her work.

That’s not to say she was supercilious or arrogant. No, far from it. She simply knew her strengths and didn’t feel the need to dumb them down for anyone. He liked that about her. _He liked a lot of things about her._

* * *

Cardinal was jolted out of his reverie by the sound of clacking high heels on linoleum, growing closer and closer. He looked up from the small screen in front of him, anticipating his partner.

When she rounded the corner, he pushed himself off the wall only to freeze on the spot, his limbs malfunctioning at the sight of her.

The woman before him was not the Detective he was used to. Her strawberry blonde hair fell just past her shoulders, no bun or bobby pins to keep the strays in place. 

She wore a bit of light makeup that highlighted her milky white skin, but failed to cover the persistent freckles dotting the bridge of her nose. He was glad for that. 

She blushed under his lingering gaze, instantly giving her an intimate, flushed appearance. _Fuck, she was beautiful_. 

She wore a silkyblouse, with a black leather jacket and her legs were swathed in sinfully tight jeans, showcasing each perfect slope and curve of her lower half. The lengthy stilettos donning her feet slightly raised her stature but to her dismay she would always appear miniature standing next to him. 

He felt the butterflies in his stomach begin to reawaken, surprised they still existed after all this time. Looking at Lise Delorme, they felt more alive then ever before. 

“I was on a date.” 

_So she was _ _seeing someone then._

“Ahh,” he replied quietly, “Sorry.” 

“He spent ‘de whole time explaining how prosecution works.” she deadpanned 

Her accent was thick, the ‘T’s’ morphing into soft ‘D’s’ - something that usually only ever happened when her emotions ran high. 

It shouldn’t have made him feel as smug as it did, hearing that her date had been a bust. He made an effort to tamp it down.

“He was probably nervous.”

“Mm, would _you_ be?” 

“Would I be what?” 

“Nervous. If we were on a date.” 

‘ _If we were on a date, if we were on a date if we-’_ the sentence was stuck, like an off kilter record, looping over and over again in his mind, waiting for someone to set it right again. 

He looked down at his partner, his lips curving into a gentle smile. 

“I don’t know.. Maybe.” 

“Huh. We should find out sometime, no?” 

She tried to pull it off, teasing him without giving herself away, but it was an impossible feat. Her nose scrunched, and he watched her eyes curve into little half moons as a shy smile tugged at her lips. He felt the butterflies take flight, furiously batting their wings, celebrating their newfound freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly have no idea what this is but I was laying in bed overthinking everything about my life/future and needed a distraction before I spiralled so this is the product of that. I also love that scene of the two of them in the hallway and he literally can’t take his eyes off of her🥺❤️
> 
> Anyways, I sincerely apologize if this read like predictive texts strung together. I may still delete it later but for now, it shall remain. And thank you if you made it through! You’re a champ.


	14. My Place?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some random fluffy smut.

Cardinal was distracted by the way her mouth heatedly formed around the words ‘ _my place’_.

“When?”

“Tonight,” she said nonchalantly, leaning back in her chair.

He nodded, rising from his own to head for the conference room.

“Unless that doesn’t work for you, _Detective_?” she called out

He could feel his stomach tighten with desire. The use of his professional rank on her lips did something to both his body _and_ ego. She knew exactly what it had done to him.

“It works.” he replied casually over his shoulder.

* * *

He brought her a bottle of wine from his small collection, aged a few years and hopefully rich with flavor. He also bought her flowers which in retrospect seemed like a stupid idea and probably made him look like a fool, but he thought she deserved something beautiful. If anything, he hoped it would make her smile.

Cardinal knew that they were – _something._ The facets of their relationship were intimate and full of emotion on both of their parts but they had yet to properly discuss the category they fit into. For now, he didn’t mind. As long as he could hold her in his arms in the middle of the night, feel her body pressed tightly to his, sighing out his name in her sleep.. he couldn’t care less if they ever put a title to it.

He figured with every boundary they had already crossed, buying her flowers would be met with little to no resistance.

“Hi,” she greeted, breathlessly, opening her door wide for him

“Hi,” he echoed, smiling softly at the sight of her dressed down in leggings and an oversized t-shirt.

“For me?” she asked quietly when he handed her the bouquet. Her voice was laced with wonder, "They're beautiful, thank you."

He watched her burrow her nose into the assortment, inhaling the scent of wild roses and baby’s breath.

He smiled back at her, “You’re welcome.”

They headed upstairs to her kitchen where she rummaged around in the cupboards for a vase.

“And wine,” he added, producing the bottle of red, placing it carefully on countertop. She smirked, playfully.

“Trying to ply me with alcohol, Cardinal?”

“I have other ways of plying you, Delorme. You should know that by now.”

“Mm.”

The apples of her cheeks rounded and flushed as she acknowledged the innuendo.

“In the meantime.. can you grab a couple glasses from up there for me?”

He followed her gaze to the high cabinet above the stove and retrieved two decently sized wine glasses. He made quick work of filling both with generous amounts of the red liquid, handing one to her. She gestured for him to follow her to the living room, where they could both relax with their drinks.

They sipped their wine in comfortable silence until she broke it with her soft, lilting voice.

“What shall we do tonight?”

His partner appeared quite playful and flirtatious this evening, though she had been teasing him relentlessly throughout the day as well. He thoroughly enjoyed this lighter side of her and played along, pretending to genuinely ponder her question.

“We could watch TV?” she suggested

He nodded and subtly let his hand fall to her knee, his fingers wandering up to the inside of her thigh.

“Cards?”

“Oui, maybe order some food?”

“All good ideas.”

“Mhmm,” she murmured, setting her glass on the coffee table, stealing his as well. “I might have a better one.”

“Really?”

She slowly crawled into his lap, her body a familiar weight that fit so comfortably against his now. He smoothed his hand down her back, tracing the length of her spine through her t-shirt before edging the worn fabric up and over her head. He was delighted to find she wasn't wearing a bra and she flushed at the eager expression on his face.

She had invited him over a couple of times since that first night spent together, when the tension had reached a boiling point between the two, finally spilling over in a rush of tangled limbs and crashing mouths. He had taken her roughly and desperately against the kitchen counter – he could still remember the sound of her moans, pleading for more. _More_. Her body fell into a perfect and effortless dance with his, partners synced with every long and steady stroke. His need for her before that evening had been strong. Overpowering, even. But he hadn’t realized the true meaning of those words until he’d had her, moved inside of her warm, tight body.

He wasn’t a young man anymore but Lise seemed to reignite his youth. He put everything he had into their love making every time they came together. All he wanted was to make her feel good. To express the way he felt about her in a way he couldn’t with words.

Lise rocked her hips with force into his when he spent too much time lavishing her breasts. This wouldn’t be a slow, thoughtful coming together of lovers.

He growled quietly at her shift in pace, nipping at the tender skin behind her ear in response. He had unintentionally found this sweet spot of hers early on in their relationship. The sounds she’d made quickly exposed her weakness and he used it to his advantage whenever the opportunity arose. He revelled in the shudder he’d caused and the clench of her fingers at his shoulders tightened in response.

Cardinal shifted their position, lowering Lise carefully down to the cushions. She went willingly, and began removing her leggings while he shucked his t-shirt and unzipped his jeans but when he glanced back at her a moment later, he saw she was watching him, her fingers already between her legs, tracing lazy circles over herself. The sight caused a rush of blood to his already painfully hard erection, making the removal of his jeans now somewhat difficult. The length of his cock now strained against the denim.

He snatched her hand, pinning it above her head into the soft material of her sofa.

“Impatient,” he murmured, huskily

She smiled, pupils dilating like black ink spreading in a pool of water. He situated himself above her and she sighed, dragging the nails of her unrestrained hand down the tendons of his bare back.

“You were taking too long,”

He locked his gaze on her, intent on watching her face transform as he entered her, watched as her eyes slammed shut and her lips parted. She squeezed the hand still trapped under his, their fingers interlaced tightly. The heat of her velvet walls engulfed him.

“Okay?”

“ _Slower_ ,” she gasped as he stretched her

He obliged, maintaining a gentle cant, allowing her body to accommodate him

Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheek and he felt her short nails graze his beard, giving him the go ahead.

He withdrew, until he was almost entirely out of her only to slide back in, filling her to the hilt.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he exhaled shakily, “You feel so good.”

The first time Cardinal had kissed her, he knew it was something he would strive to do for the rest of his life. The taste of her had him desperately claiming her mouth at any opportune moment. Although usually she was the first to surge forward and steal his breath, inviting his tongue to play along with hers.

He beat her to it this time, ducking his head to suck her bottom lip into his mouth, tasting the wine still lingering on her tongue. She whimpered, undulating her hips harder into his.

“Mm - faster, John, _please_ -“

He knew by her shuddered breathlessness that she was close already and he quickened his pace, gritting his teeth to keep from coming before her. He pounded into her over and over.

Although they had only been doing this dance for a short period of time, Cardinal felt he already knew his partner’s body like the back of his hand. In tune with every clench and moan, he knew which way to twist his fingers or flick his tongue to finish her properly, leaving her breathless and sweating, panting to find words of praise. So he knew as he slipped his hand down her body, over her breast, past her hip, to the small of her back, that if he settled his palm and hauled her upwards without warning, crashing hips against hers that she would come with his name on her lips.

She released a high-pitched moan and threw her head back into the cushioning, clenching her inner muscles so tightly around him that his vision darkened and he couldn't bear to hold back any longer.

“John, _fuck_ \- don’t stop!” she cried

He wouldn’t dream of it.

He filled her with his arousal, collapsing but still conscious of his weight above her small body. She managed to embrace him through the white-hot spasms. It took a few minutes, but Cardinal eventually released the hand that had remained knotted with his above her head. He winced at how red her palm and knuckles were, how much pressure he had placed on her small bones; he curled her blanched fingers into a fist to help with circulation and skimmed his lips across her wrist. Hers lazily grazed the hollow of his throat in return and he looked down to see her eyes sated, gazing adoringly up at him. A sight he would never grow tired of.

Cardinal carefully slid out of her, and she whimpered quietly at the loss. He lifted to his knees, sitting back to give her space but she didn’t seem to want it. She gravitated back towards him, snuggling right into his lap, a perfect fit. His heart fluttered when she buried her face into the crook of his shoulder.

To his surprise during one of their first sleepovers, Cardinal learned that Lise Delorme is a cuddler. After this discovery, he made sure she knew his arms were available to her at any given time. When they watched movies, after they made love, even as he stood behind her while she cooked them dinner at the stove. Catherine had never been a touchy-feely type of person, so this form of affection was new to him and he truly loved every minute of it.

Cardinal tugged at the linen blanket lying along the back of the couch and draped it over their sweaty, naked bodies. He felt a shiver run through her and pulled her closer, resting his head against the crown of hers.

“Lets go to bed before you freeze to death.” he husked

He was met with a silence that dragged longer than usual. And then finally, 

“Are we dating?” she murmured quietly against his chest

Her warm breath against his damp skin sent a shiver throughout his own body.

“Is that- uh, something you would want?” he asked softly - nervously. 

She nodded.

“If you do.”

“Yeah.” he breathed, surprised by her confidence in their newfound relationship

“D’accord.”

She pulled back, to gaze into his eyes. He appreciated her vulnerability all for the sake of their relationship and he felt a great appreciation that she would make such a leap for him. For them. A shy smile crossed her face as he continued to stare at her in wonder. He had no idea how they had made it this far, after everything...with all the odds stacked against them, there they were, together...

He smoothed his fingertips over her swollen lips.

“Let me take you to bed.”

She nodded again, and that was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just sort of happened. I’m blocked in regards to ‘By Night’ so I’m not entirely sure when that little ditty will be updated but thank you for remaining patient with me! 
> 
> It seems like so many people are struggling these days, with mental health and financial stability and just the state of... everything. There is SO much uncertainty in the world. I know I am definitely one of those people! I had a rough therapy session yesterday so I needed something to take my mind off of my relentless demons! I’m sorry to any of you suffering with your own right now and just a reminder to you all, I’m always here if you need a listening ear! All my love, Xx


	15. A Cardinal Hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small bit of peaceful, middle of the night fluff.

Lise has a vivid imagination. 

Over the years, working at her partner’s side, she’d had the odd fantasy or two of their bodies somehow finding themselves tangled up in on another’s, predicaments that never seemed plausible but were desirable all the same. Though, out of all the positions she’d conjured up in her mind, she realized hugging him had never really been one of them.

Now, she can’t imagine a day passing by without one.

She loves his bear hugs the most. Those tight, intense ones that engulf her completely, the ones where he can’t seem to let her go. 

She savours those hugs during the quiet moments where time seems to stand still, a brief reprieve from their busy lives. 

Lise has always prided herself on being a strong and self-reliant woman, never the type to simper in need of protection. Of course she enjoyed physical comfort before Cardinal but never had she _desired _ it. Not the way she does now.

Being tugged against the soft wall of his chestwas comforting beyond belief. The way her forehead nudged perfectly into the base of his neck as his toned biceps and forearms folded closed around her, so protective and tender...

* * *

Lise padded down the stairs in his oversized t-shirt and socked feet, still feeling groggy from a fairly deep sleep. She had awoken to an empty bed and a body yearning for his solid warmth coiled around her.

Cardinal is a restless sleeper, prone to nightmares and breaking out into a cold sweat in the middle of the night. He hates waking her, instead choosing to carefully ease out from under her hold on him, retreating downstairs where he can pace with reckless abandon. 

She finds him there now, in the living room framed by the big picture window, bright silver moonlight shining down upon him like a beaming spotlight, drawing her nearer. 

She quietly steps into his space, her fingers trail softly over his shoulders in a wordless greeting, and he turns to wrap her in his arms, his broad, warm palm cradling her shoulder blade, the other pressing over her lower back where she's been aching all day. His heat finds the lingering traces of pain, quickly soothing it in a way only someone who knew every inch of her body like the back of their hand could.

She curls in closer, pressing her temple to his sternum where she can hear the reassuring steady thump of his heart. Her height puts her just below his chin, where his scruffy beard grazes the crown of her head, mussing up her hair. 

She loves how tall he is.

Despite their sizeable height difference causing them a few challenges here and there, it always ended up working out in her favour. Forced to stretch up on her tiptoes to reach his mouth, Cardinal, ever the gentleman, always catered to her short stature, meeting her halfway every time.

She especially loved when he lifted her effortlessly into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist, sealing their bodies tightly together.

Now, her fingers dig into the taut muscles of his back as she draws in his scent, a woodsy musk, peppermint and a lingering clean linen smell from their bedsheets.

Everything is in his hug; without words, he tells her that he’s missed her even when she was only just upstairs, a single floor separating them from one another. He tells her that he’s glad she's sought him out and how happy he is to have her there with him, how very much he loves her - she can feel it all in the encompassing span of his arms, the broad strength thrumming beneath his skin, and the tenderness with which he cradles her to him. 

A softness saved solely for his partner.

It’s warm and safe, a silent attentiveness, the utmost adoration; it is everything they have. It is everything they havealways had.

Lise never knew a hug could mean so much. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short lil thing. I love hugs. I miss hugs! I would die for a Cardinal hug...


	16. Warm Glow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another dose of FLUFF. The fluffiest fluff. Domestic fluff. Baby fluff. CUDDLE FLUFF. Too much fluff?

She had no idea what time it was, wasn’t even sure what woke her but when she'd rolled over, reaching for Cardinal, she'd found only wrinkled sheets. 

“John?”

Eventually she forced herself out of bed and shuffled out of their room, blindly making her way down the darkened hallway,  padding barefoot across the hardwood.

She entered the main room but was quickly stopped in her tracks by the sight that greeted her. All the lights were out, but the fireplace still flickered, low flames danced, casting a warm glow throughout the room. 

Instantly, her eyes welled with tears. Lise really hated how quickly her emotions seemed to be overwhelming her lately.

“ _Mes amours._ ” she whispered, touching her fingertips to her lips

Cardinal was stretched out on the sofa, his long legs were tangled up in the throw quilt at his feet which were still sticking out from underneath. Lise couldn’t help but smirk at the fact that he only had one sock on.

The couple had been a bit frazzled over the past few days, wanting to be present for each and every ‘first’, but they were finding it difficult to feel like they had a proper handle on anything when neither were getting much sleep. 

But now, Cardinal was snoring almost inaudibly, most definitely catching up on some of those lost hours. She could tell just how deeply asleep he was by the strands of unruly hair that seemed to stick up all over his head.

His palm was cradled protectively around the diapered bottom of their daughter sleeping atop his bare chest, the other rested at the baby's back, almost entirely dwarfing her tiny body. Their sweet girl was curled in on herself, knees and elbows drawn up beneath her. Lise stared at her tiny, beautiful, cherubic face; pursed rosebud lips, the faint flutter of dark eyelashes and a light smattering of freckles that brushed across her chubby cheeks. She got those from her mama, but the stubborn wisp of black hair sticking straight up at the back of her head was all her papa.

Lise was filled with a palpable yearning for them both; a need to be there, curled up with them in their little bubble.

That very bubble once, not all that long ago, housed only John and Lise and the fierce, tangible love that flowed between them. Over time, the two partners would happen upon the same conclusion: that there might just be enough space for someone else and without a doubt, more than enough love to share with them... 

Enter, Élodie Delorme. 

It had been Cardinal’s idea that their daughter take Lise’s last name. He thought it only made sense since his first child bore his, adding to his argument that there weren’t nearly enough ‘Delorme’s’ in this world, and she had cried. _Of course.._

Lise rounded the sofa, carefully climbing onto the cushion by John’s feet and wedged herself between his torso and the back of the couch, she nudged snugly up against the warmth of his bare skin.

He grunted in his sleep, didn’t even wake up, yet he opened his arm for her, so attuned to her presence that his body seemed to react on instinct. Banding it tightly around her back, his palm curved around her shoulder, tugging her higher, closer against his side until the length of her was pressed into him. She slid her legs between his like the final puzzle piece fitting into place.

“ _Baby_?” he murmured, his voice gravelly with sleep

Lise was unsure whether he was addressing her or their daughter but she soothed him anyways with a kiss, pressing her lips gently to the warm skin at the base of his throat.

” _Go back to sleep, chérie_.”

Élodie sighed and wiggled at the sound of her mother’s voice, a tiny whimper and huff escaping. Lise smiled. Their daughter already appeared to be taking on so many of her father’s traits; grumpy, even in sleep. 

She soothed her too with her hand over her back where Cardinal’s had been, reveling in the rapid rise and fall of her small body with each and every breath.  Lise was so proud of her little family. She felt after years and years of searching and longing, she’d finally found where she belonged.

Curled up in her partner’s arms, Lise’s eyes fell closed, and sleep claimed her once more.


	17. Running Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can I offer you some fluffy smut for your pre-Monday blues?

He catches her in the doorway of her bedroom, hands wrapping around her waist, pulling her up against his chest. He leans down to press his lips next to her ear.

“How am I supposed to work across from you today?”

She laughs, light and lilting, and his heart lifts at the sound. 

“Cardinal, you’ve worked across from me for years.”

“Mm, true -“ He trails off, dragging his tongue along the sharp line of her jaw, hands slipping down to toy with the hem of her robe.

“But we haven’t been doing  _ this _ for years.”

“John,” she huffs, her head rolling, giving him more access to the sensitive skin of her neck. 

“We’re going to be late...”

The sweet taste of her strawberry body wash reaches his tongue and he hums, lips and teeth working at her pulse point. 

“We won’t.” he murmurs, fingers slipping under the terry cloth robe, skimming over the warm skin of her thigh.

She turns to face him and his hands slide to her ass, his eyes darken when he finds her bare.

“I have to get changed... which is what I was doing before you ambushed me.”

He tries his best to suppress the smile, but the corner of his lip turns up.

“Is that what _this_ is?” He spreads his hands wide on her ass, flexing his fingers, yanking her hips into his. “An ambush?”

She presses a soft smile to the corner of his mouth. 

“Non,” she says, growing quiet “ _This_ is... surreal.”

Her voice is tinged with something verging on melancholic and it has him bringing his hands up to her face, cradling her cheeks in his palms. 

“Is it? I thought it was a long time coming.”

Her gaze drops, cheeks flushing and he dips his knees in order to seek out her darkened eyes.

“I know, but... John, we’ve only had this _one_ weekend together, just us.” she shakes her head in disbelief and he understands; it all happened in a bit of a whirlwind.

“I mean, three days ago we were partners and now, we’re going back to work as a- as...”

The silence stretches between them and he watches her carefully. 

“... A couple?” he offers up, hesitantly

She tugs her bottom lip tightly between her teeth and nods. 

“What if it doesn’t work?”

Usually it was Cardinal playing the anxious, ‘what-if’ game but truthfully,  he didn’t feel anything other than pure bliss, standing there with her in his arms. The long chain of events that had taken place over the past few years, had been anything but easy...but they made it. They were on the other side of it together. He didn’t want her to start doubting what they’d only just begun. He couldn’t bear it.

“We’ve always been a couple, Lise. Yeah, a few things have changed...” he looks at her, a mischievous glint in his eyes as his fingers toy with the tie keeping her robe closed tight. She sighs, leaning into him and he can already feel the tension draining from her limbs. Her body relaxes into him as he slides the fabric down her arms. 

“A few really _great_ things,” he continues, mumbling against the exposed skin, his beard grazing against her bare shoulder, “but  you and I are still the same.”

She gasps when his thumbs brushes over her nipples, her heavy breathing pushes her chest further into his touch. 

“We can’t be late.” She warns softly, her accent thick as ever with desire.

He pinches her nipple, rolling it between his thumb and index finger and she moans, his name caught somewhere in the back of her throat.

With a nip to her neck, Cardinal walks her backwards before gently pushing her down to the edge of the bed. She watches him with hooded eyes as he sinks down to his knees in front of her, the plush throw rug cushioning his tired joints. Leaning forward, he plants an open mouthed kiss to the hollow of her throat and drags his lips and tongue slowly down between the valley of her breasts. His hands roam her thighs as his mouth explores her breasts, his eyes remain locked on hers. Her fingers thread through his hair and she smiles, a small happy curve of acceptance.

“D’accord, I might like being your partner just a little bit more than before.”

“Only a little bit?” he raises his eyebrows, teasingly

Slowly, he begins to move down over the the slope of her stomach, nipping at the sharp jut of her hip. Lise leans back and braces her hands on the bed, her legs falling open in front of him.

_”A lot_.”

He looks up at her again, arousal lighting up his veins, setting fire to his bloodstream.  He wraps his hand around her right ankle, lifting her leg to hook it over his shoulder and repeats the process with her left, never breaking eye contact.

“I like being your partner too," he says, the timbre of his voice deep and husky with want. “A lot.”  He plants a hot kiss to her inner thigh,  “Especially now that I can do this...”

Leaning in, he drags his tongue over her, groaning as the sharp, rich flavour of her arousal hits his tongue. Her hips buck up into his touch and he reaches up, pressing a palm to the flat of her stomach. 

_ ”Shhh.” _

“Mmm- we don’t have time for this.” She moans out threading one hand through his hair, her head lolling back bonelessly as she rides his mouth.

“Oh,  fuck...” she whimpers, softly, “ _John.”_

He speeds up, working her over with his tongue and teeth and lips, the fingers of his free hand caressing her thigh as it quivers by his ear. The hand at her stomach slips up to cup her breast, his fingers roll her taut nipple in time with the flick and dip of his tongue.

“Should I stop-“ 

_ ”Pas à moins que vous ayez un souhait de mort _ !”

That was answer enough for him. 

Her hips lift off the bed as he sucks her clit into the warm cove of his mouth, rolling his tongue, his nose brushing hard against her pubic bone. 

“Mnm’gonna come.. .” 

He’s more than aware, can somehow taste the first wave of her orgasm before it even hits his lips and he groans when it does, his hips thrusting agonizingly into nothingness.

The fist in his hair tightens and he slows, gently reeling her back in.Slowly, Cardinal slips her legs from his shoulders as he rises. She kisses him deeply, her lips and tongue tasting the evidence of her arousal on his mouth. 

Wincing, he pushes up off the floor and she scoots back on the bed, their lips still connected as he crawls over her body, her hands grip his hips and she begins hastily unbuttoning his pants, pulling him down between her waiting thighs with insistence.

"I thought we had to go?" He pulls back, stares down into her face.

Her eyes are glazed with lust and something he hopes might be love and he can't help but smile at her.

“Traffic is bad today?” She offers, looking as innocent as ever, all the while rubbing him through his boxers.

Cardinal barks out a laugh, groaning as he collapses gently down onto her, twitching his hips. 

“In Algonquin Bay? Huh...”

She giggles. Yes, Lise Delorme giggles. It’s such a rare sound on her lips but one that fills his heart with something that feels _a lot_ like love. 

He smiles and the wrinkles around his eyes deepen.

“Maybe a four car pileup... who knows how long we’ll be...” 

He pushes back the short damp hairs at her temple, and holds her gaze. She’s the one person in the world who truly knows him, maybe even better than he knows himself... Easing into this new part of their relationship won’t be a walk in the park. He’s a difficult man to love, with more baggage than he cares to admit but, somehow, by the grace of god, that’s never seemed to deter her in the past. 

She watches him admiring the curve of her kiss-swollen lip and brushes them against his. His mouth then travels across her cheekbones, her forehead, her eyelids, the tenderness a stark contrast to the fervor of his previous ministrations.

She wraps her arms around his neck, curls her other leg to his hip, all her limbs seem to tighten around him. When she arches up into him, seeking what she wants, he acquiesces finally reaching down between them to free himself and without preamble, Cardinal enters her with ease. Her tight, white-hot walls pull him in further and they both moan at the feeling. 

_ Yeah, they were definitely going to be late... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so obsessed with fluff right now. Probably to fend off the angst that is also creeping at the forefront.. hmmm. I blame aeryn_sun (whom I’ve come to ADORE, thanks to this incredible little fandom) Thank you guys as always for reading my stuff. It’s surreal getting your incredibly kind comments. Maybe cheeseball but my therapist asked me to pick one good thing came of this past week and I said your reviews! <3


	18. Only You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two detectives close a difficult case and seek solace in one another.
> 
> (⚠️ TW: subject includes brief abuse - sexual/emotional. 
> 
> It will not be delved into with great detail nor for a long period of time. If this is a subject that may be triggering or uncomfortable for you, reader, please continue with caution or not at all. This is not a genre I visit often due to my own history with trauma so please know that in the rare event that I do go down this road, it will always be done with great care and an ever present recognition that this is a reality for far too many people around the world.)

Rough cases unfortunately were a common occurrence for the two detectives. The spectrum of trauma in their field of work was vast and constant but in the end, it was the ones that left them feeling hollow and hopelessly discouraged in humanity that forced them to seek out something necessary. Something quiet and slow from one another. On those occasions, they would move together in unspoken agreement; a night of deep kisses and gentle touches, making love to heal their raw, emotional abrasions.

One night in particular, they closed a case that would haunt them both for the rest of their careers; a case of an abducted twelve year old girl.

* * *

The child went missing from her backyard one chilly Autumn afternoon, the only trace she left behind, a single running shoe and a small amount of of blood in the grass nearby. Tests would later confirm the blood to be hers, with no other DNA found on site.

The two detectives knew from that moment on that the outcome, whatever it may be, would be less than ideal. Best case scenario, the girl would be found alive, inevitably suffering with PTSD and any number of possible injuries - to what extent they couldn’t even begin to question.

Worst case scenario? There were too many to consider...

Lise and John worked tirelessly on the case, day and night, staying at the precinct for such long periods of time, Dyson would be forced to send them home. And even then, when the two returned to her apartment or his, they would pick up where they had left off, only ever falling asleep from sheer exhaustion, usually collapsing against one another, surrounded by paperwork and crime scene photos.

Two weeks passed before they received a credible tip about a neighbour, three doors down from the family. They knew who he was from their canvassing, early on in the investigation. They had thoroughly interviewed anyone in close proximity to the girl’s property, seeking out any type of relationships or motives... any information that could help them, moving forward.

The young bachelor had slipped effortlessly under their radar.

He was friendly and forthright, helpful even, but not overly so. A few days after the child’s disappearance he offered to put together a block-wide search with others in the neighborhood and it was Cardinal who green-lit it. They would take any help they could get and it gave them an opportunity to examine those who participated.

No one suspected him of a single thing. Certainly nothing as sinister as what they would eventually find in his home; a catacomb like no other.

Once the full story was released to the public it was hard for anyone to fathom how something so horrific could happen in such a quiet, idyllic neighbourhood. The detectives knew better than to entertain such a naive notion, knowing all too well that evil could survive and thrive in any environment. It had no bias or preference.

The young bachelor had meticulously planned his every move, snatching the child from her yard in broad daylight, after growing accustomed to her daily routine. He knocked her unconscious with his fist and carried her down behind the property, through the trees where he was sure he would go unseen. He carried her to her final destination. A place where only nightmarish acts would occur.

He chained her up like a dog in his basement, treated her like one too, only ever feeding her things no human being would voluntarily consume. The autopsy would later reveal that she had been sexually abused on a daily basis.

He used her, until he’d had his fill. His final act of cruelty was that of suffocation, slowly strangling the life out of her with a homemade garrotte. The the girl was found to have remnants of his DNA beneath her fingernails, alluding to a struggle.

Depleted of life, energy and spirit the child had _still_ fought tooth and nail until her last dying breath.

In the end, it was John and Lise who sat the parents down at their kitchen table. Lise did everything she could to break the news to them gently, but there was no gentle way to explain to someone that their child’s life had been extinguished in the most heinous of ways.

The partners were then forced to watch the information settle across their features, the knowledge that they would never tuck their little girl into bed again, never send her off for her first day of seventh grade or watch her graduate with flying colours. They would never snap hundreds of photos of her on her wedding day, smiling and in love. They would never bear witness to their daughter becoming a mother herself.

It was nothing short of devastating.

The shock left them silent for only but a moment. The father abruptly fled the room without a single word spoken, snatching his keys on the way out, slamming the front door shut behind him. The mother collapsed shortly thereafter; Cardinal’s quick reflexes kept her from hitting the floor like a rag doll. She wailed into his chest and he held her, rocked her, stroked her hair. He apologized in such a hushed voice only Lise could hear the words. She heard him repeat them over and over again like a mantra. All she could do was stand there, helplessly, swiping furiously at the hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

It was neither the time nor the place for _her_ emotions. Not in the presence of a newly grieving mother.

* * *

The drive home to Cardinal’s apartment that evening was silent and dinner was eaten with sparse conversation. They stacked up the folders and photos strewn across his sofa and floor and decided to retire early. They showered together, their touches comforting, both content to be held and nothing more. It was only when they stepped out into the steam filled bathroom, that she broke.

It was the simplest thing that triggered her.

Cardinal wrapped a towel around his waist before quickly drawing another around her small frame, rubbing at her shoulders to keep her warm. It was something her mother had done for her as a child.

She started shaking and he pulled her against him, holding her close before the long racking sobs burst from her lungs like a dam breaking. She knew he had been anticipating a reaction like this from her, more than prepared for the flood.

Where her wounds bled openly for him see, he staunched the flow of his, preferring to deal with his demons on his own, in private. She was certain he would do just that after she fell asleep, later that night. He continued to hold her, so similar to how he had held the girl’s mother only hours ago, rocking her, stroking her wet hair, whispering soothing words against the crown of her head.

He wouldn’t tell her that everything would be okay, he knew better than that. They both did. He only told her how much he loved her, that he would take care of her, that she was safe with him, always.

When they finally fell into bed together, their lovemaking started slowly, hesitantly. Both internally feared it was selfish or wrong in some way to seek pleasure after witnessing something so horrific but they couldn’t seem to stop their lips from brushing, their hands from seeking. They stripped each other of the minimal clothes they wore to sleep in, every sensation heightened by their leisurely pace.

Every touch was deliberate, every kiss impregnated with meaning, every movement made with the sole intention of bringing the other gratification and ultimately, the brief forgetfulness that would follow.

They extended their usual foreplay, content to touch and tease for a while, their somber mood slowly dissipated as small smiles began to form and they both gave in, accepting the comfort that only the other could provide. Finally, Lise climbed on top of him, already slick and needy from his patient attentiveness.

Neither were in the mood to wait much longer. 

As she rose above him, he ran his hands over her curves, appreciating her figure with every brush of his fingers against the milky expanse of her skin. Eventually they settled upon her breasts, rolling and teasing her round, dusky nipples, igniting her senses with his touch.

She covered his hands with her own and laced their fingers together before lifting her body up and grinding herself back down upon his length, over and over, she set a heated pace that would finish the two of them quickly enough.

His heart surged as she gazed at him, drinking him in, connecting with him on a level that was all their own, one he couldn’t remember ever having reached with anyone that came before her.

She cupped his face in her hands, brushing the pads of her thumbs reverently beneath his eyelids, tracing the dark and sunken circles there, evidence of so many sleepless nights.

This woman – his partner – she was so special, so unlike any other. She was fierce and independent, intuitive and wise but she was also doting and warm-hearted, tender in a way that seemed to ease everyone in her presence. But who eased her? He made a point of fulfilling that role. He had never considered himself to be a tender person but for her, he was more than malleable.

He felt honored to share such intimacy with her, to share a bed with her, to share his _life_ with her.

Their bodies soon took over and he gripped her hips, thrusting up into her wet, pliable body. She went willingly, without second thought, riding him with ease. She threw her head back and her mouth opened slightly as she reveled in the sensation of his body working doggedly to push her over the edge.

Their breath and hearts quickened as they approached their respective climax, their bodies unable to withstand any more stimulation. That was when she unexpectedly lifted off of him.

He groaned at the loss, his cock wanting nothing but the warmth of her body back, to be deep inside of her again. But when he shifted, her hands grasped him firmly and she hovered over his body, so close he could feel the heat radiating from her skin.

She stroked his shaft, steadily.

The sounds that escaped him were raw and desperate and he felt he was on the brink of begging her for his release. Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t seem to speak, could only gasp at the sensation of her fingers bringing him to completion rather than her wetness.

She spoke then, breaking the silence in a quiet murmur. “Come for me. I want you to come _on_ me.”

It only took a few more strokes of her dexterous hands to send him over the edge, his seed spurting out across her belly as her fingers continued to caress him, perfectly coaxing the remainder of his arousal from his body, onto hers. He shuddered and convulsed under her command, until he felt depleted. He was panting, shakily sucking in air.

She freed his length as he grew soft and rose above him, rubbing his release into her skin. She dragged her fingers up past her breasts and sucked them into her mouth, her eyes never leaving his. He felt drunk, mesmerized by the way her pupils dilated the second she tasted him on her tongue.

He sat up then, thrusting his hand between her legs, his fingers slicking through her folds, deftly locating her clit like he had so many times before. They may have only been together half a year or so but he felt as if he already knew her body better than he knew his own. He rubbed and coaxed her to a similarly intense climax, swallowing her hoarse voice with his mouth, drawing the desperate keening noises from the depths of her throat with his lips and tongue.

He wrapped his arms around her torso and tugged her tightly to him, their sweat slicked skin still sticky from exertion and the remnants of his release still smeared across her belly. She ran her fingers through his damp hair, as her chest heaved heavily against his and he waited patiently for her breathing to even out, falling into sync with his own before speaking.

“I love you, Lise. So much.”

“I know _. Je t'aimerai toujours.”_


	19. Room 232

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it’s another fic from THAT night. I don’t think it’ll ever grow old for me.. the way she left that door wide open...🥵

It was the middle of the night and the wintry cold howled ominously outside the hotel window.

Her cool fingertips drifted across his heated skin, tentatively skating past the curve of his ribcage, coming to rest at his hip. It was dreamlike, having her curled up in his bed, her slender body pressed tightly against his. She settled comfortably beneath the duvet with a sweet, contented sigh, brushing her toes along his calves making his entire body shiver.

He knew it was a dream, it had to be because his partner -  his living, breathing partner , didn’t want him in that way. She had made that point abundantly clear...

* * *

_Earlier that evening... _

When Cardinal jolted awake from yet another one of his increasingly disturbing dreams, he quickly realized that he was all alone, only the faint imprint of Lise’s head remained on the pillow beside him. 

He rolled over without thinking, burying his face into the soft fabric, her flowery scent still lingered and he drew in a deep breath, soaking in the reminder of her presence. 

It wasn’t a dream.

He found himself aching for her already, something that didn’t surprise him all that much.. He felt that way sometimes when he was alone, driving home after a long day working at her side. Somehow all of those hours spent together still weren’t enough.

Cardinal got up, quickly snagging random garments strewn about the room and got dressed. After locking the door behind him heset off in search of his partner. 

It wasn’t long before he found her, out on the hotel’s terrace, alone, pulling deeply on a freshly lit cigarette. He smiled softly at the sight of her. 

Finding himself in bed without her hadn’t worried him, Lise was always dipping away from one place or another for a quick nicotine fix. But as his feet brought him closer to her, his confidence began to dwindle. 

She looked... confused and deep in thought.

Somewhere between the hotel room and where he currently stood, something had changed for her and he hadn’t the faintest idea what that something might be...

Instead of saying anything, he opted for comfortable silence and simply sat down next to her. She would tell him when she was ready and they would flush out the issue. Maybe he could convince to her to do so inside, in bed and out of the cold. 

Cardinal mostly just wanted to see her smile. He wanted her assurance that the choices they’d made together hadn’t been wrong; a mistake of some kind.

To him, a mistake was the _last_ thing making love to her had felt like.

He gently slipped the cigarette from her cool fingers and took a long drag on it. Never having smoked before, Cardinal had gravely underestimated the strength of nicotine and he spluttered briefly before casting it aside, making a face of revulsion. She cracked a small smile then, and chuckled softly, but not in the full bodied way he had come to know and love. 

When her eyes lifted to the inky night sky, he saw them shine with a heavy, raw emotion. 

_Had he hurt her somehow? Said the wrong thing? Touched her the wrong way?_

He nudged her with his shoulder, trying again to pull a response from her, anything, just some sort of explanation... but she remained silent, instead dropping her head to his chest and burrowing in beneath his chin.

She was looking for solace. Why? 

He didn’t ask, just held her close, feeling a lot less hopeful than he had ten minutes ago. 

They eventually made their way back through the hotel, and found themselves walking down that same long hallway they had mere hours ago, before their relationship had turned a very sharp and treacherous corner. 

The silence between them was no longer a comfort to Cardinal but a cause for worry. Even more so when they reached his room and she turned towards the door adjacent to his.

“I think I should sleep in my own bed.” she murmured softly, eyes downcast, “We need to get a good rest before the drive home tomorrow.”

It felt like a punch to the gut. 

“Goodnight.” she added quickly, before flashing her key card and slipping through the door. 

He stood there feeling more lost about their relationship than ever before. 

* * *

_Present_...

Tendrils of her perfume wafted around him as he focused on the warmth of her palm over his stomach, easing the tension in his limbs. Even in his dreams, he wanted to reel her in, tug her closer. He pressed her hand to his chest where his heart beat swiftly for her and it was as if the sensation caused her whole body to melt, relaxing against him, a heaviness lifted from her and she sighed tonelessly into his skin. 

He tried to live in the dream for as long as he possibly could, not being able to bear the idea of waking up without her draped over him, so soft and warm. The steady rise and fall of her chest lulled him into darkness, despite his futile resistance.

Cardinal woke again, not long after with the weight of her small hand balled into a tight fist directly above his heart and her icy toes poking into his calves. He was still drowsy but his body acted before his mind had a chance to, lifting his leg to create a small gap of space, for her to slide her feet between his shins. He folded the warmth of his limbs closed around her.

It was only a few short seconds later that it dawned on him... he hadn’t been dreaming at all. 

Lise must have found her way back into his bed in the middle of the night.  Almost immediately he felt himself engage in a battle of emotions. 

He still felt hurt about how she had locked him out, both literally and figuratively. It had hurt him to see her not want to acknowledge what was happening between them... what had _already_ happened.

Cardinal rationalized with himself, knowing full well how unfair it was of him to even feel that way, when he himself had done the very same thing to her. 

He had taken his sweet time figuring out what to do about his feelings for her, especially so over the past few months; hot and cold, here and there... 

Who was he kidding? He had left her hanging for _years_.

Playfully flirting with her while he was still a married man... eyeing her from across his desk, holding her gaze in a way that no platonic partner ever would... acting like a jealous boyfriend when any man showed the slightest bit of interest in her... 

He had pushed her away after Catherine’s death only to reel her back in, constantly taking out his mercurial emotions on her... he could go on and on.

So, did he have the right to feel upset that she might need a few _hours_ alone to process how she felt? Absolutely not. 

Truthfully, lying there with her body wrapped around him like a little koala bear, Cardinal found it hard to feel anything but hopeful.  There was still _a lot_ they had to talk about, but for now... this was more than enough for him.

His watch began to beep at an irritatingly high volume and he smashed at the sleep button to quiet the room.

_Shit_ , they had to go . 

If they weren’t back in Algonquin by noon, Dyson would have a coronary. But the thought of waking his partner when she looked so peaceful was torturous. 

Who knew if they would ever have another moment like this again? Once they checked out, he would lose the sense of security the hotel room had given him. There, inside those four walls he knew with certainty that she wanted him in one way or another, otherwise she wouldn’t have found her way under the covers with him in the middle of the night. 

But after he woke her, their relationship would once again morph into another big question mark. 

“ _ Lise _ .” he murmured softly, against her hair. 

She huffed in discontent, but didn’t wake up any further, so he tried again.

“Lise... we, uh, have to get up.” 

The fist above his heart unfurled and slid much lower than expected, her hand easily splaying out across his stomach. The feeling of her warm fingers pressing into his skin, brushing against the fine, dark trail of hair leading further down his body had him quickly growing hard. 

She hugged him closer, burrowing her head beneath his chin, murmuring unintelligible words. His heart rattled against his rib cage. 

Very early on in their partnership, Cardinal became aware that, somewhat like himself, Lise Delorme was anything but a morning person... discovering this sweet and cuddly side of her surprised him. 

She smelled like soap and clean linen and he wanted her even more now than he had last night, which didn’t seem humanly possible... 

* * *

_Even earlier that evening... _

The feeling of being of inside her was... literally breathtaking. 

Sex with his wife had, of course, been more than satisfying but slowly, over time, the heavy cocktail of medication she was prescribed had killed her sex drive and in turn stole the last shred of intimacy he still shared with his wife. 

His own sex drive became null and void after losing her but not because of pills. It turned out grief was just as effective. He had no desire to date anyone or share his bed or body. Even getting himself off felt like a chore some days.

Time passed by and his primal urges eventually returned with gusto, uncomfortably bombarding him at the strangest of times. Cardinal refused to acknowledge that those times were usually in the presence of one woman - his partner. His body began to reawaken, seemed to come alive just for her. The curve of her hips, the small swell of her breasts... he was mortified to admit that on multiple occasions he’d found himself zipping off to the men’s room at work, solely to readjust himself. The bulge in his pants unmistakable and more importantly undeniable. 

Cardinal had never been with someone so much younger than him -  _ double-digit’s younger_ _,_ and it turned out to be a very different experience than what he expected... Her body was taut and smooth with a youthfulness Cardinal’s had lost a while ago.

He stretched her slowly with short and shallow strokes. She  was _so_ tight he didn’t want to hurt her.

“I haven’t been with anyone since J-“ 

Her cheeks flushed a bright pink and she wouldn’t look him in the eyes. _Was she embarrassed?_

“Lise, you’re _perfect_.” he said pointedly

And she was. 

He kissed her lovingly, offered himself up to her with a willingness he hadn’t before.

John listened to her body, to every twitch and pulse until she easily sheathed him, fitting around him like her body was made for him. The moment he fully bottomed out inside of her with one long, thick stroke, they both took a moment to breathe, panting heatedly into the other’s mouth. 

Her eyes were shut and she grew very quiet. The shift in atmosphere caused his limbs to freeze.

“What’s wrong?” 

She shook her head. 

“Do you want to stop?”

He watched her eyes slowly open, watched as they shimmered with raw emotion.

“ _Non, don’t stop. It’s_...”

“Tell me.”

“I just... I just love you, that’s all.” 

It felt as if his heart had done a somersault inside his chest. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and he inhaled shakily. 

“You do?”

She laughed, abruptly through her tears at his surprised voice.

“Oui.”

He brushed the curve of her cheekbone with his thumb before leaning in to press his lips gently to hers, brief and tender. When he pulled back, her eyes sparkled and she spoke softly,

“John, I want to do this with you.”

He studied her gaze, wanting to make damn sure that she did before they went any further.

“Okay.”

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, memorizing the feeling of their bodies and the way they seemed to fit so perfectly together... eventually it became torturous and he slowly began rocking into her. The whimper that passed her lips when he moved with purpose made him painfully hard inside of her.

He knew the lilting sound of Lise’s laugh by heart, knew the sound of her halted breathing as tears rolled down her cheeks, he knew the grumbling noises she made when she was annoyed with him and the huffing sounds of her fury. But what he heard as he filled her to the hilt was a sound he longed to hear again and again for the rest of his life. 

After those first few pumps, the intimacy faded and was quickly replaced with something much more needy and desperate. They couldn’t get enough of each other and at the same time it was all verging on too much. They didn’t have the necessary restraint for lovemaking, so hungry for one another after dancing around the thick and heavy sexual tension that had settled around them over the years. They eventually climaxed, coming together at nearly the same time and it felt like everything else they did as partners; unparalleled. 

* * *

_Present _

It didn’t take him long to realize that Lise wasn’t wearing pyjamas beneath the covers, just the black lacy thong he had shimmied down her legs in a rush the previous evening and the matching bra which was _just_ thin enough that he could make out her hard rosy nipples straining against the light fabric. 

Cardinal inhaled deeply and stared up at the ceiling in a quiet prayer to the heavens above that he would have more moments like this one. A prayer that in the light of day, she wouldn’t leave him. That she would still want him in her life as much as he wanted her in his. The thought of waking every morning to her warm body curled up beside him was almost unfathomable.

Men like John Cardinal didn’t end up with women like Lise Delorme. The thought stung him more painfully than he cared to admit.

He reached down to tuck a wavy strawberry blonde lock behind her ear and heard her breathing shift.

“ _Mm’so warm._ ” she mumbled into his chest

He smiled, tightening his hold on her.

“We have to go.” he rasped

“ _Mnm-mm_.”

He brushed the rest of her hair back from her face and watched as one eye cracked open and then the other.

“Hi.” she murmured, sleepily

“Hey.” 

They gazed at one another for a long moment before he spoke.

”How did you even get in here?”

She immediately looked sheepish, like a child stuck with their hand in the cookie jar.

“I convinced housekeeping to unlock it for me...”

He shook his head in amusement. 

“And how did you do that, detective?”

”I told her my husband locked me out.”

His limbs tensed at the title; the word _husband_ on her lips, the idea that that could ever be him...

“What changed, Lise?” 

He feared her answer but needed to hear it for his own peace of mind.

“I got scared.”

Her eyes lingered on his lips as she spoke and it was distracting as hell.

He nodded, understanding all too well.

“And I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“ _Y’did_?”

Her accent was so thick in the morning and it made him want her even more.

“Yeah.”

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, triggering a yawn and he watched her nose scrunch, the tiny freckles across the bridge melding together as she did.

His stomach suddenly felt like it was housing a family of butterflies.

She shifted in his arms, so she could properly rest her head on the pillow next to him while they spoke. He tried to tamp down the yearning overtaking his senses.

“Do you want this? ...Us?” _Me?_ he added, silently to himself.

Her hand found his face, cupping the side of his cheek. He felt her thumb draw lazy circles against his beard and he fought the urge to nudge his face into her palm, like a contented kitten. 

“Last night was-“ She blushed before continuing, “Last night was  _incroyable_.”

“It wasn’t... just sex for me.” 

It was difficult to hide the vulnerability in his voice.

“There’s never been ‘ _just_ ’ anything with us, Cardinal.”

She looked at him then, those big, chocolate brown eyes and he felt himself slowly begin to melt.

“I want to be _yours_.” she whispered

“Can’t you see you already  are?”

She leaned in, gently claiming his lips in a quick but reverent kiss.

“I think you always have been.” he revealed, quietly 

“Je suis amoureux de toi depuis si longtemps.”

The moment her tongue met his, he felt her body move beneath his fingers, she rose to her knees and his hands instinctively bracketed her waist, holding her steady as she gracefully threw one leg over his hips, straddling him. She curled up close in his lap, grinding herself down onto his erection and he groaned low and gravelly, palming her ass in response.

Flexing his fingers, he rocked her body back and fourth against his hard-on through the layers of fabric until they were both panting.

She rose to her knees again allowing him to shimmy off his boxers and instead of doing the same with her own undergarments, she simply pulled her thong to the side, dragging another groan from him.

Her slick folds hovered maddeningly close above his impressive erection. So close, he could feel the heat of her. It took everything in him not to roughly tug her body down onto his cock himself. She reached behind her back, deftly freeing the clasps of her bra and made quick work of casting it aside. He immediately wrapped his lips around one of her rosy nipples and sucked gently at the hardened bud. 

“ _Mnmh_ _..._ ” 

She dropped her head back and shut her eyes, the vision of total bliss. He pulled back to admire her elegant figure, sliding his palm up her chest, between her breasts until his hand was splayed at the base of her throat his fingers wrapping gently around the length of her neck. He felt her fingers cover his. 

“I  want you so bad. ” she begged

He wasn’t sure if anyone had ever longed for him like that before, her raw desperation momentarily stroking his ego more than his heart. 

He pulled her hips lower so just the tip of his cock entered her, deciding to let her make the final move. She steadied herself with both hands at his shoulders before slowly sliding down onto him, her eyes never leaving his.

“ _Fuck_... ” he tried to breath evenly through his nose, but she was making it difficult 

“There’sno way I’m gonna last, Lise.” he admitted regrettably

She rested her forehead to his as she rocked slowly against him.

“ _You’re not supposed to last_.” she whispered “ _This is a quickie._ ” 

He smirked, winding his arms around in order to pull her closer and she kissed him deeply.

She fucked him mercilessly and they moaned in tandem with their lips mashed together. 

He knew she was close when her whimpers turned into loud keening. He palmed her ass lifting her cheeks so he could easily thrust up into her, hard and fast. Her forehead dropped to the crook of his shoulder and all he could hear was the slap of skin and muddled cursing in between moans. 

He pushed his body for as long as he could until it became impossible to hold off any longer. With one final deep thrust inside of her they came together, again, with the same passion and fervour as the first time. 

Even after she’d milked him dry, his body  still felt the need to thrust up into her and they lingered in the slow lazy, aftermath of it, tremors and all.

Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and his around her midsection. They held onto one another, no longer in a sexual way but in an ‘I’m desperately in love with you’ kind of way. 

“Do we have time for a shower?”

“I don’t think so.” 

She held his gaze, chewing on her swollen lip. 

“Fuck it.” he nipped at her neck and she squealed adorably as he carted her off to the bathroom, over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I’ve been working on this one on and off since the summer. I have no idea why it’s taken me so long to get it done! Also, I hope you all are staying safe <33 
> 
> FYI, I’m currently working on two fanvids, one very sad & centred on John, the other, very light and cute and cardelorme focused! If I don’t post a chapter of ‘By Night’ in this next week, that’s why!


	20. refraction, part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of everything in this one! Smut, fluff, angst... I can’t do it any other way.

She was on the rooftop of the precinct, watching the sun slowly descend behind the mountains ahead, the crystallized snow shimmering in the muted fluorescent rays when Cardinal slowly made his way up behind her. He was sure the sound of his boots crunching across the icy surface would alert her to his presence, but he made himself known anyways, in case she was too deep in thought— distracted just enough to possibly miss him.

His voice was low and husky, when he spoke,

“Beautiful...”

She slowly turned herself around to face him and nodded.

“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever slowed down enough to simply stop and watch the sun set...”

Her accent was thick with emotion and he smiled, sadly as he walked towards her.

She looked ethereal under the natural light. The setting sun casting its rays to her hair, making it look like a crown around her face. She looked like an angel, almost too good to be true. He couldn’t suppress his sudden exhale of amazement.

“I meant _you_ ,” he murmured, a white cloud of breath escaping him as he snaked his arm around her back, pulling her in.

She drew her arms up around his shoulders, running her short nails through the hair at the nape of his neck. He loved it when she did that.

“Mmh?” she asked, her hum sounding like a mixture of question and agreement.

She was wearing heeled boots so she was able to comfortably rest her head against him, her chin on his right shoulder, her cheek pressed to his neck. They stood there in silence, surrounded by the amazing light-show before them. She closed her eyes, breathed evenly.

After a minute or so, she asked, “How did you even know I was up here?”

He smiled against her, his lips twitching slightly.

“Well, I didn’t see you at your desk when I got here and then Kular showed up and filled me in on today and... everything that happened. I figured were either here or at the bottom of a bottle.”

“Mm..” She hummed in understanding.

“You used to sneak up here for a smoke in the old days, isn’t that right?”

She nodded. They were quiet again for another minute or so.

“I’m so sorry about the case, Lise.”

Her continued silence made him wonder if she would speak on it at all but then she did,

“ _I fucking had her_ , John."

He tightened his grasp around her slim waist.

“I just couldn’t get a clear shot... and he _knew_ it. When I finally had him in my sights... he slit her throat. And I tried- I _tried_ to keep her alive until the paramedics got there... but-“ her voice quavered as she trailed off and she squeezed her eyes shut tight. “ _Tabernac_...”

Cardinal exhaled, pressing his nose against her shoulder.

"You did what you could."

She shook her head, murmuring quietly into his neck “It wasn’t enough... John, I can’t wash her blood from underneath my fingernails.”

His heart broke for his partner. He had been in her shoes so many times over the duration of his career and it never got any easier.

He was, however, grateful to be back home so he could be there for her. He couldn’t believe how much he’d missed her, only having been gone a week and a half. He was visiting Kelly in Toronto while she had a bit of time off from school. Lise was in the middle of a big case so she couldn’t get away to join them. They talked on the phone every other night, but it just wasn’t the same.

Cardinal was thoroughly enjoying retirement but it was difficult no longer working at her side... He said goodbye to his partner every day, never knowing if it would be the last time he would see her again and that very thought kept him up most nights.

He had never intended to love someone as much as he loved her but these things, they just... _happen_.

She raised her head a bit, pressing her icy cheek against his and John secured his hold on her, protectively.

“I missed you,” she sighed out loud, pressing her lips to his bearded cheek, “So much.”

Her voice was like music to his ears, even with its hollow, melancholic tune.

The words he wanted to say got stuck in his throat momentarily and he was unable to speak. She was patient.

He held her tightly in his big arms— surrounding her, keeping her in place, keeping her safe.

“Let’s go home.” He finally whispered, his voice husky against the shell of her ear.

* * *

After John had unpacked and settled in, he decided to make them dinner—a hearty soup full of vegetables and fresh venison from his hunting trip with Jerry last month.

But Lise had yet to resurface from their bedroom.

She’d disappeared into the bathroom the moment they’d crossed the threshold and didn’t emerge for another hour or so after that. Finally, as he was dicing vegetables at the kitchen sink, he heard her pad into their bedroom, shedding whatever clothing she’d thrown on and climbed into their big bed, crawling underneath the covers, waiting for sleep to claim her.

He let her be, knowing this was how she coped when she lost someone.

They all had their ways of dealing with death— of sitting with the guilt of it, the knowledge that if you had done just _one_ thing differently, maybe that person would still be alive.

John reflected on his own ways as he ladled the soup into a ceramic bowl...

In the warmer weather he used to take his boat out on the lake— not even to fish, mostly just to sit there bobbing in the water, listening to the gentle sloshing against the oars. In the colder months sometimes he would go jogging but more often than not he would trek deep into the snowy woods behind his old property, where no one could hear him curse or cry. He chopped wood, endlessly, until his muscles ached and his body was sapped of any and all energy. Eventually he would drag himself home, praying Catherine was fast asleep.

Now that he was retired, those activities that were once wrought with pain and guilt were enjoyable once again. But seeing _her_ in pain... watching _her_ go through it all; it was almost worse somehow. Maybe because there was nothing he could do to siphon it from her.

Cardinal ate his dinner in silence, comfortable in the worn leather armchair by the fireplace with his faithful friend sprawled at his feet.

“ _Tucker_ ,”

The young golden retriever glanced up at him with innocent, but all too knowing eyes.

He was a rescue dog; Lise had picked him out, her heart melting the moment she saw him all curled up in the corner of his cage attempting to hide himself from prying eyes. Both detectives seemed to understand his particular pain and they just... _knew_ he was the one.

Once he understood that he was safe in their home and in their lives, it didn’t take their canine companion long to trust them and they quickly realized just how intelligent a creature he truly was. Cardinal was certain some days he could see a human being behind those glassy amber eyes.

“Go keep her company, buddy.” He said quietly.

The dog stretched out lazily in front of the fire and took one last longing glance at Cardinal’s bowl of soup before trotting off to the bedroom, nails _click-clacking_ softly against the hard oak floor. John could just barely make out the subtle sound of the mattress dipping in the next room, the bed springs creaking as Tucker settled in.

Good boy, he thought. _Lucky_ boy...

Cardinal spent the rest of the evening tidying up; doing the dishes, a bit of leftover laundry from his trip and even carted in some extra firewood from the shed out back just in case they got any more snow overnight.

Around 11PM he headed to bed, quietly pushing the door to their room open. There, he saw the outline of his partner’s sleeping form—on _his_ side of the bed and he smiled, softly, gazing at her peaceful face pressed against the pillowcase.

Tucker had moved to the rug and he glanced up at Cardinal’s entrance. John knelt to gently scratch behind the dog’s ear, quietly thanking him for looking after their girl.

And then he got undressed, carefully sliding in behind Lise, wrapping an arm around her waist, and tugging her gently into the curve of his body. He could feel her relax into him, her chest continuing to rise and fall, uninterrupted by his movements and he eventually allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by his partner’s even breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely won’t be pumping out chapters like I was last year because... life. I know you guys get it. But I’ll still be writing! I’m trying to wrap up ‘By Night’ and even though I currently have two wip’s, I started another one in November, so that’ll be making an appearance sometime soon as well. I hope everyone’s staying safe and healthy and I just wanna say how pleased I am that our little fandom is still chugging along!!


	21. refraction, part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a smutty/fluffy/angsty finale for this two-parter...

It was early in the morning when she finally began to stir, the feeling of warm hands moving against her bare skin encasing her in a sense of familiar comfort. Through the haze of sleep she relished in his strong fingers caressing her hip with slow strokes and she tentatively breathed in—a move that easily caught his attention. His hold on her tightened, bringing them even closer together.

“Morning,” he murmured, his warm breath against her neck causing her skin to erupt into cold shivers.

They were snuggled up together, with Cardinal spooning her small frame and it was in that moment that she realized just how much she had missed the total sense of security his presence brought her...

He brushed back a few stray locks of hair at the nape of her neck, replacing them with his mouth, planting open, hot kisses there, moving his lips to her ear.

Another shiver ran through her and she hummed, slightly. The corner of his mouth turned up and he bit her earlobe gently, earning a sharp intake of breath.

“Do you want me to let you sleep?” he asked, huskily, moving his hand from her hip slowly up to her breast, palming the soft mound of flesh with his hand, making her shiver again. She shook her head against him with fervour and he moved his fingers, gently massaging her now hardened nipple.

She moaned when he pinched the soft pink bud. Kissing her neck again, he let his tongue dart out and swirl against her skin. Her small, sleepy moans grew louder as he continued to massage her breast. A moment later he paused briefly in his ministrations.

“I missed this,”

"Yea?" came the breathy voice of his partner.

She still hadn’t even opened her eyes yet but she was clearly quite aroused, allowing him to wake her up; to make her feel good... to help her forget...

“Mhm...” he answered back, slowly pressing kisses to her neck and shoulder.

She spoke quietly as he caressed her other breast,

“Our bed’s too big without you."

He knew what she meant. Waking up in a bed that wasn’t theirs, without Lise curled into his side for a whole week had been lonely beyond belief. Just hearing her say the words ‘our bed’ made his heart fill with warmth.

Both of his arms snuck around her, his fingers playing gently with her breasts, making her arch against him and whimper something that sounded a lot like ‘ _cheri_ ’ but he couldn’t be sure.

She turned her head, _finally_ opening her darkened eyes and he met her gaze,

“ _Hey,_ ” He said, pressing his smile to hers with a tentative, lazy kiss.

" _M’bonjour..._ " she mumbled between the soft touches.

After a minute or so, he switched up the pace, sliding his tongue between her open lips. The atmosphere around them seemed to crackle with a drowsy sort of sexual tension.

“ _Mmm, let’s stay in bed all day_.” he breathlessly husked when they broke from each other for a moment.

“ _Hmm_ ,” she pretended to think hard on his proposition and he wondered if she knew just how adorable she was like this—so at ease, playful and content. “ _D’accord_...“

And then his mouth was on hers again. One of his hands abandoned her breast to slowly snake its way downwards. His index finger circled her belly button and she arched as he caught her moan in their kiss.

“ _John_ ,” she huffed, "Don't tease,"

He stopped circling her belly and moved his hand downwards.

“I’m not teasing,” he murmured against her lips, his voice still gravelly with sleep, “Just appreciating.”

She let out a sigh when he parted her legs and slid his hands around her thigh, bringing her leg up and bending it until her foot was placed behind his legs—opening her up for him. He slowly caressed her thigh, sliding his calloused hand back further, inching closer to where she wanted him most.

With a torturously slow pace, he cupped her, covering her pulsing center with his palm. She whimpered against him, his movements making her gasp and arch, trapping his erection between their bodies. He claimed her lips again, swallowing her protests and whimpers.

One hand worked her breasts while the other drove her crazy, fingers working in a slow, but determined speed against her. She couldn’t help herself, she ground back against him.

" _Baby_ , _please_ ," her voice was low, full of arousal and want, " _Mmmh_ ," she breathed out when he hit _that_ spot again, sliding two long, thick fingers inside of her.

“ _What? Tell me what you want...”_ he kissed her cheek, grazing his beard across her warm skin. Of course, he already knew what she wanted but he liked to hear her say those words aloud... remind him that this wasn’t all just some long and drawn out fantasy concocted by a lonely old man. 

" _Mmh’merde_ ," she couldn’t seem to get out any of the words she desperately wanted to and he smiled at her sweet frustration. “I just want... _mmnm_ ... I want _you_ ," she finally got out, locking her right hand behind his head, bringing his mouth down to hers.

His heart suddenly felt both light and heavy with love. He had never been so over the moon for someone in his life and the sheer gravity of it overwhelmed him sometimes.

He broke the kiss when he propped himself up, positioning himself against her entrance. He didn’t move though— instead, he paused to look at her.

_Her_. Lise. This beautiful woman in his bed, in his arms... she was so open with him —in every sense of the word. She trusted him with her heart.

Just then, she opened her eyes, her dark brown irises full of lust and want. The hand at his neck slowly caressed the short hairs there causing him to shiver. All logical thought left him as he slowly pushed inside of her.

They moaned together as he filled her so completely.

He gave her a second, allowing her body to adjust to him, knowing she liked to take a moment where both of them remained still, unmoving—where they could revel in the feel of each other.

Breathing in and out, he brushed her side with his free hand drawing lazy circles on her stomach with his fingertips before moving downwards again. He kissed her neck as he started moving inside of her.

“ _Fuck_ , _you feel good... tight.”_

“ _Oh, god.._. _John_...don’t stop...”

He had absolutely no intentions of stopping.

She adjusted to his slow rhythm and started to move with him, her ass gathering friction against his front. He slid his fingers between her slick folds and she moaned out loud—something filthy in french.

As she grew louder, he could sense her cresting release and could no longer manage a slow pace, not when she was now the one dictating the speed...

He hurried his movements, his mouth crashing into hers in a deep, wet kiss. Their lips and tongues met, messily and when they broke to breathe he whispered words of praise and adoration; they came out jumbled but he knew she understood.

She didn’t answer—couldn’t—the words died in her throat, smothered by pleasure. All she could do was breathe and let loose the sounds he was causing her to make. His fingers matched the pace of his cock inside her perfectly. She felt the heat pulsate all over her body and raked her nails against his neck, holding on to him. Her other hand found his palm at her hip and she joined her fingers with his.

He sped up, their bodies slapping in a hurried sort of abandon. She could feel the first wave of her orgasm hit and pulled his face down to her, opening her mouth, kissing him roughly.

She shuddered and jerked against him as the pleasure hit her in full force. No words escaped— he swallowed them whole.

He continued to thrust into her, blindly as he felt her walls grip him like a iron fist and he had no other choice than to follow her, coming inside her, filling her, seeing stars as he groaned out a shuddering breath against her mouth.

It took a while for their breathing to return to normal. Still joined and too lazy to move, he slid his palm soothingly up and down her abdomen. She responded to his touch with a quiet, satiated hum. He pulled her more comfortably against him, wanting to feel her slick skin against his. To feel her surround him. It was only then that he noticed the tears trickling down her rosy cheeks.

"Hey, what’s wrong? Shhh, c’mere.”

John figured with the time apart and then her case going south, Lise was clearly overwhelmed and overworked. He rarely saw his partner cry though and it was beginning to concern him...

“John, I had a miscarriage.”

The words rammed into him with an unexpected and heavy impact.

“You— _you what?_ ”

She turned slowly in his arms until their noses were practically touching, their eyes locked on one another’s. The pain he saw behind her darkened gaze seemed insurmountable and he could only imagine the shock and concern she saw behind his own.

“I didn’t know...” she whispered, “I felt... _off_ after the raid on Friday... started cramping and then bleeding—a lot, so I left work and went to the clinic.”

“Wait, Lise—slow down.”

His large hands came up to frame her face and her gaze dropped, another fat tear escaping, rolling down the heated ridge of her cheek. He swiped it away with the pad of his thumb.

“ _Why didn’t you tell me?_ ”

“I just... I didn’t know what was happening until I got there and they examined me. They told me about the baby as if I already knew that I was—“ she exhaled, shakily. “I must have looked _so_ clueless, sitting there in that stupid gown with my mouth hanging open.”

“But... you’re _okay_? _Lise, we shouldn’t have just had- I was rough with you... I didn’t kn-_ “

“No, no, the bleeding stopped after I left the clinic; physically, I’m fine. But I just— I’m just so sorry that I lost our baby.”

A great sob seemed to wrack her chest and then she broke in his arms, crying and shaking uncontrollably. Cardinal was still in shock but his arms instinctively wound around her.

_This wasn’t her fault... she had to know that...Right?_

His voice was gruff with emotion when he spoke against the crown of her head.

“Honey, you have _nothing_ to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”

She shook her head instantly in disagreement, “I was too worked up over the case, it was all I could think about... I wasn’t eating properly, I had wine, I-“

“ _It’s not your fault._ ” He cut her off, his voice strong and adamant. He wouldn’t allow her to carry such a heavy and helpless burden.

He had no idea if this pregnancy was something she even wanted. He knew with Josh it had been a deal breaker. But she’d told Cardinal herself that she didn’t want that life...

Her eyes studied his, it almost felt as if she was looking for something.

“Is—is that... would that be something _you_ might want?”

”Would _you_?”

She was deflecting.

“Lise, what I want...” He took a deep breath, wanting to get this out right. Cardinal wasn’t skilled in the art of conversing but he always made an effort when it came to Lise.

“What I want,” he started again with more confidence, “is a life with _you_. If you want to have a baby... I’m ready for round two right now-“

She choked out a laugh and the sound reassured him.

“But if you _don’t_ , thats okay too. We’ll just have to be more careful, that’s all.”

She stared into his eyes, her dark orbs full with unshed tears.

“ _Je t'aime, mon âme sœur._ ”

And then she hugged him tightly, burying her face into the crook of his shoulder and he worked hard to suppress his own overflowing emotions.

“I love _you_. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was suuuper cheeseball and I was unsure about the pregnancy bit at the end... but Lise was fraying and it needed to be about more than just the case. Plus, I just love the idea of Cardinal reassuring her that if that isn’t the life she wants, she doesn’t need to worry about that being a deal breaker for them like it was for Josh.


	22. Valentine’s Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, the title speaks for itself I think! It’s February 14th, so you know what that means... 
> 
> Guys... this is just another shameless ‘same bed’ story. Once aeryn_sun and I start bouncing ideas off of one another, it’s reeeally hard to stop... So, this one’s for her! (And all the other lonely heart’s out there❤️)

They were on their way home from an autopsy in Toronto when Lise first noticed the tiny crystalline flakes landing softly against the windshield. 

“ _Criss_ ,” she muttered under her breath

The flakes quickly began to accumulate as she knew they would, growing in size and blanketing the windshield faster than the wipers could keep up with. As darkness loomed upon them, the two detectives collectively decided it was unwise to continue in the now nearly treacherous conditions.

Lise pulled off at the nearest exit and stopped at a roadside motel that stood nestled between two gas stations and a rundown diner.

And of course there was only one vacancy, and _of course_ the room only had one bed and _of course_ this was all happening on Valentine’s Day.

But they were grown-ups, right? Partners, even. They could handle the proximity. That was what Lise told herself anyways as they stood at the front desk trying not to make eye contact with one another...

“Will you and your wife be staying with us longer than this evening?”

Lise chewed on her lip as Cardinal struggled through a clear response.

“Oh- we, uhh... no, we’re not-“

“-Just the one night.” Lise interjected, saving the young man behind the front desk from a unnecessary and undoubtedly awkward explanation.

They quickly picked up some dinner from the diner next door and sat against the headboard munching on burgers and fries in a companionable silence. It might have been the strangest Valentine’s Day of Lise’s life but at the same time, she found herself feeling an odd sense of comfort.

At least they weren’t alone? They had each other.

When Lise could no longer suppress her yawns, Cardinal cleared his throat and suggested they get some sleep.

Ever the gentleman, her partner offered to sleep in the easy chair in the corner of the room but Lise couldn’t bear the idea of John trying to fold himself into the small bit of furniture, his long limbs no doubt forcing him to sleep hunched over all night...

No, she offered him the other side of the bed.

“You’re sure?” he asked, softly, with an obvious hesitancy.

_She wasn’t. At all._

“Oui.”

With that settled, John switched off the lights and Lise got under the covers, curling on her side with her back to him. She felt the mattress slowly dip beside her and clutched the thin blanket tightly around her, quietly wishing her partner a good night.

She waited until she heard Cardinal’s breathing even out before wiggling out of her pants beneath the blanket and then finally closed her eyes, trying to breathe through the lure of her partner‘s close proximity.

Her heart stuttered at the scent of him wrapping itself around her—pine and spice and a manly sort of musk that had her thighs pressing tightly together and her teeth digging painfully into her lower lip.

She was under the covers with _John Cardinal_ , in her _underwear_ on _Valentine’s Day._ It was hard to wrap her mind around it, especially when she factored in the notion that he wasn’t even hers. She thought of the way her partner had stuttered through his denial of their assumed marriage and felt her cheeks redden.

She shouldn’t care. It shouldn’t sting the way it did...

Lise listened to the soft inhales and exhales behind her and found comfort in the regular rhythm of his breathing, listening until her eyelids grew heavy and fluttered closed, her muscles relaxing, her mind slowly sinking into the sweet nothingness of sleep...

* * *

Oddly enough it was the howling wind whipping snow against the windowpane that initially woke her in the dead of night and _not_ the warmth and weight of fingertips pressing just below her breast. When she put two and two together she was jolted out of the grogginess of sleep.

Her whole body tensed, muscles frozen in shock. The rough pads of his fingers brushed against her through the thin fabric of her shirt, tender and teasing over her quickly puckering flesh.

Her eyes widened in the darkness of the room, her body instantly jittery, aching with a strong need. She tried to breathe, to think, to _move_ but felt incapable of drifting away from him—the feel of his body draped around hers with his hand cradling the curve of her breast was irresistible.

She knew that he was fast asleep, could tell just by his breathing but Lise also knew her partner; Cardinal was the only man she had ever trusted implicitly, the only man who had steered clear of putting that trust in any kind of jeopardy. He was a gentleman and never faltered in the slightest.

John Cardinal would never knowingly do something like this.

And it was that fact alone that had her heart pounding behind the cage of her ribs. When she squeezed her thighs tighter together, the move seemed to trigger something in his dreamy state of mind. His limbs tightened posessively around her, pulling her closer and she felt his beard lightly graze the back of her neck, his breath skittering hotly across her skin like _fire_.

He felt so good wrapped around her— _strong, solid, warm... safe._

She felt his lips move, incoherent murmurs falling from his mouth over her shoulder. His fingers started moving ever so slightly again, teasing over the hardened peak of her breast.

Part of her just assumed this was how he probably had slept with Catherine. It was purely muscle memory, his body reacting to another sharing the same small space... that was all.

The other part of her hoped that maybe, just maybe somewhere in his less than conscious state, it was _her_ that he wanted and not the ghost of his wife...

The rumble of his voice, incomprehensible as it may be, filled her with a yearning that ached in a place deep inside—a place that she had grown used to ignoring. A place where she constantly, desperately desired her partner’s touch; his lips and beard and fingers against her skin, for his searing breath and tongue and body to make love to hers.

Lise’s blood ran hot in her veins, spreading like wildfire from her breasts to every inch of her body, tingling up and down her spine, curling low in her belly and the sound that caught in her throat was uncensored, a muted sort of whimper that echoed through the press of their bodies.

She instantly knew she had woken him, could feel his limbs seize around her with the stutter of shock in his chest as the blanket of sleep lifted.

It felt like time was moving at a snail’s pace.

" _Lise, I..._ "

" _Don’t_ ," she whispered, clamping her small hand over his on top of her breast, holding him in place, stopping his attempt to pull away and the slew of his rushed words.

_Don't say you’re sorry. Please don’t say you’re sorry,_ she thought, because _she_ wasn’t. Not in the slightest. Not when all she wanted more than anything was his touch, gentle, sweet, fast, furious, she didn’t care just as long as he kept touching her. 

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think with his body so warm pressed against hers, broad and heavy, his hand still cradling her breast like she was made of porcelain. She knew he had to have felt the rapid drumming of her heart by now.

And then _she_ felt something too—his hard and heavy erection nudging against her hip. Her panties were already significantly damp and Lise felt another impending gush of arousal.

Did he know just how badly she wanted him? Surely he had to have _some_ idea... and if he did, what would he even do with that knowledge?

Cardinal didn’t move, didn’t speak, was barely breathing and a heavy vulnerability began to bloom in the centre of her chest.

_Maybe this wasn’t something he wanted. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything at all..._

And then the words escaped, quiet and stilted, full of uncertainty.

_“Don't... ?_ ” He asked, the gravelly husk of his voice making the butterflies flap even heavier in her belly. “Don’t what...?”

Her heart galloped and for one long, pregnant pause she lay motionless, frozen, her blood rushing loudly in her ears, her skin vibrating from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.

“ _Don’t... stop_.” she whispered, slowly guiding his hand with hers, sliding it underneath the hem of her t-shirt, up her torso to the naked flesh of her breast, pressing his warm fingertips to her hardened nipple. He immediately took control, circling gently in rhythm with her moans. His were suppressed with his mouth now pressed to her neck.

“ _Christ, Lise_... tell me you’re sure about this.” 

His voice was so filled with want that it cut right into her middle, deep and searing; his words a heated murmur over her spine. Her nipples hardened even more under his touch.

He nuzzled his mouth wetly along her shoulder over the skin peeking out from beneath her shirt while he kneaded her breast, brushing the pad of his thumb across her nipple, over and over, tweaking the swollen bud and she bowed her back, needing more.

“ _M’sure_ ,”

She reached for the bottom of her shirt, attempting to pull it off so she could feel him against her, skin to skin. He helped, gently tugging the fabric over her head, following with his own before leaning over her, his broad chest pressing tightly to her back, and his soft skin so very warm that her entire body flushed beneath his touch.

His rough hands caressed her with such skill, as if he already knew exactly what she needed and how to make it happen.

She could barely breathe, her voice was raspy with need.

“ _John, I..._ ”

Her hips raised off the mattress, undulating into his pelvis where he nudged against her, thick and aroused, leaving her core pulsating with a wet desire.

Her fingers clawed into the sheets as he canted against her, her voice muffled by the pillow that half her face was still pressed into, though the yearning tone was unmistakable as she whimpered a wanton plea and she couldn’t find it in her to care that she was begging, all she cared about was that he kept touching her.

“ _I want you. Us... This...”_

He hummed, the sound vibrating as he continued to kiss a fiery trail down her spine, the hot swirl of his tongue against her as his fingertips skated down her sides.

"Lise... Do you remember what you said to me when Dyson first put us together?"

His words bounced against her skull as he reached the flare of her hips and curved his palms over her hipbones, his words stilling her body.

_Of course she remembered._

“I’m glad to be-“

“-working on this with you.” He finished, his fingertips slipping underneath the elastic waistband of her panties. “Yeah, I’ve wanted you since then. And not just you— _this... us...”_

He parroted her words back to her and she was having trouble processing his bold confession. He shimmied her underwear off, leaving her completely naked and panting beneath him, before kissing up the length of her spine, pressing his fingers into the soft swell of her ass.

_He’s wanted her since then?_ She whimpered out loud at the thought. _He was still married then..._

" _John_...” she murmured, feeling his breath skating across her heated flesh but he kept going,

“You’re beautiful... “

She shivered, goosebumps rising all over her skin as he crawled back over her, covering her body with the length of his.

His fingers slid purposefully over the curve of her ass, dipping between her spread thighs from behind and she instinctively opened wider, lifting her hips to welcome him, needing to feel him.

And then his fingers glided between her slick folds—a dark moan burst from her throat, mingling with the deep groan flooding from his own lips as he found her swollen flesh, her body so wet— _just for him_.

He slipped his middle finger inside of her gently, pressing his thumb to her clit, canting his pelvis against hers with every stroke.

She was going to come—hard and fast—if he kept up his ministrations. She felt herself jerk uncontrollably, her muscles clenching around him, sensations bursting, bright and overwhelming. She forced her body not to give in. Not _yet_. She wanted to come with him inside of her. Together.

He worked her flawlessly, his lips were never idle as he tasted the tender skin below her ear, tugging her earlobe into his mouth, between his teeth.

Lise had not been touched by another man in a very long time and _never_ before with such reverence.

Her body felt fuzzy as her pelvis rubbed relentlessly against the mattress, the pressure of his fingers causing blood to pound in her ears and still she had to have more, fingers grasping...

“ _J’ai besoin de toi,_ ” she whimpered, scrabbling behind her, finding him through the fabric of his pants, palming the large, throbbing bulge there. “I need y-“

He pulled his fingers from her, groaning at the desperate sounds she made in response and hastily removed the last articles of clothing between them. And then his large body was hovering above her, his weight held up by his arm, his engorged tip nudging at her entrance.

There was a moment where neither of them moved, their bodies poised, their harsh panting and the howling of the wind the only sound penetrating the small room.

Lise felt as if her heart was about to leap right out of her chest.

She could hardly believe what was happening even _as_ it was happening. Two bodies naked, minds stripped of all defenses... in that moment there was literally nothing more vital to her than feeling him inside of her, slotting together like the final piece of a puzzle they had been working tirelessly on for _years_...

She lifted her hips and he finally, gently slid home.

She whimpered, helplessly and felt John still, practically holding his breath as he gave her—and himself, time to adjust. She clenched, fluttering around him instinctually—again, trying desperately not to come. She wondered if he was struggling with this same issue as well.

She gripped his hand at her hip, intertwining their fingers.

" _John_ ,” she whispered his name, caressing it with her accent, “ _Please_.”

Her words had him moving again, pulling out almost entirely, only to slide back in, grazing along her heated walls. He repeated the move and her hips instantly began to follow the rhythm he set, his pelvis angling back into her, faster, deeper as she met him stroke for stroke.

She couldn’t help the tumble of pleas from her lips,

“ _N'arrête pas... fuck... yesss...”_

He answered in turn, his voice raw and desperate, the words rumbling through his chest.

“ _Fuck... so warm... tight...”_

She undulated her hips, circling into him, urging him to give it to her harder, faster, to take from her what was his— what he’d been yearning for, what they had both wanted for so long.

Lise had never needed anybody in this way before, with such a desperate intensity. It was intoxicating.

He released her hand to stroke a pathway up her back, curving his palm over her shoulder and wrapping it gently around the base of her throat. His caress was so tender in contrast to the hard slam of his body into hers, the deep strokes that she welcomed—intense and filled to the brim with him. Her nerves were on fire, her muscles tightening and she slipped a hand between her stomach and the mattress, sliding her fingers over her slippery, swollen nerves, needing a counter pressure to the sharp, intense stimulation inside of her.

Her fingertips dipped lower and when she felt where they were connected, felt the thin skin of him as he surged in and out of her body, her arousal coating him, it almost sent her over the edge right then and there.

He groaned her name, his pelvis grinding sinfully into her hips, his movements growing jerky, sloppy as he brought her closer, _closer_ , as her whole body jolted and clamped, the spread of fire scorching from her belly out into her limbs, zipping through her veins until the throb was uncontainable. When he voiced his impending release, her muscles fisted around him, milking him as she broke apart, brightness flaring behind her closed eyelids, the burst of sensations exploding through her.

His groans were loud in her ears, mingling with her own as he followed her into oblivion, jerking within her as he came apart, surrounding her with his broad body and finally his arm gave out; he collapsed, draped over her back and ass, still inside of her.

They both gasped for air, and when he tried to move she clamped her legs together, holding him there, not ready to give him up to the harsh chill of the room quite yet.

Lise attempted to breathe, her muscles still shaky, the sweat slowly drying on her skin and Cardinal entwined his fingers with hers once again, resting them next to her head.

She stared at their hands, laced together, his long fingers, the gold wedding band that was still wrapped around one of them... The weight of their actions settled upon her.

Would everything change now? Could they be these people _and_ the partners they’d been beforehand?

Her fingers clenched around his and he whispered into her ear, "I can _hear_ you thinking,"

He pressed soft kisses to the edge of her jaw. His voice was so calm and warm and it wrapped it’s way around her heart like a comforting cocoon, his body holding her close and safe against him.

He could sense her panic and his protective instincts were clearly kicking in.

She thought of those instincts—how they were the same ones that followed them into the field, under the weight of his bullet proof vest. She thought of their partnership, how strong its roots had grown. Cardinal would take a bullet for her, she knew that with just as much certainty that she would do the same for him, without a second thought.

There was no one else in the world she would ever want beside her—as a partner both in combat _and_ behind closed doors.

“I might... _love you_.” She admitted quietly.

She hadn’t meant to say it. Not really, but the words seemed to body a life of their own as they lay there wrapped up in one another.

“Lise...I should have told you sooner, I just- I love _you_. No might.”

His warmth surrounded her, seeping not just from his body but from the strength of his heart and she felt _safe_.

She smiled into the pillow,

“I understand why you couldn’t.”

He grazed his teeth over the skin of her shoulder, leaving her shivering with a fresh bout of need.

_Already_.

“Can I kiss you...?”

Her smile widened automatically, her dimples pronounced in her flushed cheeks and she laughed—a light and airy sound that filled the quiet room.

He was asking for permission to kiss her after having just thoroughly had her in every sense of the word. On top of that, he had just confessed his love for her.

Typical John Cardinal, doing everything backwards.

“Mhm.” She nodded enthusiastically.

He slipped out of her warmth as she turned within his embrace and she hooked a leg over his waist as he folded her beneath him, bringing their hips close together. She laced her arms lazily around his neck, tugging his face close to hers.

His eyes clouded over with desire as his gaze met hers and the tip of her tongue traced the soft pink flesh of his lower lip.

“Hi.” she whispered, hot breath mingling with his own.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Their first kiss was messy, two silly smiles pressed happily against one another’s.

It was _perfect_.


End file.
